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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Movie Remake Ideas

Last week, I wrote about some movie sequels that should be made.  This week we will be looking at a couple of remakes that have some potential:

  • Zorro - It turns out that I wrote this idea down in my notebook and then learned that they actually are making a Zorro reboot.  So, maybe I do know what I'm talking about.....then I read that the Zorro reboot would involve the title character traveling to a futuristic post-apocalyptic world.  What?!?  That's not Zorro.  Zorro is Antonio Banderas running around making jokes and sword-fighting, not a Zorro that does parkour in slow-motion.  For some reason I watch the Banderas' Zorro movies every time they come on and I'm already pissed that a reboot is being made that takes everything about those movies, throws it out the window, and creates a steaming pile of shit instead.  Shame on you, Hollywood.
  • Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A lot of people didn't like the version they made awhile back that starred the Hobbit and The New Girl, but I actually liked it.  I love the books and I know it's really hard to translate how funny the books are to the big screen, but they really should give it another go, the premise is just to good.  Maybe it would be a better idea to just make the sequel, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (which if you haven't read the books, is literally a restaurant that allows its diners to watch the universe end and not on the edge of the universe).  Either way, I really want another Hitchhiker's Guide movie.
  • Gremlins - I'm actually somewhat shocked that they haven't remade this movie already.  However, I'm afraid that if they do remake it, they will screw it up and make it more of a horror movie and not as silly as the first one.  If they do remake it (and we all know they will), they better stick to script of the first one and make it more funny than scary.
  • Point Break - Oh wait, they already did this one, but instead of surfing, it was street racing and instead of Keanu Reaves, it was Paul Walker (I wrote this before he died.  RIP Paul) and was called The Fast and the Furious and somehow spawned six sequels.  Never mind.  (Side Note - they actually are remaking this and Gerard Butler will be playing Patrick Swayze's character)
  • He-Man - It's about damn time they gave us a He-Man movie that didn't suck as bad as the 1987 Dolph Lundgren version.  Sure, He-Man is pretty dated and nobody but middle age guys will actually know who he is, but I don't care, I want to see this movie.
  • The Neverending Story - With today's CGI, a remake of this movie would look pretty amazing.  Could you imagine a Rockbiter and a Falkor whose lips actually match the dialogue?  On top of that, they can cast an actor that isn't as annoying as the original Bastian.  I would definitely go see a remake of this movie.

"To this day, I still don't know how he was able to stop that thing on a dime like he did."

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