Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Feb. 5th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Tim Meadows (54) - The Ladies' Man has a birthday today and when he is leading off this list, you know there were slim pickings.  The good news is that Tim is awesome.
• Cristiano Ronaldo (30) - He plays soccer and is really really good, that's all you need to know.
• Micheal Sheen (46) - You know him from Masters of Sex, or the head werewolf from the first and third Underworld movies.  Did you also know he used to be married to Kate Beckinsale?
• Bobby Brown (46) - I find it amazing that he is the same age as Michael Sheen, but looks at least 30 years older.
• Jennifer Jason Leigh (52) - For some reason I know her name, but I couldn't name a single thing she has been in.  When I looked it up, she apparently was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  So there.
• Hank Aaron (81) - Baseball's true Home Run King is still kicking it at 81.  Being a Braves' fan, this guy is a god to me.
• Sara Foster (34) - Who?  Not important.  She's an actress/model and is hot.  End.

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Jan. 19th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Katey Segal (61) - Who?  She was Peg Bundy, the voice of Leela on Futurama, and currently stars in Sons of Anarchy.  That's who.
• Logan Lerman (23) - This is the guy who played Percy Jackson is those crappy Harry Potter rip-off movies.  However, I will admit I enjoyed them because of Alexandra Daddario.  Look her up, super hot.
• Jodie Sweetin (33) - Remember Stephanie Tanner?  Yup, she's 33 today.  And guess what?  Apparently, there is a Full House "revival" in the works.  About time.
• Dolly Parton (69) - How do you think she feels that whenever anyone thinks of her, the first thing that comes to mind are her boobs?
• Paula Deen (68) - Everyone's favorite racist is still going strong and still trying to kill her viewers, one artery-clogging dish at a time.
• Drea de Matteo (43) - She played Christopher's girlfriend on The Sopranos and is currently on Sons of Anarchy with Katey Segal.  I've never seen that show, but I heard it's pretty good.
• Edgar Allen Poe (Deceased) - The original goth would have had a birthday today if he hadn't have passed away.  Oh, and was able to live to 205 years old.  It's possible, right?

"Stephanie Tanner sure has grown up.  Look at those.....uh.....eyes."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Jan 5th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Bradley Cooper (40) - Every time I see this guy, I always remember him from Wedding Crashers.  Such a dick in that movie, but it turns out that first impressions are not true.  Pretty cool dude.
• Marilyn Manson (46) - My favorite thing about this guy is that people think he is the nerdy kid from The Wonder Years.  Nope, but I can see why people think that though.
• January Jones (37) - She plays Don Drapper's wife on Mad Men and played Emma Frost in X-Men: First Class.  She's easy on the eyes, but not a particularly good actress.
• Diane Keaton (69) - Remember when she was in classics like The Godfather and Annie Hall?  Yup, over the past decade she has made us forget all about those years with movies like Something's Gotta Give and The Family Stone.  What happened?
• Robert Duvall (84) - Another Godfather alum but this one is still giving us good work.  He recently starred opposite Iron Man in The Judge.  Didn't see it, but heard good things.
• Vinnie Jones (50) - Love this guy.  He hasn't done much worth a shit recently, but did you know his first three movies were Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Gone in Sixty Seconds, and Snatch?  That's pretty damn solid.
• Kristin Cavallari (28) - I'm never seen The Hills, but if I did, she would have been my favorite.  Why?  Easy question, she was the hottest.
• Oscar Isaac (35) - I can honestly say that I have never seen anything he has been in that I know of, but I still know who he is for some reason.  The good news is that he will be in the Star Wars movie, so that streak will end soon.
• George Reeves (Deceased) - The original Superman suffered a similar fate as Christopher Reeves, except George died via a bullet.  Does this mean Brandon Routh and Henry Cavill are doomed, too?

