NOKW - TMNT 2

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

Basic Plot:  The sequel to everyone's favorite martial art using teenage amphibians.  This time they fight the Shredder and his evil clan again, along with two other mutants.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that this is a movie about giant turtles who can kick all sorts of ass while going through puberty, so we are just going to skip this part and jump into the next bit of this post.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that when a fight between four giant turtles and two other mutants break out in the middle of a Vanilla Ice concert, no one freaks out and runs for the exits.  Seriously, if you saw a bunch of giant monsters crash into the building you just happen to be in, I'm fairly certain your first instinct would be "Run!".  They may have been high and/or drunk which inhibits people's decision-making abilities, but that doesn't mean you stick around when monsters are a few feet away attempting to kill each other.  And to top it off, Vanilla Ice not only didn't run, he started the concert back up so the turtles and other monsters could fight to a beat.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that I still don't know what the one in the middle is supposed to be.  A dog?  Werewolf?  What?"

NOKW - Total Recall

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Total Recall (2012)

Basic Plot:  A remake only in name and characters, otherwise the original and this one have nothing in common.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that not a single scene takes place on Mars.  The fact that there were no mutants.  The fact that they seemed to force the 3-breasted woman in this movie just for the sake of adding something from the original.  The fact that Kuato wasn't even in this movie and I loved that little monster.  The fact that I was kind of shocked that I enjoyed this thing.  The fact that the only means of travel from one continent to the other was through a giant hole drilled through the Earth and that they were able to build it without it melting in the planet's core.  The fact that Colin Farrell is able to take out a dozen armed men without even getting a scratch.  The fact that they have all this cool technology and don't seem to use it when they need it.  The fact that I'm pretty sure this script was written and they later shoehorned it into a Total Recall remake.  The fact that they tried to make us believe that a fight between super-spy Colin Farrell and dopey Bryan Cranston would last more than one punch.   The fact that Kate Beckinsale is determined to kill Colin Farrell even though he is essential to the bad guy's plot to beat the rebels, speaking of which....

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that everything about the bad guy's plan makes no sense.  If you haven't seen this movie and don't want me to ruin it for you, then tough because it's been out for two years.  So basically, Bryan Cranston is the villain and he takes his best spy (Colin Farrell), brainwashes him and has him join the rebels to gain their trust.  He then captures Farrell and brainwashes him again into thinking he is just a regular Joe.  But Farrell has his rebel memories restored while at a Recall facility and goes on the run from Cranston's people.  Eventually, Farrell meets up with Jessica Biel who takes him to the head of the rebels.  Cranston follows them and kills the head rebel and reveals that this was all part of his plan.  My problem is that I don't understand why he captured Farrell and brainwashed him again.  Why not just wait until he meets up with the rebels and take them out?  I feel like he took an unnecessary step and it resulted in too many uncertainties, a lot of damage, and a ton of civilian deaths.  And sure, Colin Farrell did side with the rebels before the second brainwash and that might have complicated things for Cranston, but he was still able to follow Colin Farrell pretty easily in the end anyways.  So, still a pointless plan in my opinion.  I am not okay with that.

"That I find Jessica Biel hotter than Kate Beckinsale."

NOKW - War of the Worlds

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  War of the Worlds

Basic Plot:  Aliens attack Earth and Tom Cruise must protect his kids from said aliens.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that the aliens buried their killer tri-pods fairly shallow under city streets and no one stumbled across them.  The fact that Tom Cruise somehow survived that initial attack when it seemed like every person who came near him was blown into dust.  The fact that Tom was able to so easily start that van after all other vehicles were disabled, just in time to drive away from danger.  The fact that Tom and his family should have died WAY too many times in this thing but magically survived each time.  The fact that I'm still not sure that Tom should have killed Tim Robbins, the guy was only trying to survive too.  The fact that Tom Cruise's son magically survives an explosion from an alien offensive that seems to kill everyone else and then he easily makes it to Boston before Tom Cruise does.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that the aliens were defeated so easily.  These aliens have the technology to travel across the universe, invade a planet, and yet at no point during their planning they think about native germs.  Bullshit.  They thought far enough ahead to bury their attack tripods under cities and yet while they were down there, they didn't bother to see if any of the local germs and viruses could infect them?  What about taking a couple of samples with them and inventing a cure before their attack?  We know they are advanced enough to travel the cosmos, but not smart enough to defeat the common cold?  I am not okay with that.

