Pages

Friday, May 30, 2014

Movie Trailer Review - A Million Ways to Die in the West

This is not a review of the trailer, but a review of this movie based entirely on this movie's trailer.  I have a special talent of being able to figure out whether a movie will be any good based just on the trailer and I'm finally putting that talent to good use.  Screw you, it's a real talent.



First off, I have say that I have a long-standing stance that I won't see a comedy while it is in theater.  There is no point.  You can enjoy it at home and not miss anything that would make it a better movie by seeing it while in theaters.  Having said that, let's get on with the review.

I went with the red band trailer on this one because, well, I liked it more.  More cussing, more blood, more sense of what this movie is about.  Will this movie be good?  Hard to say.  It has a great cast.  Charlize Theron is the most naturally beautiful woman in Hollywood (if not the world), Liam Neeson is more entertaining than the garbage he usually stars in, Amanda Seyfried is....okay, Neil Patrick Harris is the man, but Seth MacFarlane casting himself as the lead is an interesting choice.  There's no doubt that he is funny and a talented voice artist, but can he act?  I don't know and that is why I have mixed feelings about this movie.  Should you see it?  Sure, but wait until it comes out on Blu-Ray.  There's no need to blow 10 bucks per ticket when you can watch it on your couch for far less cash.

Estimated Opening Weekend Box Office Gross - $35 million

What Kind of Fart This Movie Will Resemble:

The Chicken Soup Fart: One day I had chicken soup for lunch at work and then stopped off at the gym after work. When it came on, I eased it out, covered by the gym's muzak. It smelled exactly like chicken soup. A few feet away some woman sniffed and said; "Is somebody cooking?" I had to turn to the wall to hide my laughter.


Bonus Review - Maleficent

This is how imagine this movie got made:

Hollywood Big-Wig 1:  "Whoa, did you see how much money Snow White and the Huntsman made?  We need to do something like that."
Hollywood Big-Wig 2:  "Okay, okay, I got it.  We do Sleeping Beauty, make it darker but get a bigger actress to play the villain, like Angelina Jolie!"
Hollywood Big-Wig 1:  "Genius.  And why don't we make it all about the villain and make a crazy back story and I guess throw in the Sleeping Beauty story, no one will care if it's only about Angelina, right?"
Hollywood Big-Wig 2:  "We will be rolling in cocaine and hookers by next year!"

Something tells me this movie will suck balls.

No comments:

Post a Comment