The Force

This week, we celebrated Star Wars Day, aka "May the 4th Be With You".  And that got me to thinking - what exactly is it that "The Force" does for somebody who can wield it?  If I really cared, I'm sure I could find any number of books written on the subject by some super dorks, I mean fans, but I want to know what the Force is based solely off of what we saw in the 6 Star Wars movies.  With that being the basis, this is what we know about "The Force".

• You have to have some sort of stuff in your blood in order to use the Force, but that's irrelevant because it was covered in The Phantom Menace and I refuse to believe that movie exists even if I did just mention it.
• You can move things with your mind, telekinesis-style.
• You can bend people to your will like Professor X.
• You can uhhhh....feel stuff, kind of.
• You become a visible ghost after you die.
• If you are a bad guy, you can shoot lightening out of your hands.  That seems to be the only upside to going over to the Dark Side.
• And I think you have to have the ability to use the Force in order to use a lightsaber, but I'm nor sure about that.  We only see Jedi use them, so this is an assumption on my part and I don't feel like looking it up.
• Also, I guess it allows you to deflect laser beams with your lightsaber, but that might just be really good training.

That's about it.  Four, maybe five things if you are a good guy and one extra thing if you are a bad guy.  But considering how cool the Force sounds, you would think it would allow you to be able to do a lot more cool stuff, like teleport or stop time.  And now that I think about it, what in the hell is the Force?  How do the Jedi know that it isn't just that stuff in their blood that allows them to do all this stuff and not some mythical power?  That would make more sense, because if there is a magic power floating through the air, I feel like with the technology in those movies, they could create a machine that could harness it for other purposes.  Oh well.  So, what did we learn today?  Nothing, absolutely nothing.  You're welcome.

"If The Force actually existed, you know people would do stuff like this all the time and post it to Facebook.  We are so dumb."