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Dec 8th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Kim Basinger (61) - Do you realize that the first Michael Keaton Batman came out 25 years ago?  And now you feel as old as Kim Basinger.  You're welcome.
• Dominic Monaghan (38) - Our favorite hobbit Merry from The Lord of the Rings/Charlie from Lost has a birthday today.  Good for him.
• Ian Somerhalder (36) - Another Lost alum.  He played Boone, you know, that guy who died really early on in the series and had that really annoying sister.  Also, it kind of pissed me off as I went to look him up and when I typed "Ian" into IMDB, his name came up first before Ian McKellen.  Somehow that seems wrong to me.
• AnnaSophia Robb (21) - Basically if you need a cute blond chick for something and can't afford Dakota Fanning, she is your go-to gal.  Trust me, you know who she is.
• Teri Hatcher (50) - I can't believe she is turning 50 today.  Where has the time gone?
• Nicki Minaj (32) - I only included her because I wanted to say that I don't know why she is famous.  Seriously, what does she do for a living?  I have no idea and it bugs me that I know who she is.
• Jim Morrison (Deceased) - Other than being the lead singer for The Doors, the only other thing I know about this guy is that he is buried in Paris for some reason.  Knowledge is Power!
• David Carradine (Deceased) - Bill from Kill Bill would have had a birthday today if it wasn't for, you know, that whole choking to death while getting off thing.  That was really awkward to type.

"I told you know who she is, and no, that isn't Dakota Fanning.  Also, don't worry, she may look 14, but she is old enough to drink legally as of today."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Nov. 17th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Rachel McAdams (36) - You probably know her from The Notebook if you are a lady or from Wedding Crashers if you are a dude.  Either way, I have a huge crush on this lovely Canadian.
• Danny DeVito (70) - This guy has done so much over his career but every time I see him, I can't picture anything but his role as the Penguin from Batman Returns.  However, I am loving his character on Always Sunny in Philadelphia right now.
• Marin Scorsese (72) - It's amazing to think of how many incredible movies this guy has made and yet he has only won one Academy Award, and that was for The Departed which probably isn't even one of his Top 5 of best movies.
• Lorne Michaels (70) - The man behind Saturday Night Live turns 70 today but he doesn't look a day over 60.  Also, am I the only person who still watches that show every week?  Personally, I still think it's really funny.
• Leslie Bibb (40) - You may not recognize the name, but you know her.  She played the chick who Tony Stark banged at the beginning of the first Iron Man movie.
• Dylan Walsh (51) - The only reason he made this list is because I used to be a big fan of Nip/Tuck, at least until it got really weird in the later seasons.
• RuPaul (54) - Ah yes, RuPaul.  What can I say about this.....person?  Nothing without sounding racist or sexist, so I will say nothing.

"Damn those beautiful hands from robbing me from seeing those beautiful boobs."

Famous Bens

In honor of my little brother Ben's 30th birthday, I made a fun list of famous people also named Ben.  Enjoy:

• Ben Affleck - This Ben has had his ups (Good Will Hunting, Argo) and downs (Daredevil, Gigli), but his career is coming around again.  Let's just hope he doesn't screw up Batman.
• Ben Stiller - Love this guy.  Sure, he's made some crappy movies recently, but all I have to do is watch Zoolander again and I am in love all over again.
• Ben Kinglsey - This guy has had such a weird career.  He's been nominated for four Oscars, but he's also been in movies like Prince of Persia and The Love Guru, so I don't really don't know what to make of him.
• Ben Stein - "Bueller.  Bueller.  Bueller."  Enough said.
• Ben Savage - Remember him?  Fred's little brother and that kid from Boy Meets World.  No?  Oh well.
• Ben Whishaw - Who?  He's the guy currently playing Q in the James Bond franchise.  So far I like his take on the part.  Not as goofy as the original (and a ton younger), but good nonetheless.
• Ben Foster - I had to include this guy because that is my brother's name, too.  If you don't know who he is, he played Angel in that crappy third X-Men movie and was recently in Lone Survivor.  Spoiler Alert - He wasn't the lone survivor.
• Ben Roethlisberger - Two-time Super Bowl Champion QB for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  That's about it.
• Ben McKenzie - If you don't know this guy, that's okay, but he is currently playing Jim Gordon on the new FOX show Gotham which I highly suggest checking out.
• Benjamin Guinness - My brother works for a brewery so I felt it appropriate to include the founder of the Guinness Brewery, even if that stuff is pretty gross.
• Benedict Cumberbatch - I know this is cheating, but I love this guy.  Everything he does is gold, from Sherlock to Star Trek to The Hobbit.  Keep it up, buddy.

