Today's Celebrity Birthdays - June 9th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Johnny Depp (51) - Johnny is 51.  Wow.  Well, 51-year old Johnny Depp's upcoming projects include a 5th Pirates movie and a Alice in Wonderland sequel.  What's next, an Edward Scissorhands sequel?  I just looked, it's not in the works.......yet.
• Natalie Portman (33) - I don't know what to make of Natalie, she's attractive but she is short (I like my women tall) and has a Huge head.  Something tells me that if you met her in person, she wouldn't look anything like you see on the big screen.
• Michael J. Fox (53) - I find it amazing that Michael is actually older than Johnny Depp.  I will always picture him as young Marty McFly.
• Jackie Mason (83) - Apparently this guy was a big time comedian back in the day, but sadly all I remember him for was that horrible Caddyshack sequel.  Also, did you know that his character in that movie was named Jack Hartounian and his character in The Jerk was named Harry Hartounian?  What's up with that?
• Dick Vitale (75) - I hate this guy, but that's mostly because he is a huge Duke basketball homer and I can't stand those cheating bastards.  However, I will admit that I do like his enthusiasm, baby.
• Aaron Sorkin (53) - The mind behind the shows Sports Night, The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and The Newsroom.  I have nothing good or bad to say about this guy.
• David Koepp (51) - Who is David Koepp?  I didn't know who was either until I clicked on his IMDB page, and wow, this guy has a pretty impressive list of screenplay credits.  Jurassic Park and Spider-Man to name a couple.  He's a genius.  Oh wait, he wrote the 4th Indiana Jones, never mind, screw this guy.

"This is 28 year old Amber Heard, aka Johnny Depp's current girlfriend.  He's 51.  How is this fair?"