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Thursday, August 9, 2012

"Stars"

I'm tired of watching TV and hearing someone refer to those slut Kardashians as TV "Stars".  Honestly, can you give me good reason that they should be considered "Stars"?  They have no talent (unless getting banged by Ray-J counts) and should not be famous if not for the fact that they gave up their dignity to have a TV crew follow them around all the time.  So, I decided that a new set of terminology should be created for the different classes of famous people.  And because we already use the word "Star", we will follow that mold and use different types of celestial objects.  Let's do this:
  • Stars - this class is for the elite of the elite, they are the people that this term was originally created for and, therefore, should be the only ones that should be referred to as "Stars".  Ex:  Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Peyton Manning, etc.
  • Planets - a step below the elite, they might star in movies, TV, or play sports and are fairly famous, but should never be considered "Stars".  Ex:  Mark Wahlberg, John Krasinski, Jessica Biel, etc.
  • Moons - this group has the potential to be "Stars" but either they are not old enough to make that list or haven't done enough to get there yet.  Ex:  Jennifer Lawrence, Bryce Harper, etc.
  • Asteroids - these people were probably famous at one point in their lives, but have fallen out of favor of the public for whatever reason.  So, basically they are floating around Hollywood looking for another big hit, just like astroids.  Ex:  Matthew Perry, Kevin Costner, etc.
  • Comets - these are the people that were famous at one time or another and we hear a news story about them every decade or so, kind of like comets.  Ex:  Corey Feldman, Lindsay Lohan, Mr. T, etc.
  • Space Trash - this one was specifically made for the Kardashians of the world, because they are basically trash and should be referred to as trash.  Ex:  All TV Whores and Reality Show Idiots.
Now that that is set in stone, you now know how to refer to famous people the world over.  So, don't forget to correct someone the next time they refer to Snooki as a "Star", she's not, she is just an awful excuse for a human being.

"Space Trash."

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