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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

NOKW - Varsity Blues

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Varsity Blues

Basic Plot:  This movie follows the lives of some high school kids in a small town where football is king and how they eventually rebel against their dick of a head coach during the biggest game of the year.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that this town puts giant cardboard cut-outs of players on that player's lawn.  The fact that the rest of the coaching staff is okay with the head coach forcing his injured players to take  painkillers and play with injuries that will probably result in long-term health problems.  The fact that the team's best wide receiver is not even five and a half feet tall.  The fact that Tweeter steals a cop car while intoxicated then gets naked while driving along with a couple of naked underage girls and is not thrown in jail for a couple of years.  The fact that James Van Der Beek's character thinks he can actually get an academic scholarship to Brown.  The fact that the evil head coach actually thinks he has the kind of clout to be able to take away that scholarship.  The fact that a guy, especially a horny high school guy, would turn down a hot chick wearing nothing but whip cream.  The fact that one of the teachers in a small town is able to work as a stripper and no one knows about her part-time job.  The fact that this movie was made in 1999 and the writers of this teen movie realized concussions were dangerous and the NFL didn't recognize this fact until a decade later.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that after halftime of the final game and the evil head coach walks out of the locker room alone, the team goes back out of the field and the injured quarterback takes over play calling even though one of the assistant coaches should have been the one to assume the coaching duties.  Seriously, where in the hell did all of the assistant coaches go?  We know that the team mutinies against the evil head coach and we know this because he leaves the locker room all by himself.  The keyword being alone, so what happened the rest of the coaching staff?  When the team takes the field after halftime, they do so without any of the other coaches, but why?  It's not like the team hated the assistant coaches, they just hated the evil head coach because he was a dick and deserved what he had coming, but that doesn't mean the rest of the coaches should just hand over the play calling to a bunch of high school kids in the biggest game of the year.  If anything, they should have told the injured quarterback to shut the hell up and sit his ass on the bench and they certainly would not have called that ridiculous fumblerooski that magically won the game.  I am not okay with that.

"Do you see any coaches?  I don't."

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