"His voice just doesn't match that body, but I don't care, he's awesome."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Oct. 20th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Snoop Dogg (43) - When was the last time Snoop was relevant?  I honestly don't know, but he keeps sticking around somehow.
• Viggo Mortensen (56) - It's always funny to see Aragorn in other movies.  Don't get me wrong, he is an incredible actor, but it was still somewhat of shock when I saw him in Young Guns 2.
• John Krasinski (35) - Jim from The Office hasn't done much since that show left the air, but the good news is that this lovable guy is going to be in a Cameron Crowe movie with Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, and the incredible Bill Murray.  So, he does have that going for him.
• Tom Petty (64) - I still say that his concert was the best I have ever been to.  Of course, my favorite part was when he went backstage to get high (again) before the encore.
• Danny Boyle (58) - You don't know the name, but you know his work.  He has directed Slumdog Millionaire, 127 Hours, and 28 Days Later, which are three movies that couldn't be any less related if they tried.  Kind of impressive actually.
• Mickey Mantle (Deceased) - One of the greatest baseball players ever and might have been in the discussion for best ever if he had laid off of the booze during his playing days.
• Candice Swanepoel (26) - Who?  Doesn't matter, look at her down there.

"I really hope that picture isn't photo-shopped, because Wow."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Sept 29th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Zachary Levi (34) - It's not a good day for celebrity birthdays when the guy from Chuck leads the way.  I really liked this guy, so why hasn't he done anything else since his show went off the air?
• Calvin Johnson (29) - The best WR in the NFL turns 29 today.  Fun Fact - he is the reason I don't let wins and losses affect me as much as they used to after he torched Clemson his freshman year at Georgia Tech.
• Ian McShane (72) - You may know him from his time on Deadwood or as Blackbeard from that crappy fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  I love this guy and I wish Hollywood would notice how awesome he truly is.
• Mackenzie Crook (43) - I know you don't know his name, but you definitely know this guy.  He played the pirate with the crazy eye in Pirates of the Caribbean and a little know fact, he played the the same character as Dwight on the original British version of The Office.
• Andrew Dice Clay (57) - Remember him?  Me neither, but I'm glad to see he is still getting work even if it is doing the voice of a hamster on a phone commercial.
• Bryant Gumbel (66) - The first guy that made it okay for black guys to act white (no racist).
• Russell Peters (44) - Before the most recent season of Last Comic Standing, I had never heard of this guy.  But he was easily the funniest of the three judges on the show and I will definitely watch anything he is in from now on.

"I know it's not this lovely lady's birthday, but showing a picture of her is way more satisfying then showing a picture of one the dudes above.  By the way, does anyone know who this is?  I stumbled upon her picture, fell in love, but have no idea who she is."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Aug 25th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Sean Connery (84) - The first and best James Bond is getting up there.  It's still sad that the last movie he did was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and that's only because he passed on playing Gandolf in The Lord of the Rings.  In the end, I think Ian McKellen was the better choice though.  Gandolf with a Scottish accent doesn't seem right to me.
• Regis Philbin (83) - I find it amazing that Regis is younger than Sean Connery.  He looks years older.  Then again, Connery has looked about 80 for the past 30 years.
• Tim Burton (56) - Oddly enough, Tim's next movie does not star Johnny Depp.  Is that possible?
• Blake Lively (27) - The Green Lantern sucked and Blake was pretty bad in it, but damn it, she is easy on the eyes and I forgive her for her role in that disaster.
• Alexander Skarsgard (38) - My favorite piece of trivia about True Blood's tall blond vampire Eric is that he was in Zoolander.  He played one of Zoolander's buddies that died in the gasoline fight.
• Billy Ray Cyrus (53) - Miley's dad recently had a cameo in Sharknado 2.  I think he played a doctor.  It's amazing how the fame of your daughter can get you parts in crappy SyFy movies.
• Rachel Bilson (33) - I have a confession to make.  I've seen every season of The O.C.  Yup, I watched every episode, even the last few crappy seasons.
• Kel Mitchell (36) - Remember him?  He was on Nickelodeon's Kenan and Kel.  I haven't seen him since then other than a small part in that underrated movie, Mystery Men.  And yet, his counterpart Kenan is now on SNL.  Where did things go wrong for him?
• Claudia Schiffer (44) - You gotta admit that she is still hot for a 44 year old.