"That the aliens' tripods might be the worst designed war machines ever, just one easily placed missile will take it down."

NOKW - Face/Off

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Face/Off

Basic Plot:  Nicolas Cage and John Travolta trade faces so Travolta can find a bomb planted by Cage somewhere in his town, but it doesn't go as planned.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that it really doesn't matter about this part because this movie's concept is utterly ridiculous and totally worked somehow, so we are going to skip it and get to the part that really bugs me.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that I still don't know how Good Guy Cage escaped from the prison where he found out where the bomb was planted from Bag Guy Cage's brother.  In case you have forgotten, the reason Good Guy Cage was even in prison was the reason for the entire plot.  He switched faces with Bad Guy Cage in order to trick Bad Guy Cage's brother into telling him where a bomb was planted.  Bad Guy Cage wakes up, becomes Bad Guy Travolta, and traps Good Guy Cage in prison.  Now, GG Cage has to break out of prison and stop BG Travolta from stealing his life.  The first part of GG Cage's escape plan is decent enough, create a distraction and then break out.  The problem with this plan is that the prison is in the middle of the ocean.  GG Cage makes it outside the prison and we see him jump off the top of the prison into the water, and the next time we see him he is back in his hometown.  How in the hell did he get back?  Did he get help from the police?  Nope, they all think he is Bad Guy Cage.  Did he steal a boat?  We have no idea, they didn't show us.  Did he swim back?  Hell no, he would have died before making it home.  So, how in the hell did he escape from prison?  I am not okay with that.

"Here is Good Guy Cage pretending to be Bad Guy Cage, confused yet?"

NOKW - The Wolverine

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Wolverine

Basic Plot:  Our favorite clawed mutant is back for the 7th time (yes, I'm counting his cameo in X-Men: First Class).  This time he is in Japan and fighting some more bad guys.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that it took me way too long to figure out that this movie was set after the shitty 3rd X-Men movie and not after the shitty origin movie.  The fact that staying in a hole in the ground for a couple of hours won't save your from the fallout of an atomic bomb.  The fact that Wolverine's biggest characteristic in the comics is that he is really small, but Hugh Jackman towers over everyone in this thing.  The fact that I still don't know what the Viper Lady's motivation for being evil was.  The fact that Mariko's friend (Yukio) comments early in the movie that Mariko's dad is "okay" at sword-fighting and then proceeds to get her ass kicked by him later.  The fact that I'm still not sure if Japanese Hawkeye was a mutant or just a really good shot with a bow.  The fact that Yashida (the bad guy) blew billions of his company's money on curing himself and only one person noticed.  The fact that I still don't understand how drilling into Wolverine's claws can allow the bad guy to steal his mutant ability.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that while Logan's mutant healing ability isn't working, he isn't bleeding all over the place every time he uses his claws.  In case you haven't seen this underrated movie, the Viper lady puts some sort of machine on his heart that suppresses his healing power and he runs around half the movie bleeding from numerous gunshot wounds.  And yet every time he whips out his claws, those wounds seem to heal immediately.  How?  He can't heal, so every time he uses his claws, his hands should be bleeding but somehow they don't.  On a side note, every time Wolverine unleashes his claws, wouldn't they be covered in blood anyways?  In any case, Logan should be bleeding a lot more than he does in this movie.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that I don't remember this scene with Psy in it."

