Best News Story Ever!

Check out this news story.  If you are too lazy to read it - and shame on you, the title is "Leopard Terrorizes Indian City" - I will summarize.  Basically, a giant huge scary leopard is loose inside a city.  Now I will highlight the amazing things.

1. The start of the story has the leopard in the city.  No mention of where it came from or how it got to the center of the city.  Perfect.
2. It was first seen in a local timber shop.  What the hell is that?  I have heard of woodworking shops, maybe furniture making shops, but a timber shop?  I picture an outdoor shop with trees growing in it.
3. It went into a cinema and then into an apartment and then across rooftops.  Sounds like Leopard Hangover.
4. There were onlookers impeding the capture of the leopard.  Who looks on to see what a leopard will do next?  I will tell you what it will do - eat your damn face off!
5. They never caught it.  This is the official quote: "Nothing happened (Monday). So, there are chances it could have gone back into the forest."  Are you kidding me?  It hasn't destroyed anyone in a day so you assume all is well?  Wow.

Such a good story on its face that only gets better with the details.  Thanks, India.

"Oh no - a stick! Oh wait, I'm a fucking leopard!"