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Monday, April 22, 2013

NOKW - MIB 3

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Men in Black 3

Basic Plot:  The unnecessary sequel in the Men in Black franchise.  This time J goes back in time in order to reverse the death of his partner K at the hands of Boris the Animal....I think.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that only one movie has ever successfully pulled off a movie about time travel that didn't contradict itself at every turn, and that movie was not this one, it was Austin Powers.  The fact that the moon guards at the beginning of the movie should have just killed Boris the Animal as soon as they saw him trying to break out of prison instead of just waiting for him to escape.  The fact that whenever an MIB agent uses one of those flashy thingys they always wear sunglasses even though the flashy thing does not flash in their direction.  The fact that Boris the Animal seems to have an endless supply of those killer dart things.  The fact that Josh Brolin literally could be a younger Tommy Lee Jones.  The fact that we know K was a nice guy before the events at Cape Canaveral and became a hardass because of the secret he kept from J about the death of his father and that if J now knows, does that mean K will no longer be the hardass that made him the most feared MIB agent ever?  The fact that there are so many plot holes in this movie that I will spare you them all except the next one.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that this whole thing could have been avoided had J and K thought to ask one of the many aliens at MIB Headquarters to take the ArcNet up to space for them instead of going to Florida where the bad guy was waiting to ambush them.  In case you haven't seen this movie, the whole plot revolved around getting something called the "ArcNet" into space so that it could protect the Earth from Boris the Animal and his evil alien buddies.  Originally, K puts the ArcNet on a Apollo 11 that leaves from Cape Canaveral and he also shoots off Boris's arm and arrests him which is why Boris is determined to go back in time and kill K.  In the future, Boris escapes from jail, goes back in time, and kills K as he attempts to put the ArcNet on the space shuttle.  J then has to go back in time and save K and also succeed in deploying the ArcNet.  However, J knows that K will be killed at Cape Canaveral.  Also, we know that MIB was created solely for the purpose of handling aliens who show up on Earth.  So, then why in the hell didn't J just ask any one of the hundreds of aliens hanging out at MIB to put the ArcNet on any one of their UFOs that they have sitting around?  That would have easily solved all of their problems.  And it's not like they didn't get the ArcNet when they got to Florida, the alien who made it handed to them while they were still in New York.  I am not okay with that.

"No caption needed."

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