NOKW - Goldeneye

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Goldeneye

Basic Plot:  Pierce Brosnan's first go as James Bond and he has to stop his old buddy 006 from destroying London.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that Bond was able to catch-up with that airplane after it fell off a cliff in the opening scene.  The fact that I still don't know what the composer was thinking about when he scored the music for the race scene between Bond and Jean Grey (see video below).  The fact that the Russian computer lady had an amazing body and they only showed her in a bikini for a couple of minutes instead of the whole movie.  The fact that it makes me laugh to realize that Boris is the same actor who played Nightcrawler in the 2nd X-Men movie.  The fact that while rewatching this I kept remembering the corresponding level from the video game that matched each scene.  The fact that I'm still not sure if this movie was good or if it was bad but the video game was so awesome it distorts my view of the movie.  The fact that James is able to jump in a Russian tank and drive it like it was his own car.  The fact that I'm not sure exactly what killed Jean Grey, I guess it was a broken back but they made it look like she suffocated which was impossible.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that the bad guys could build a giant satellite without anyone noticing.  The bad guy, 006, builds a satellite in Cuba so he can control Goldeneye and when Bond goes looking for it, his CIA contact says "if someone lights a cigar in Cuba, we would have seen it".  Granted the satellite is hidden under a lake, but that doesn't excuse that it had to be built with nobody noticing.  They had to drain the lake and bring in tons of raw material to build that thing and the CIA didn't notice that?!?  It's not like they can build something that large overnight.  And even then, once it was finished it would take months for that lake to fill back in and yet no one saw a giant satellite dish sitting in the middle of an empty lake?  Ridiculous.  I am not okay with that.

"Skip to 30 seconds in and you will hear the weirdest music ever."

NOKW - Spider-Man 2

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Spider-Man 2

Basic Plot:  The second installment of the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man series where he fights stuff and saves people, blah blah blah.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that nobody has connected the dots between Peter Parker disappearing and a guy of the same size in a spider-themed suit showing up to save the day.  The fact that nobody at the Daily Bugle has figured out that Peter Parker, the only guy who seems to be able to take pictures of Spider-Man, just might be Spider-Man.  The fact that J. Jonah Jameson's hatred for Spider-Man really is unwarranted.  The fact that Peter still sells his pictures to the one newspaper that seems to hate him.  The fact that every time that Doc Ock's mechanical arms are all doing something, they should be ripped off of his back or at least he should fall over with all that weight being on his back.  The fact that Harry Osbourne is mad that Spider-Man killed his dad even though his dad was a murdering super-villain.  The fact that Spider-Man can just lose his powers due to stress.  The fact that I really don't think Spider-Man is strong enough to stop a speeding train.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that everything about Doctor Octavius's first fusion experiment was possibly the worst idea ever for a scientist of his pedigree.  Let's start with the experiment itself.  He was attempting to create an energy source that would equal the output of the sun and he had to have his mechanical arms installed so that he could contain the experiment because if it went awry, Boom!  With that out of the way, let's talk about where he did his experiment.  Right in the middle of New York City.  So, if it went Boom!, millions of people would instantly be vaporized.  And not only that, he conducted his experiment not in a lab with some sort of safeguard to hope to contain a blast, but in his apartment.  What was he thinking?  And last, his experiment was attended by dozens of important people just a few yards away.  One of those people was Spider-Man who is supposedly super smart and even he didn't point out that the location of this extremely dangerous en devour was a terrible idea.  So, this "genius" was conducting an experiment that could result in a massive explosion killing millions in his apartment which was packed full of people who probably should have told him how dumb this idea truly was.  I am not okay with that.

"He may be kind of dumb for a smart guy, but I do like his style."

NOKW - Hook

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Hook

Basic Plot:  Peter Pan is old and he has to go back to Neverland and save his kids from Captain Hook.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that Peter forgot that he was Peter Pan and more importantly that he could fly, there is no way you would ever forget that you could fly.  The fact that Tinkerbell might be the most evil person in Neverland considering she is the one who abducted all of the Lost Boys and now they have to fight to the death against pirates the rest of their lives.  The fact that this was one of Gwyneth Paltrow's first movies, she played young Wendy.  The fact that the Lost Boys are still alive considering that their diet consists of nothing but imaginary food that looks mostly like cake icing.  The fact that there appears to be only two women in all of Neverland (if you don't count the mermaids), Tinkerbell and some pirate floozy.  The fact that I know where the Lost Boys came from (abducted children apparently), but I don't know how the pirates came to be in Neverland.  The fact that Tinkerbell just didn't show Peter where he slept a lot sooner, that would have saved them a lot of time trying to get Peter to remember who he really was.  The fact that you never grow up in Neverland and yet they show a flashback scene where we see Peter grow from an infant to a kid.  The fact that I didn't know until I was older that Dustin Hoffman was Captain Hook.  The fact that a bunch of pirates would ever be defeated by a small band of kids.  The fact that Captain Hook should be fine at the end of the movie, he just jumped up into the mouth of a dead crocodile, no harm done.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that only Peter and his kids can fly.  Why can't the rest of the Lost Boys fly?  They all somehow got to Neverland, but once there only Peter seems to have the ability to fly.  Why?  Do the rest of the Lost Boys have no happy thoughts?  That's the only explanation I can think of and if that is the case, that's highly depressing but kind of makes sense.  These kids were abducted and now have to live in a world where they constantly battle pirates to the death.  I would find it difficult to be happy, too.  I guess this means that Peter is actually a murdering psychopath and enjoys murdering pirates and that is why he still has the ability to have happy thoughts which is extremely disturbing now that I think about it.  I am not okay with that.