"And here is the reason I watched every season of The O.C.  Personally, I think that's a damn good reason.  Screw you for judging me."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - Aug 7th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Charlize Theron (39) - Considering she will be 40 next year, she is still gorgeous.  I've said it many times and I will repeat it again, Charlize is the most naturally beautiful person in Hollywood and I'm glad that I got to see her naked in that crappy movie, The Devil's Advocate.
• David Duchovny (54) - Agent Mulder is getting up there in age isn't he?  Did you know that he is kind of married (they are separated due to David's apparent sex addiction) to Tea Leoni?  Nice pull, Dave.
• Michael Shannon (40) - Some know him as Nelson Van Alden from Boardwalk Empire, others know him as General Zod from the most recent Superman movie.  Either way, he is still one ugly looking dude.
• Wayne Knight (59) - NEWMAN!!!!
• Mike Trout (23) - Yeah, two-time AL MVP runner-up (and probably should have won both) is only 23!  Does it piss you off that he just signed a 6 year/$144.5 million contract at that age?  Not fair.
• Sidney Crosby (27) - The next Wayne Gretzky is 27, which is supposedly the prime age for athletes.  Well, I guess we can stop calling him the next Wayne Gretzky.  Sidney is good but he is no Great One.
• Carl 'Alfalfa' Switzer (Deceased) - He died when he was only 31.  In fact, I read somewhere that most of the original cast of The Little Rascals died tragic deaths while they were still young.  I guess that show was cursed.

"So hot for a 39 year old."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - July 24th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Anna Paquin (32) - Trueblood is in its last season, so I wonder where Anna's career will go from here.  If I had to guess, it better be on something where we get to see her boobs again.
• Jennifer Lopez (45) - I can't stand this person.  She is decent to look at but has such a bitch vibe to her that I cringe each time I see her.  She can't have that much left in her career, I mean, when you have to become a judge on American Idol, your career is no longer on the upswing, is it?
• Lynda Carter (63) - Oh, Wonder Woman, you are still beautiful in my book no matter how old you are.
• Rose Byrne (35) - The name may not be familiar, but you know her,  She recently played Seth Rogan's wife in Neighbors, and I have to say, she still looks fine for a 35 year old.
• Summer Glau (33) - You know her from the sadly cancelled show Firefly or The Sarah Conner Chronicles.  Fun fact - Sarah Conner was played by Cersei Lannister herself, Lena Headey.
• Barry Bonds (50) - Did the all-time home run king take steroids?  The answer is definitely.  Your hat size doesn't increase by two sizes between seasons without taking something illegal.
• Michael Richards (65) - Kramer is 65.  Amazing.  I bet you thought I was going to make fun of his racist remark, didn't you?  Nope, just his age.
• Gallagher (68) - Is this guy still smashing fruit for a living?  At 68, I wonder if he can still swing that mallet.
• Mara Wilson (27) - The little girl from Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire is 27.  To make that even more upsurd, they are making a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel.  How old does that make you feel?
• Amelia Earhart (32) - How do you get "Airhart" out of the word "Earhart"?  Did people just start calling her that after her pilot fame took off (get it?)?  That's my only explanation.

