Answer: The power of sea life and seafood.
Having a sea-dwelling animal as a mascot seems like a good idea, it is definitely on the short list of options for a mascot if you were starting a college. Of course you would want originality. Do you really want your school mascot to be another lion, tiger, or bear (sorry, couldn't resist)? Plenty of those mascots are already established so you aren't making any headway there. You also want to stay away from "over-originality" like when people name their kids Apple (Gweneth Paltrow), Pilot Inspector (Jason Lee), or Wednesday (Morticia Addams). Being the Banana Slugs is funny the first few times you see it or say it, but after 4+ years it gets to be a little much. Another requirement when choosing your mascot is that it should instill some fear in your opponent. You don't want the SportsCenter anchor making fun of your teams - I'm looking at you Northern Arizona Lumberjacks (are you going to gay plaid us to death?), the Tulane Green Wave (you can wave goodbye to your respect), and the Maryland Terrapins (go ahead and slowly and steadily carve out another 2-10 football season).
To summarize, every college wants a unique but not obscure, fierce, fun mascot. Enter sea life. What is the biggest question/debate/travesty in the NCAA right now? Who deserves the title? The BCS? Nope - HOW THE FUCK IS THERE NOT A SHARK MASCOT ?!?!?! Makes no sense. No Crabs. No Lobsters. No Sting Rays. No Sea Lions. Not even an effing manatee. Only Jacksonville University come close with the gay shark (Dolphin). Let's take a look at the pros of a water dwelling mascot:
1 - Uniqueness - Except for waves and pirates, nothing lives in the water. Also, you will not have the same mascot as anyone else - everyone knows where you go to school by the animal so you can avoid any blank stares when you tell people you support the Tigers (Clemson, Auburn, LSU, Missouri, Memphis, and 30 other small schools have a tiger as a mascot).
2 - Area - All those colleges out there neglect the two-thirds of the earth covered by water. You should embrace it. This lets you tie in fundraisers and support causes that make sense by supporting your mascot's habitat and automatically generate so much hippie karma - that's worth at least a few points a game.
3- Sex Appeal - Not really, but check out this pic.
4 - The Upper hand - Colleges do have water sports like swimming and diving so those teams will automatically have the best mascots. "Who are swimming against today?" "The Sharks." "FUCK".
5- Money - When a school changes their mascot to something cool, everyone that likes them has to buy all new gear which will generate tons of revenue. Time it with a partnership with a new apparel provider and you have gold, Jerry, gold!
6- Fear - If I go into a forest, don't bears and tigers and lions and eagles live there? So what, I go in forests all the time and I'm alive. There are a lot of people that won't even go in the ocean and couldn't swim even if they did. You can't see 3 feet in front of your place and that thing you just stepped on is either a piece of a shell or a giant prehistoric sea monster ready to eat you.
7 - Tailgate Food - I have struggled with this for years. Why aren't there many, if any, seafood boils at tailgates? All it is is a bunch of seafood in a huge pot - you cannot screw it up. It's messy goodness that you can get dirty with. It is also PERFECT with beers. Maybe even some champagne!
Please Tweet all college presidents and let's get this going. Soon we could have the ACOMC (Atlantic Coast Ocean Mascots Conference). I know this leaves out lakes but that is on purpose. Lakes suck.
Having a sea-dwelling animal as a mascot seems like a good idea, it is definitely on the short list of options for a mascot if you were starting a college. Of course you would want originality. Do you really want your school mascot to be another lion, tiger, or bear (sorry, couldn't resist)? Plenty of those mascots are already established so you aren't making any headway there. You also want to stay away from "over-originality" like when people name their kids Apple (Gweneth Paltrow), Pilot Inspector (Jason Lee), or Wednesday (Morticia Addams). Being the Banana Slugs is funny the first few times you see it or say it, but after 4+ years it gets to be a little much. Another requirement when choosing your mascot is that it should instill some fear in your opponent. You don't want the SportsCenter anchor making fun of your teams - I'm looking at you Northern Arizona Lumberjacks (are you going to gay plaid us to death?), the Tulane Green Wave (you can wave goodbye to your respect), and the Maryland Terrapins (go ahead and slowly and steadily carve out another 2-10 football season).
To summarize, every college wants a unique but not obscure, fierce, fun mascot. Enter sea life. What is the biggest question/debate/travesty in the NCAA right now? Who deserves the title? The BCS? Nope - HOW THE FUCK IS THERE NOT A SHARK MASCOT ?!?!?! Makes no sense. No Crabs. No Lobsters. No Sting Rays. No Sea Lions. Not even an effing manatee. Only Jacksonville University come close with the gay shark (Dolphin). Let's take a look at the pros of a water dwelling mascot:
1 - Uniqueness - Except for waves and pirates, nothing lives in the water. Also, you will not have the same mascot as anyone else - everyone knows where you go to school by the animal so you can avoid any blank stares when you tell people you support the Tigers (Clemson, Auburn, LSU, Missouri, Memphis, and 30 other small schools have a tiger as a mascot).
2 - Area - All those colleges out there neglect the two-thirds of the earth covered by water. You should embrace it. This lets you tie in fundraisers and support causes that make sense by supporting your mascot's habitat and automatically generate so much hippie karma - that's worth at least a few points a game.
3- Sex Appeal - Not really, but check out this pic.
5- Money - When a school changes their mascot to something cool, everyone that likes them has to buy all new gear which will generate tons of revenue. Time it with a partnership with a new apparel provider and you have gold, Jerry, gold!
6- Fear - If I go into a forest, don't bears and tigers and lions and eagles live there? So what, I go in forests all the time and I'm alive. There are a lot of people that won't even go in the ocean and couldn't swim even if they did. You can't see 3 feet in front of your place and that thing you just stepped on is either a piece of a shell or a giant prehistoric sea monster ready to eat you.
7 - Tailgate Food - I have struggled with this for years. Why aren't there many, if any, seafood boils at tailgates? All it is is a bunch of seafood in a huge pot - you cannot screw it up. It's messy goodness that you can get dirty with. It is also PERFECT with beers. Maybe even some champagne!
Thought this was fitting...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.totalprosports.com/2009/06/19/horny-shark-mascot-is-swimming-in-hot-water/