"Yup, they were all abducted from their families and now live in a world were they murder pirates for a living."

NOKW - X-Men: First Class

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  X-Men: First Class

Basic Plot:  The origin story of some of your favorite mutants back when Magneto and Professor X were friends and the world still didn't know about mutants.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that young Professor X had a full head of hair.  The fact that January Jones was really bad in this movie, how did she get cast?  I guess they saw their error and that's why she isn't in Days of Future Past.  The fact that I still don't know what the hell Kevin Bacon's mutant power was because it seemed to range from kind of lame to incredibly destructive for no reason.  The fact that young Magneto was a badass and they should make a movie about him going around the world hunting Nazis.    The fact the government seemed to be scared of the mutants and yet still had a facility for them to hang out.  The fact that the only good guy mutant who dies was black.  The fact that Magneto really did have a point of wanting to kill all the humans who tried to blow them up at the end of the movie.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Beast wanted to give Mystique a shot that would make her "normal", but in actuality, it would have taken away her mutant ability while his would still work.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, there is a scene where Beast makes a formula which he thinks will make Mystique and himself look normal.  However, making Mystique look normal would have resulted in her no longer being able to shape shift and yet he would have still been really strong and whatever else his mutant ability is.  Thankfully, she turned it down.  But he didn't, it backfired, and turned him into a furry blue monster.  Actually, I am okay with that, but the fact that she would have been robbed of her mutant ability because Beast is a dick?  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that she is virtually naked and yet I'm not turned on.  There is nothing left to the imagination and I still feel robbed somehow."

NOKW - Kill Bill

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2

Basic Plot:  The story of one woman who wants to Kill Bill, hence the title of the movie.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that Bill wanted to murder Bride for leaving their group, failed, and then didn't finish the job when he could, what kind of murdering asshole are you, Bill?  The fact that Taratino didn't want us to know the Bride's name until the end of the movie for no reason.  The fact that even though Pulp Fiction was really awesome, I still think that Kill Bill Vol. 1 was my favorite Taratino movie.  The fact that Bride sat in the Pussy Wagon for hours and no one came looking for her after murdering the owner of said Pussy Wagon.  The fact that a hospital would let a guy who owns a truck he named the Pussy Wagon work at their hospital.  The fact that Bride's legs don't work after being in a coma, but her arms work just fine even though they suffered the same amount of apathy.  The fact that Lucy Liu somehow hasn't aged a day since this movie.  The fact that if you are the last 5 people in this fight, why would you try and go after her, she just murdered nearly 100 people single-handed and you think you and a couple friends can take her down?  The fact that Vol. 2 was such a letdown after that final fight scene in Vol. 1.  The fact that Bride was able to break out of coffin and climb through the dirt to safety.  The fact that Bride survived a shotgun blast to the chest.  The fact that I really don't understand how that heart exploding technique works, and for that matter, if you never take the necessary 5 or 10 steps, would it kill you?

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Bride/Kiddo isn't the most wanted person in the world after murdering about 100 people in a nightclub.  And not just murdering these people, she severed limbs, gutted, stabbed, and decapitated them.  Sure, if I was the authorities I might be a little scared of a woman who could kill that many people by herself.  But then again, a gun beats a sword any day. And it's not like they didn't know what she looked like, there were witnesses to her massacre meaning they had someone who could describe a 6 ft blood woman.  How many 6 ft blond women could there be in Japan?  So, this means that when Bride gets on the next airplane, they should have been able to track her movements.  But no, other than at the beginning of the first movie, we never see another cop in either movie again and Bride gets away with murdering A LOT of people.  I am not okay with that.

