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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Movie Sequels, Prequels, and More - Comic Book Edition

Here comes another edition of one of my favorite posts, Movie Sequels, Prequels, and More.  Basically, I love making these lists because it shows how unoriginal Hollywood has become and how few ideas they have anymore.  This time I will only be covering the next batch of comic book movies in the pipe.  Let's do this:
  • Aquaman - Didn't they already make this one?  It starred Vinnie Chase and was directed by James Cameron.  Oh wait, that was on Entourage.  Well, the good news is that this movie can't be any more stupid than the fake version.
  • Black Panther - I actually had to look up who in the hell this guy is and guess what, he is ridiculously stupid.  He is the chieftain of something called the "Wakandan Panther Clan", on top of that he is also a skilled hunter, tracker, strategist, politician, inventor, and scientist.  For some reason it is set to come out next summer despite having no star or director lined up.
  • Doctor Strange - Growing up, this was fellow Brainfart contributor Alex's favorite comic book.  Who is Doctor Strange?  I still don't know but I do know Alex might finally go see a comic book movie while it is in the theater.
  • Ant-Man - I don't know what is more ridiculous, that a movie about a "superhero" that has the ability to control insects is being made or that Edgar Wright, the director of Shaun of the Dead will be taking the helm for this thing.  Total coin flip.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy - Not only is this movie set to release in 2015, but one of the characters is a gun-wielding racoon named Rocket Racoon.  I'm not kidding.  However, you know this movie will probably be better than Adam Sandler's next turd, Grown Ups 2.
  • Justice League - This one is supposed to come out in 2015 and unless Christian Bale is playing Batman, then don't bother.....unless Adam West reprieves his role, then it just might be awesome.
  • Deadpool - Yup, they are doing a movie with the character Ryan Reynolds played in that Wolverine movie.  Making this even more ridiculous is that Ryan Reynolds is already signed up meaning he will still be the only actor to have played three comic book characters (Green Lantern, Deadpool, and Hannibal King)
  • The Flash - It's actually about time they made a movie about this guy.  I know that The Flash isn't the most popular superhero, but a movie about him can't be any worse that that piece of shit Green Lantern movie......right?
  • Luke Cage - The only thing I know about Luke Cage is that when Nicolas Cage picked a stage name, he decided to use this character's last name instead of his own because he wanted to separate himself from his more famous uncle, Francis Ford Coppola.
  • Nick Fury - You got it, Samuel L. Jackson is getting his own movie based on his character from The Avengers.  However, did you know they already made a movie based on Nick Fury?  It was a shitty TV movie starring David Hasselhoff.
  • Wonder Woman - After they failed to remake this into a TV series a couple years ago, what makes them think that anyone will go see a movie about the same character?
  • X-Men 5 - This is the sequel to the prequel in the X-Men series starring Oscar Winner Jennifer Lawrence and is set to come out next summer.  Is it necessary?  Nah, but Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones) will be in it, so maybe I will go see it.  Then again, I just read that the plot revolves around Kitty Pryde sending her brain back in time....what?!?
"Yup, this guy is getting his own movie for some reason."

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