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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Movie Sequels, Prequels, and More - Part 10

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original.  In this case, we will be looking at all of the video games that are in production to become movies:

  • Pet Cemetery - I never saw the first or second Pet Cemetery, but because Hollywood seems to be obsessed with remaking classic horror movies, we are getting another stupid remake.
  • Peter Pan x 3 - Yup, not one, not two, but three Peter Pan movies are in production.  Hilariously, all three will focus on the origins of the guy in green tights.  You would think that if one was already being made, the other two studios would rethink making the exact same movie.  But Hollywood is stupid and we are getting three.
  • Tarzan - Apparently the blond vampire from True Blood will be playing the title character in this movie.  Do we need another Tarzan?  Nope.  Does Hollywood seem to care that we don't need another Tarzan?  Hell no.
  • Naked Gun - Why?!?  There is no way to remake this movie and make it better.  Leslie Nelson is irreplaceable and how Hollywood doesn't see that is beyond.  Ed Helms is taking over the lead role and while he is funny, he is not Leslie Nelson.
  • Shakespeare in Love 2 - Sooooo, Shakespeare finds love again?  This just seems pointless.
  • Rounders 2 - I actually love this idea.  What happened to Mike after he left for Vegas?  Does he strike it big?  Will we see John Malkovich back with that ridiculous accent?  All very good questions and a decent idea for a sequel.
  • The Raid 2 - Actually, I really liked the first movie (The Raid: Redemption).  The fight scenes were incredible and I have high hopes for this movie which is set two hours after the first one ended.
  • The Crow - Did you know that in one of The Crow sequels, there is a scene where Tara Reid pokes Emmanuelle Chriqui's (Sloan from Entourage) eyes out with a knife?  Yeah, that happened.  Anyways, this is a remake of the original starring Luke Evans (Bard from The Hobbit) as Eric Draven.  I loved the original (the sequels not so much), so I might actually watch this one.  Plus I really like Luke Evans for some reason.
  • Swingers 2 - This one makes no sense to me.  The reason the first one worked is because all of the actors were reasonable young at the time, but now Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau are in their 40's and the idea of them picking up chicks in a casino seems wrong.
  • Alice in Wonderland 2 - At first I thought "Why?!?", but then I remembered that the first movie somehow made a billion dollars.  Money blinds logic when it comes to making movies I guess.
"I don't see the resemblance either, but Hollywood apparently does."

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