"Yup, she murdered all of those people and totally got away with it."

NOKW - Pacific Rim

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Pacific Rim

Basic Plot:  Giant robots fight giant monsters.  Enough said.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that building giant robots was humanity's first thought when it came to defeating giant monsters.  The fact that this movie wasn't that bad except for the fact that nothing happens for an hour between awesome fight scenes.  The fact that anyone lives anywhere near the Pacific Rim when a new giant monster shows up every few weeks to destroy a city.  The fact that the whole two pilot/mind-melding thing still doesn't make sense.  The fact that the robot pilots are all supposed to be really good fighters when their robots can't do anything remotely close to their fighting style.  The fact that I don't understand how the humans can put the monsters into categories as soon as they come out of The Breach.  The fact that the bad guys can so easily keep creating their giant monsters when something that size would take decades to grow, hell, they even point out that the giant monsters can get pregnant.  The fact that the giant robots seem to be too easily defeated and have too many weak spots.  The fact that the giant robots' cockpits can be knocked around so easily which has to make it impossible to fight a giant monster when it is constantly knocking them around.  The fact that the giant robots were flown around by helicopters and yet heavy enough to do battle with giant monsters.  The fact that if a giant robot picked up a large boat to use as a weapon, that boat would snap in half before the robot even tried to swing it, even though it did look really cool.  The fact that I love Charlie Day (of It's Always Sunny fame), but he was terrible in this movie.  The fact that I can't figure out why the first giant monsters didn't come equipped with acid spit and EMP.  The fact that the humans didn't just dump millions of tons of concrete on top of The Breach and block the bad guys from ever getting through.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that it would be way more cost effective to just build a bunch of giant weapons to blow up the giant monsters than it would be to build giant robots that carry giant weapons anyways.  It never crossed their minds that building a bunch of plasma cannons every few miles along the coast would be cheaper and way more effective than building giant robots?  Seriously, it pisses me off even more that the giant robots would even engage the giant monsters in combat when they generally just shoot the things anyways.  Why not just stand back and shoot it from afar?  And if you are going to do that, why build giant robots in the first place?  Nothing about the humans "Giant Robot" project makes any sense other than to create a cool concept for a movie.  I am not okay with that.

"And if your giant robot has a giant sword, why not just wield it at the beginning of the fight?"

NOKW - 300

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  300

Basic Plot:  The story of a bunch of scantily clad dudes killing a bunch of bad guys.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that these guys are considered hardcore warriors and yet fight in nothing but glorified speedos and a cape.  The fact that Spartan kids are not traumatized after going through their warrior upbringing.  The fact that Leonidas would just kick a dude down a well for delivering a message.  The fact that Michael Fassbender, aka the young Magneto, is in this movie.  The fact that Lena Headley, aka Cersai Lannister, plays Leonidas' wife in this movie.  The fact that even though I know this is based on a graphic novel, having monsters part of the fight makes no sense of a real historical event.  The fact that anyone would be okay with hauling their leader around on a super huge, super heavy throne.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that there are more than 300 guys.  Yup, there were more than 300, therefore the title is a lie.  As soon as our title group sets off, they run into some Arcadians and Greeks who join their army.  You remember the scene, it's where Leonidas asks them what profession each one is, they respond things like baker and farmer, and then he asks his group what profession they are and they all yell something that I assume means warrior.  So, what does 300 plus another group of guys equal?  More than 300.  I am not okay with that.

NOKW - Wanted

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Wanted

Basic Plot:  I'm not entirely sure, but Professor X is recruited to be an elite assassin and has to kill his dad for some stupid reason.

