AMC Movies Part One

I was scrolling through the channel guide the other day and stumbled upon AMC.  Do you know what AMC stands for?  It's American Movie Classics.  And based on what they seem to be showing lately, the "Classics" part of that title is way off.  I scrolled through a week's worth of AMC movies and decided to make a list of the least classic movies that AMC had scheduled that week.  Keep in mind, this was only a week's worth of movies, who the hell knows what else they plan on showing in the future that are not "classic" in any sense of the word.  Also, this is only part one of this list, there were a lot of non-classic movies on AMC.  And to point out how not classic these movies are, I threw in the year they were released to prove a point.  Let's do this:

• The Marine (2006) - I decided to start this list off with a bang.  If a movie stars a wrestler who cannot act (John Cena), what makes AMC think that it is a classic?  On top of that, it was made in 2006, what exactly is classic about that?
• Out of Sight (1998) - Jennifer Lopez cannot ever be the star of a movie that is deemed "classic".  I have no idea what this movie is about, but it doesn't matter, J-Lo is in it, therefore it sucks.
• The Italian Job (2003) - Maybe the original 1963 movie starring Michael Caine could be considered a classic, but not the Mark Wahlberg one.  It was a decent movie, but it also starred Jason Statham, need I say more.
• Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) - Nicolas Cage at his finest, but not fine enough to be considered a classic.  However, I will admit that I saw this one in the theater and actually enjoyed it.
• I Am Legend (2007) - This movie came out 6 years ago.  SIX!  How in the holy stupid decision-making is that considered a classic?
• King Arthur (2004) - A movie about an English legend set in England starring nothing but English actors.  Does that strike you as American?  Or classic?
• Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - Any movie that has Busta Rhymes as the second-billed actor can not be a classic.  No way, no how.
• Liar Liar (1997) - Well, at least I can say that this was the first movie in which Jim Carrey plays a character that cannot tell a lie or say no or whatever the hell the stupid plot of this and that Yes Man movie was.
• Hackers (1995) - The second Angelina Jolie movie on this list, does that say something about her career choices up to this point?  Also, did you know she married her Hackers co-star Jonny Lee Miller?  Yeah, Brad Pitt is getting Sherlock Holmes and Billy Bob Thornton's sloppy seconds.
• Cool Runnings (1993) - AMC does know that this movie was about a Jamaican bobsled team, right?  Not an American bobsled team, a Jamaican bobsled team.
• Drumline (2002)- It what universe is this movie an American classic?  Also, did you know that Star Trek's Zoe Saldana was in this movie?  No?  You didn't watch it either?  That makes sense because it was probably terrible....and definitely not a classic.

"If you are trying to figure it out, yes, that is Angelina Jolie.  And now you know why I have never found her attractive like the rest of the world does."