Thursday, February 12, 2015

That's All, Folks?

Dear Readers,

Alright, this will be my last post....maybe.  As of late, I just don't have the time to sit down and give the effort I used to and that's just not me.  I'll put it this way, I've put writing this post off for two weeks, that's how little time I've had.  Plus I feel like I have just been rehashing the same thing each day.  I have a notebook where I write down any (brainfart) thoughts that come to mind and recently, I've been scrapping the bottom of the barrel.  But we've had some good times, covering topics from boobs to movies to boobs to sports to more boobs and I had a blast doing it, hopefully, you guys (and ladies) have, too.  I'm not going to commit to saying this is the last post because my schedule could become clear in the future and I will come back.  So goodbye, but check the site every few months, just in case.

Thanks,
Sambo

"I Googled 'Greatest Boobs Ever' and this was one of the pictures that came up."

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Movie Trailer Review - Kingsman

This is not a review of the trailer, but a review of this movie based entirely on this movie's trailer.  I have a special talent of being able to figure out whether a movie will be any good based just on the trailer and I'm finally putting that talent to good use.  Screw you, it's a real talent.



Everything about this trailer screams "Cliche!", but at the same time, it looks entertaining.  I don't know why, but I actually want to see this thing.  Maybe not in the theater, but I'll seek it out when it comes on HBO instead of waiting until it eventually plays on TNT.

As for the trailer, you have a no-name actor recruited to be a spy (?) by Colin Firth.  Lots of crazy training appears to take place, cool gadgets are introduced, and we meet the villain played by Samuel L. Jackson who talks with a lisp.....and it is awesome.  Do I really need to say anything else?  Not really, because like I said, I would actually go see this thing and I still might go while it is still in the theater.

Estimated Opening Weekend Box Office Gross - $35 million

What Kind of Fart This Movie Will Resemble:

The Command Fart - This fart differs from the Anticipated Fart in that it can be held for long periods of time waiting for the right moment. Unlike the Anticipated Fart, it is intended to be noticed. Harold Tabor recently held a Command Fart for the whole period in history class and let it go right at the end when the teacher asked if there were any questions.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Pros and Cons of Being Immortal

We all wish we could live forever, but do we really want to?  Like most everything in life, being immortal has its pros and cons.  So, let's break it down and see if it is truly worth it.

Pros

  • You never die, duh.
  • You would have lived through and seen history's most memorable moments.
  • You would be insanely wealthy by just depositing a couple bucks in a savings account and letting it sit there for a hundred years.
  • You could experience everything you wish you would want to see or do.
  • You could jump off of building, run in front of train, become a crime fighter, or risk your life in any number of imaginable ways without worrying about the consequences to your health.
  • Depending on when you started your life, you could convince people you were a god.


Cons

  • Everyone you ever knew and/or loved will grow old and die while you stay the same age.
  • You would have to hide your immortality from everyone so you don't end up being endlessly studied by those who would want to exploit it.
  • There's a good chance you would end up floating through a void of nothingness when the universe ends.
  • You never die.

So, what did we learn?  I'm not sure.  I honestly don't know what I would want.  Maybe if I could live for a couple hundred of years, I would definitely take it, but forever?  Sounds like it would kind of suck.  In conclusion, we learned nothing.  You're welcome.

"This is how rich you would be though."