I'm Okay With:  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that I don't know where to begin.  The fact that Professor X is so damned whiny and I want to punch his character in the dick.  The fact that they don't seem to understand how physics work, bullets should not be able to do that.  The fact that I still don't know why Morgan Freeman agreed to do this movie.  The fact that they possess a magic elixir that heals all wounds in days and the rest of the world has yet to stumble upon this.  The fact that I forgot Chris Pratt is in this movie.  The fact that the age difference between Professor X and Angelina was clearly obvious and I don't why they thought that would make for a good love interest plot.  The fact that at no point are the cops called despite there being approximately a million gun fights.  The fact that the plot is beyond dumb.  The fact that Professor X at one point runs through a room in a straight line with 30 people all shooting at him at close range and not only is he not hit once, but he kills all of them.  The fact that a dude is able to deflect bullets with a knife.  The fact that I still don't know why Angelina killed everyone of the other assassins and herself at the end.

"Angelina Jolie is 39 years old, but she looks a lot older to me and this movie was made 6 years ago."

NOKW - Unbreakable

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Unbreakable

Basic Plot:  The origin story of a superhuman through the eyes of M. Night Shamalamadingdong..

I'm Okay With:  The fact that nothing seems to happen in this movie other than Bruce Willis and Princess Buttercup staring at each other in silence a lot.  The fact that Bruce Willis doesn't become one of the most recognizable people in the world after being the only survivor of a train crash.  The fact that Bruce Willis doesn't resent the hell out of his wife for taking away the one good thing he is really good at, that being football.  The fact that Bruce Willis hasn't figured out that he is a superhuman earlier in his life.  The fact that Bruce Willis is not only super strong and invincible, but also can read people's minds and yet Mr. Glass is just super fragile and a nerd.  The fact that Mr. Glass couldn't come up with a better way of finding his opposite other than killing hundreds and hundreds of people.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Samuel L. Jackson's character, Elijah, breaks a bone every time he falls down but somehow orchestrates numerous terrorist plots, resulting in hundreds of deaths, in the hopes of finding a superhuman.  In other words, how did the cops not figure out that he was their suspect earlier?  He must have had help blowing up a building and causing a train crash because he is a fragile guy and would risk his health if he did it alone.  There is a reason they call him Mr. Glass.  But let's say he did do it alone.  The problem with that is that he is a pretty noticeable guy.  He even dresses like a villain   I would think that a weird looking dude that just so happens to be seen at a couple of massive accidents would come up in a police report.  But no, they cops are apparently idiots and a guy who can't even walk down a set of stairs without worrying about ending up in the hospital gets away with it.  I am not okay with that.

"I'm fairly certain a guy like this would stand out."

NOKW - LotR 1

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Basic Plot:  The first movie in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Ring trilogy where we meet all of the characters and the quest gets underway.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that I'm fairly certain that I have watched this movie more than any other movie ever.  The fact that in the opening battle scene, Sauron puts his one weakness into harm's way and promptly gets his fingers cut off and explodes.  The fact that as soon as Bilbo gives up the ring, he starts to look his true age, but Gollum was already 500 years old when he lost the ring and yet didn't age a day in-between losing the ring and showing up in this movie.  The fact that the instant Frodo puts on the ring, Sauron is able to find him, but when Bilbo put it on a couple days before, nothing happens.  The fact that the Nazgul can sense the ring and yet can't ever seem to find it.  The fact that half of the fellowship was comprised of hobbits, the most useless of the group.  The fact that even though Gandalf is a badass, a Balrog should have easily kicked his ass.  The fact that Sean Bean dies in the most glorious of fashion of any of his 25 movie deaths.  The fact that Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli just let two worthless hobbits proceed to Mordor on their own.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that during the opening scene we see Sauron wearing the Ring of Power on the battlefield and he isn't invisible.  Everyone that wears the ring throughout the movie instantly turns invisible when they put it on and yet Sauron doesn't.  Sure, he made it and can probably control it, but wouldn't it make even more sense for him to be invisible during a huge battle?  He could run around and decimate his foes with his kick-ass mace, but no, his ego got in the way and he stayed visible and look where that got him.  I am not okay with that.

"You have two options here, Sauron.  1) Use your other non-ring wearing hand to kill the dude who has a sword nearby or 2) go invisible and murder him.  You decided to go with option 3 and look how that turned out."

NOKW - Waterworld

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Waterworld

Basic Plot:  Who the hell cares.

