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Monday, March 4, 2013

NOKW - The Book of Eli

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Book of Eli

Basic Plot:  I'm not entirely sure, I think Denzel Washington is just randomly wandering around a dystopian future for some reason until he gets in a fight with Gary Oldman, that's all I can remember other than the ending.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that there should be absolutely no gasoline left at this point in that future timeline and in fact, all gas should have run out shortly after whatever caused everything to go to shit.  The fact that they make you believe that Denzel's character is blind because you finally see his eyes at the end, but I call bullshit because he was able to walk vast distances and even fought a whole gang single-handed.  The fact that I only half-watched this movie because it was so dumb, so we are just going to skip to the next part.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Denzel's character memorized the entire Bible.  No. Effing. Way.  Have you ever read the Bible?  I have.  Not only is it super long but it is full of pointless information that no person in their right mind should ever need to remember.  There are literally a hundred pages of genealogy and entire books of pointless psalms and proverbs and they are trying to tell me that he not only remembers every word of the important stuff but can also recite every direct descendant of Noah?  No. Effing. Way.  First off, there is no such thing as 'photographic memory' meaning that there is absolutely no way he would be able to memorize the entire Bible, let alone one entire book of the Bible.  I want you to try and memorize this entire paragraph.  How long did that take?  I would say about an hour if anyone actually bothered (which I doubt anyone did).  Now, do that 100,000 times over and at the same time, remember all of it at once.  No. Effing. Way.  And let's not forget that it is in Braille which makes it that much tougher for someone to recall because almost everyone in the world is either an auditory or visual learner.  How are you supposed to visualize something like Braille?  It's just a bunch of raised bumps on a page, that isn't something you can just recall off the top of your head.  Sure, he could have read it aloud to himself, but come on, that is still almost 1,300 pages to memorize.  I am not okay with that.

"Reading the Bible is one thing, but memorizing it just absurd."

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