Mason and the Elf

Here comes another story about my awesome nephew Mason.  First off, if you don't know what an Elf On The Shelf is, it is a toy elf doll that parents tell their kids is watching them and reports back to Santa to tell him if they are being naughty of nice.  Well, my sister thought it would be a good idea to get one and see if it would help make Mason and his brothers behave (ha).  She set it up to look like Santa delivered an early gift, which she did by moving the fireplace screen out of place and putting the present under the tree and telling her kids that only Santa could have delivered that gift.  She then let them open the present and explained to them that the Elf On The Shelf will tell Santa if they misbehave.  Mason's brothers ate it up, but Mason took one look at the thing and said "That's not real". which is the three year old equivalent of calling bullshit.  (Now, if anyone out there watches the FX show The League, then you will recall that in one of their episodes a very similar thing happened with one of the characters and his daughter.  However, my sister told me this story literally the day before that episode aired, so if anything, The League heard about it and wrote it into that episode as a tribute to Mason and his awesomeness.)  Quick FYI, Mason's oldest brother named the elf Sparkles and according to the booklet that came with the elf, he has "magical flying powers" that he uses at night to go tell Santa whether my nephews have been naughty or nice each day, however, if one of them touches Sparkles, he will lose those powers and Santa will instantly know that they have been bad.  My sister also told Mason that if he misbehaved, then Santa would stop making his forklift and he wouldn't get it for Christmas, so he better believe that Sparkles would tell on him.

Now, since Mason didn't believe that Sparkles was real, the first thing he wanted to do was touch him, which forced my sister to put the elf well out of reach from her kids.  And do you think that stopped Mason?  If you do, then you underestimate Mason and are most likely doomed.  What Mason did instead was he woke up really early the next morning, found a broom, knocked Sparkles off his shelf, and proceeded to walk around the whole day flaunting the elf off to his brothers.  Because of Mason's craftiness, my sister was forced to use a ladder to help tie the elf to certain light fixtures that Mason had no chance of reaching.  That move didn't stop Mason, he came up with a new idea and got his Nintendo Wii Rifle that came with his Big Game Hunter game (and I would bet that he never misses his mark in that game) and went what he called "Elf Hunting" and proceeded to shoot the elf with his toy every time he saw him.  Apparently, my sister was told that this toy worked wonders with other parents' children, but Mason effectively ruined that experience for her and his brothers within a couple of days.  The morale of this story - don't try to trick or force Mason into doing anything, it WILL backfire.

"Elf Huntin."