I'm Okay With:  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that it is 500 years in the future and the salt water hasn't rusted every floating settlement into dissolved lumps on the bottom of the ocean.  The fact that if your boat/floating home breaks, there are no raw materials to make repairs and yet people are still alive after 500 years.  The fact that humans could evolve enough to have gills in only a few generations.  The fact that someone can sail a world that is nothing but an ocean and find anyone else considering that all of the floating "cities" would be constantly moving around.  The fact that people can live off of a diet of nothing but fish.  The fact that everyone seems so dirty and yet they live on top of a world that is nothing but water.  The fact that I've already done one of these for this movie.  The fact that the future's biggest commodity is dirt which can't really be used for much.  The fact that any and all water filters have not turned into mush.  The fact that Kevin Costner is able to be swallowed by a giant see monster and live.  The fact that giant sea monsters exist so quickly after the Earth was covered in water.  The fact that the bad guys seem to have a never-ending supply of cigarettes.  The fact that it is 500 years in the future and there is still enough gasoline to fuel the bad guys' jet-skis.  The fact that during the final scene, three jet-skis speed towards that little girl from three directions and at no point try to slow down resulting in a giant explosion, what did they expect would happen?  The fact that no one happened upon the only piece of land in 500 years.  The fact that this movie cost $200 million and I still don't where in the hell that money went.

"Seriously, it's 500 years in the future and they still have gas for their jet-skis.  How?!?"

NOKW - Oblivion

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Oblivion

Basic Plot:  Tom Cruise repairs drones that help protect giant turbines that sit in Earth's oceans which supposedly sends energy to a human colony on Titan.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that the only reason I picked this movie is because it debuted on HBO recently and also that it was actually pretty good.  The fact that I totally called the plot of this movie based off the trailer before it even came out in theaters.  The fact that that graphic of our destroyed moon was impressive looking.  The fact that Tom Cruise's house isn't structurally sound considering it is sitting hundreds of feet in the air and only has a single poll holding it up, a strong breeze should knock that thing down.  The fact that the satellite the bad guy uses seems to be able to see everything early in the movie and then they don't seem to use it when it would help the most later on.  The fact that the alien space pyramid doesn't bother to shoot down Tom Cruise's wife's space ship as it's approaching Earth.  The fact that the aliens he sees on Earth are never explained.  The fact that the alien in space is never explained.  The fact that Tom Cruise's wife seems to be okay with banging whichever Tom Cruise clone is still alive at the end of the movie.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that the bad guy doesn't seem to want Tom Cruise to know that he is a clone even though we find out later that an army of Tom Cruise clones attacked Earth.  If you haven't seen this movie (and I don't blame you), then what we know is that Tom Cruise and his lady partner are supposed to stay only within a certain range of their home because the Earth is supposedly radioactive.  However, it turns out that the radioactive part is just another Tom Cruise clone's territory and the bad guy doesn't want them to find out that they are clones and uses the radioactive excuse as the reason to accomplish this.  But the kicker is that we find out later that after the bad guy destroyed Earth's moon (which really messed things up), he/she sent down an army of Tom Cruise clones to take out any surviving humans.  So, my problem is, if the bad guy sent down thousands of Tom Cruise clones all at once, then why can't the current clones know that they are clones?  Nothing about this logic makes sense and it really bugged me as I was watching the movie.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that the villain looks like this and has a female voice, symbolism anybody?"

