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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Movie Sequels, Prequels, and More - Part 11

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original.  In this case, we will be looking at all of the video games that are in production to become movies:

  • G.I. Joe 3 - The first one was dumb but actually entertaining.  The second one I never watched and don't plan on it until it comes on TNT.  A third one?  No thank you.  Did the sequel make enough money to justify a second sequel?  I looked it up and it somehow made $122 million.  How?!?
  • Paul Blart 2 - Are you serious?  The original was so bad that even I stopped watching it after 20 minutes and I like to watch dumb movies all the time.
  • Vacation - Now comes a string of remakes.  Apparently Chevy Chase needs money, so he somehow convinced Hollywood to make another one of these.  When did the most recent come out?  1997.  Hollywood, you are better than this...maybe.
  • It - They do realize that the original It was a TV movie?  Sure, it wasn't bad, but it was still a TV movie.
  • Highlander - Love it.  They'll fuck it up, but I will still see this one.  Maybe not in the theater, but I just might rent it one day.
  • Fletch - Another Chevy Chase remake.  Does he have embarrassing photos of someone?  That's the only way to explain a remake of this movie.  The original Fletch wasn't even that good, what makes them think another one will make money?
  • Overboard - This is my sister's favorite movie, therefore I am on board.  Ha, get it?  On board.  I will be really interested to see who they cast for the two lead roles because Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn were perfect for the original.
  • Scarface - Why?  The only thing they will do with a remake is totally diminish the original.  Hell, I didn't even like the original all that much.  It was too long and if you weren't playing the drinking game while watching it, you would get bored well before the epic finale.
  • Short Circuit - Yes, please.  As long as they don't CGI the robot (which they will), then this might be a decent movie to remake.  I love Johnny 5, but apparently they are remaking it to be darker and to focus on drone warfare.  Damn it, I hate you, Hollywood.
  • Weird Science - No.  There is absolutely no way you can remake this movie and not make it stupid.  This movie worked because of the era it was made, a remake won't make any sense in today's technological age.
"Peter Jackson's Scarface would be longer than the original and star Gollum, let's make this happen."

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