Why The World is Dumber

Is it just me or is the world getting dumber?  How else do you explain the existence of Honey Boo-Boo and idiots cowardly shooting up a movie theater?  Well, I think I have found a direct correlation between the world getting dumber and recent world events.  That would be that there have been no world wars in recent memory.  Yup, the lack of worldwide conflict is the reason we as humans are getting dumber as a whole.

You see, what is the biggest downside to a large war?  Massive casualties.  And what section of the population suffers the most from said casualties?  Dumb people.  Basically, a war is able to apply the largest rule of nature - survival of the fittest.  War strategy dictates that the smart strategist send waves of their soldiers to front line.  And the front line is generally composed of the lowest (dumbest) ranked soldiers.  The front line then always suffers the biggest casualties because those guys are either too dumb to figure out how to survive or too stupid to realize that running at a machine gun nest is not the smartest thing to do with your life.  Sure, not all of the front line guys are idiots and that even the smarter soldiers don't live, but that has more to do with bad luck rather than stupidity.  And yes, today's wars are fought behind computer screens hundreds of miles away, but that is exactly the point.  No one is dying and therefore the survival of the fittest cannot occur.

Don't get me wrong, senseless death is not what I'm advocating, I'm just trying to point out that I think there is a correlation between the rise of reality TV, Big Gulps, and The Darwin Awards and the decrease in wartime casualties.  It's either that or we need to take the remote control away from women so that they will stop watching and contributing ratings to all the trash that is on TV.  And this time, I am definitely saying that it is women's fault, men don't go out of their way to watch Duck Dynasty.

"This picture pretty much wraps up my whole argument in a mullet-shell."