Monday, February 9, 2015

Random Movie Trivia - Silence of the Lambs

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

The Silence of the Lambs
  • Jodie Foster claims that during the first meeting between Lecter and Starling, Anthony Hopkins's mocking of her southern accent was improvised on the spot. Foster's horrified reaction was genuine; she felt personally attacked. She later thanked Hopkins for generating such an honest reaction.
  • In preparation for his role, Anthony Hopkins studied files of serial killers. Also, he visited prisons and studied convicted murderers and was present during some court hearings concerning serial killings.
  • One of the inspirations that Anthony Hopkins borrowed from for his interpretation of Hannibal Lecter was a friend of his in London who never blinked which unnerved anyone around him.
  • At 24 minutes and 52 seconds, Anthony Hopkins's performance in this movie is the second shortest to ever win an Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role, with David Niven in Separate Tables (1958) beating him by one minute.
  • Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry auditioned for the role of Clarice, and Andie MacDowell was also considered. Meg RyanMichelle Pfeiffer, and Melanie Griffith turned the role down because of the disturbing subject matter.
  • Buffalo Bill is the combination of three real-life serial killers: Ed Gein, who skinned his victims, Ted Bundy, who used the cast on his hand as bait to convince women to get into his van, and Gary Heidnick, who kept women he kidnapped in a pit in his basement.
  • After Jodie Foster first read the Thomas Harris novel, she tried to buy the rights herself, only to find Gene Hackman had beaten her to it.
  • As of 2014, the only horror film to win an Oscar for Best Picture. Only two others have been nominated: The Exorcist and Jaws.
  • When Jonathan Demme filmed the scene where Lecter and Starling first meet, Anthony Hopkins said he should look directly at the camera as it panned into his line of sight. He felt Lecter should be portrayed as "knowing everything."
  • John HurtChristopher LloydDustin HoffmanPatrick StewartLouis Gossett Jr.Robert DuvallJack Nicholson, and Robert De Niro were all considered for the role of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Jeremy Irons and Sean Connery turned down the role.
  • The pattern on the moth's back in the movie posters is not the natural pattern of the Death's-Head Hawk Moth. It is, in fact, Salvador DalĂ­'s "In Voluptas Mors", a picture of seven naked women made to look like a human skull.

"Yup, that is actually seven naked ladies shaped like a skull."

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Stupid State Laws - Idaho 3

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Pocatello, Idaho

"It is illegal not to smile."

I would absolute love to go to Pocatello, Idaho and walk around with a frown on my face just to see if they actually enforce this asinine law.  Seriously, how can you make it illegal to do something that natural occurs when faced with different emotions?  What about when you are sleeping?  Do you have to smile then, too?  On top of that, have you ever smiled for a really long time?  It's exhausting.  Come on, Idaho, you have to think these things through before you pass such stupid laws.

"Finally, rookie!  I get to take this smug bastard down a peg.  Cuff him!"
"Mr. Clooney, can I get your autograph?"
Damn it, rookie!  I said cuff him!"

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  I know I've shown this video before, but I love it that much:


Summary:  So awesome.  Plus I couldn't find anything else I wanted to post.

Friday, February 6, 2015

Movie Trailer Review - Jupiter Ascending

This is not a review of the trailer, but a review of this movie based entirely on this movie's trailer.  I have a special talent of being able to figure out whether a movie will be any good based just on the trailer and I'm finally putting that talent to good use.  Screw you, it's a real talent.



For the guys (well, one guy and one gal who used to be a guy, it's confusing, look it up) who brought you The Matrix Trilogy and Speed Racer, we have Jupiter Ascending.  In other words, these directors have made two movies since The Matrix and only one of them was semi-decent (that being Cloud Atlas), so the chances of this succeeding are slim.  What is about?  Something about Earth actually being populated by another planet and the rulers of that planet now deciding our fate through treachery.  I think.

As for the trailer.  This is the only one I could find that made the movie look halfway worth seeing.  It has a good cast, Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, that guy who played Stephen Hawking, and Sean Bean (how will his character die this time?).  But it also looks really, well, I don't know what it looks like.  I guess my biggest problem with it is that Mila Kunis is a janitor.  In what world, would a hottie like that be a janitor?  None.  Plus it doesn't help that this thing was pushed back from this past summer to February.  Nothing good ever comes out in February.  Ever.  So, should you go see it?  Probably not unless one of your dumb friends saw it and said it was good.  Then again, he is is your dumb friend for a reason and his opinion is sketchy at best.

(P.S.  At its opening, people walked out halfway through because they said it was confusing and stupid.  If your dumb friend still suggests you go see this, get new friends.)

Estimated Opening Weekend Box Office Gross - $30 million

What Kind of Fart This Movie Will Resemble:

The G and L Fart - This is one of the most ordinary and pedestrian of farts, known to everyone. Certainly it is the least gross. If you have not already guessed, G and L stands for Gambled and Lost. One of the most embarrassing of all farts, even when you are alone.