NOKW - Man of Steel

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Man of Steel

Basic Plot:  You know, an alien kid grows up on Earth, has superpowers, saves humanity, and falls in love with a chick that is easily a decade older than him.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that they try really really hard for you to notice that they are comparing Superman to Jesus.  The fact that Superman having X-ray vision kind of makes sense, but the laser eyes always confused me.  The fact that a 15,000 year old Krypton ship just so happens to have a suit that fits Clark perfectly and has his family's symbol on it.  The fact that the bad guys' suits are bulletproof for no reason.  The fact that every time Superman gets in a fight with the bad guys he seems to destroy more stuff than he saves.  The fact that Metropolis literally no longer exists after that machine destroyed virtually the entire city.  The fact that the military would allow Lois to ride along in a military aircraft during a critical mission.  The fact that Lois is many miles away from the train station where Superman kills Zod after the final fight scene but somehow she shows up there in less than a minute.  The fact that it was so easy for Superman to kill an indestructible Zod.  The fact that Superman still doesn't seem to understand that putting on a pair of glasses isn't a disguise.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that they go out of their way to show you that when Zod loses his helmet in his first fight with Superman that all of the superpowers he receives from Earth's sun hit him at once and yet right after that, Superman has to fight two other bad guys that already have super-strength and are near invincible while still wearing their full suits.  That is a large contradiction.  Right before this fight scene, we are shown that Superman loses his powers while he is on the bad guys' ship because it uses Krypton's atmospheric conditions, you know the exact same thing that the bad guys' armor/helmet is doing.  They strap down Superman to a table and he can't bust himself out until his holographic father takes over the ship and pumps the Earth's atmosphere throughout the ship and Superman then breaks his bonds with his super strength.  So, how is that the bad guys are super strong during this fight, but don't suffer from the onslaught of the rest of the superpowers hitting them at once.  If anything, they should just be normal Kryptonians in armor and not be super fast and super strong.  And yet, they are super strong/fast and kick a bunch of soldiers' asses.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that this suit of armor kind of turned me on."

NOKW - Godzilla

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Godzilla (1998)

Basic Plot:  A crappy movie about a giant lizard.

I'm Okay With:  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that they cast Matthew Broderick as the lead in a Godzilla movie.  The fact that Godzilla thought New York was the perfect place to create its nest and not some deserted island.  The fact that they couldn't find Godzilla during the chase scenes considering it is a 300-foot tall lizard.  The fact that the mayor of New York kept complaining about having to evacuate the city even though it was being destroyed by a giant monster.  The fact that this movie was just a blatant attempt to cash in on the Jurassic Park success.  The fact that Godzilla was able to burrow under the city so easily considering its size.  The fact that Godzilla was able to lay so many eggs in such a short period of time.  The fact that the baby Godzillas were nothing but Velociraptor rip-offs.  The fact that the baby Godzillas were so easily foiled by a floor covered in gumballs.  The fact that Godzilla somehow was able to lay an egg inside of Madison Square Garden's locker room.  The fact that this movie sucked so hard that Hollywood thought remaking another American version would be a good idea.

"The fact that they made Godzilla look nothing like Godzilla."

NOKW - Thor

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Thor

Basic Plot:  This is the origin story of Marvel's superhero Thor.  That should wrap it up.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that I actually thought this movie wasn't half bad.  The fact that I've always found it weird that an old Norse god is a Marvel superhero.  The fact that Thor wears his signature winged helmet for roughly three seconds in this movie.  The fact that I'm not ashamed to say that Chris Hemsworth is one good looking dude.  The fact that one of the Norse gods is Asian.  The fact that the frost giant race doesn't really seem to be a threat whatsoever considering they can't leave their shitty frozen planet without outside help, so why bother fighting them.  The fact that Thor and his pals thought it would be a good idea to go to the frost giant world by themselves and start a fight.  The fact that the robot used in this movie seems to be a rip-off of the one from The Day the Earth Stood Still.  The fact that SHIELD stealing all of Natalie Portman's research makes sense, but stealing all of her research equipment makes little sense.  The fact that the funniest two lines in the movie were Hawkeye's only two lines in the movie.  The fact that the movie ends with Thor not being able to go back to Earth and see Natalie Portman, but he has no troubles showing up on Earth in The Avengers.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Loki is supposed to be a frost giant and yet he is the smallest person in Asgard.  It's right there in his people's name.  Giant.  Every time they show a frost giant, it is huge.  And yet, Loki is tiny compared to them even though he is one of them.  On top of that, he is not only a frost giant, but the son of the king of frost giants.  So, is Loki big and strong like his dad?  Nope.  He is small and fairly puny despite being a full grown adult   He's even smaller than all of the women in Asgard..  Sure, he isn't blue like his brethren, but that is probably because he doesn't live in a frozen wasteland of a planet.  However, that doesn't explain why he isn't at least taller than everyone else in Asgard.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that this guy was the best character in the movie (other than Loki) and he didn't get enough screen time."