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - July 10th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Sofia Vergara (42) - Sofia is the same age as Selma Blair which is kind of shocking because Selma looks at least 10 years younger.  However, that doesn't mean that Sofia is any less sexy.
• Jessica Simpson (34) - I still find it funny that the only reason any of us know who Jessica is is because of that reality show where we all learned she is really really dumb.  It just goes to prove that reality show "stars" are talentless and if they didn't get a show, no one would know who they are which should be the case anyways.
• Adrian Grenier (38) - After seeing his name pop up on this list, it has inspired me to write a post about the cast of Entourage and what they have gone on to do since that show ended.  Stay tuned.
• Chiwetel Ejiofor (37) - This guy with an unpronounceable name is the actor from 12 Years A Slave and got nominated for a Best Actor Oscar this year.  That's all I got.
• Urban Meyer (50) - Two-Time National Championship coach with the Florida Tim Tebows is only 50.  That's kind of shocking, it feels like that guy has been around forever.  Oh, and my Clemson Tigers beat his Ohio State Buckeyes in the Orange Bowl this year.  Suck it, Urban!
• Thomas Ian Nicholas (34) - You know this guy, right?  He was the one that had to bang Tara Reid in American Pie, but should be better remembered for his role in Rookie of the Year, one of the few movies where Gary Busey was convincingly not insane.
• Phyllis Smith (63) - You know her as Phyllis Vance from The Office and frankly, I was shocked to see that she was in her mid-60s.  She doesn't look a day over 55.
• Maria Julia Mantilla (30) - Who is she?  I have no idea.  I included her only so I could post that picture below.
• Nikola Tesla (Deceased) - Ah yes, the great and mighty Nikola Tesla.  Did you know that basically all of Thomas Edison's greatest inventions were stolen from this guy?  Yup, Edison was a fraud and he took credit for all of Tesla's work like microwaves, radio, primitive radar systems, and the way we use electricity today.  Seems like a raw deal for Tesla.

"I went with this picture instead of a picture of a fat Jessica Simpson.  I think I chose wisely."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - June 23rd

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Selma Blair (42) - 42?!?  Damn, Cruel Intentions was a long time ago.  Other than the Hellboy movies, we haven't really heard from Selma in awhile, which is a shame because she still looks good.
• Joss Whedon (50) - Joss did the impossible, he made an Avengers movie that was awesome.  On top of his other great projects over the years like Firefly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and the second half of The Agents of SHIELD season, let's hope he continues on doing what he is doing.  However, who names their kid Joss?  What a weird name.
• Randy Jackson (58) - The only original judge of American Idol is still judging American Idol.  Sad, isn't it?  How is that show still on the air?
• Zinedine Zidane (42) - I can't decide if it's awesome or sad that the only thing this guy will ever be remembered for his head-butting a guy during the championship match of the World Cup.  I lean more towards awesome even if his team did end up losing.
• Frances McDormand (56) - She was in Fargo and Almost Famous and was incredible in both.  How has she not gone on to have a bigger career?
• LaDainian Tomlinson (35) - I only include him because every fantasy football player out there remembers him being a beast in their leagues.  I never owned him (not racist), but sure wish I had during his peak years.
• Melissa Rauch (34) - Who?  She plays the little blond with the squeaky voice on The Big Bang Theory.  Other than that, I know nothing about her to praise or ridicule.
• Clarence Thomas (66) - Is this guy still a Supreme Court Judge?  Who cares.

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - June 9th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Johnny Depp (51) - Johnny is 51.  Wow.  Well, 51-year old Johnny Depp's upcoming projects include a 5th Pirates movie and a Alice in Wonderland sequel.  What's next, an Edward Scissorhands sequel?  I just looked, it's not in the works.......yet.
• Natalie Portman (33) - I don't know what to make of Natalie, she's attractive but she is short (I like my women tall) and has a Huge head.  Something tells me that if you met her in person, she wouldn't look anything like you see on the big screen.
• Michael J. Fox (53) - I find it amazing that Michael is actually older than Johnny Depp.  I will always picture him as young Marty McFly.
• Jackie Mason (83) - Apparently this guy was a big time comedian back in the day, but sadly all I remember him for was that horrible Caddyshack sequel.  Also, did you know that his character in that movie was named Jack Hartounian and his character in The Jerk was named Harry Hartounian?  What's up with that?
• Dick Vitale (75) - I hate this guy, but that's mostly because he is a huge Duke basketball homer and I can't stand those cheating bastards.  However, I will admit that I do like his enthusiasm, baby.
• Aaron Sorkin (53) - The mind behind the shows Sports Night, The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and The Newsroom.  I have nothing good or bad to say about this guy.
• David Koepp (51) - Who is David Koepp?  I didn't know who was either until I clicked on his IMDB page, and wow, this guy has a pretty impressive list of screenplay credits.  Jurassic Park and Spider-Man to name a couple.  He's a genius.  Oh wait, he wrote the 4th Indiana Jones, never mind, screw this guy.

"This is 28 year old Amber Heard, aka Johnny Depp's current girlfriend.  He's 51.  How is this fair?"

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - May 26th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• John Wayne (Deceased) - Now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever seen a single movie that The Duke has been in.  Is that even possible?  I guess so.
• Lenny Kravitz (50) - Remember when he used to be know as a singer?  Well, it turns out that he is a pretty decent actor and I actually liked him in The Hunger Games movies.
• Helena Bonham Carter (48) - Also known as Mrs. Tim Burton, because she is in every Tim Burton movie ever and because they are married, but not married, kind of like Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.  Despite being known as that actress in all of Tim Burton's movies, I will always remember her from Fight Club.
• Pam Grier (65) - Other than being in Jackie Brown, I can't name anything else she is been in, plus I somehow always get her confused with Wanda Sykes.  I swear I'm not racist.
• Matt Stone (42) - The co-creator of South Park is still going strong even though he is in his 40's now.  I still say that Baseketball was underrated.
• Brent Musburger (75) - Some know him as the voice of college football, others know him as the guy who discovered Jenn Sterger and Katherine Webb.  Either way, I love the guy, but am slightly pissed that he ditched ESPN for the SEC Network.
• Bobcat Goldthwait (52) - I recently heard an interview that he did and did you know he can't even do the voice he's known for anymore?  It's sad, but good for him for trying to move on from it.  Today, he mostly directs stuff like The Jimmy Kimmel Show.
• Astrid Berges-Frisbey (28) - Who?  She played the sexy mermaid in that piece of crap Pirates of the Caribbean 4.  In fact, she was the only reason to watch that thing.

"Now, imagine her with a fishtail and then you will recognize her."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - May 12th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Emilio Estevez (52) - What in the hell happened to Charlie Sheen's sane brother's career?  The Breakfast Club, Young Guns, The Mighty Ducks.  All great movies.  After that, nothing.  We haven't heard from him again.  What happened?
• Tony Hawk (46) - Tony is still doing his skateboard thing at 46, I guess you gotta do what pays the bills, right?
• Jason Biggs (36) - If you look at his IMDB page, his "Known For" movies are American Pie 1, 2, 3, and 4.  I feel like that pretty much wraps up his entire career.
• Emily Vancamp (28) - Star of the TV show Revenge and recently seen in Captain America 2, but there is just something about her that irks me.  I can't put my finger on it, but I just don't like her.
• Yogi Berra (89) - A Hall of Fame baseball player who might be the most unintentionally funny person ever.  Just click on this link, he says the funniest dumb stuff ever.
• Ving Rhames (55) - Can you name anything he's been in other than Pulp Fiction or a couple Mission: Impossible movies?  If you said Piranha 3D, then you watch really bad movies.
• Malin Akerman (36) - Do you remember the first time you saw this sexy Swede?  I do.  She was flashing her bush in that horrible Ben Stiller movie, The Heartbreak Kid.
• Stephen Baldwin (48) - The third most famous Baldwin brother and the one that I always confuse for the brother that was in Bio-Dome but was actually the one from The Usual Suspects.  (I have just been informed that Stephen was in both Bio-Dome and The Usual Suspects, I'm an idiot)
• Gabriel Byrne (64) - Speaking of The Usual Suspects, Gabriel played the leader of the group, Dean Keaton.  You would have thought this movie catapulted his career to bigger and better things.  Well, you would be wrong, I don't know another movie he is in.
• George Carlin (Deceased) - RIP George, we still miss you.

"Her sex scene in Watchmen is the only reason I know who she is."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - April 24th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Barbra Streisand (72) - She sang "The Wind Beneath My Wings" during the Oscars when they showed who had died in the past year....what is that called?  Something complicated and Latin, I think.  Also, she used to be really really famous, I think.
• Kelly Clarkson (32) - Some may know her as the first American Idol winner.  Others will know her as that fat chick who sings.
• Cedric the Entertainer (50) - Did you know that his middle and last names are not 'The' and 'Entertainer'?  Who is he trying to fool?  Plus, if you have to tell people you are an entertainer, then you obviously are not that entertaining.
• Chipper Jones (42) - If they were to make a Mount Rushmore for my Atlanta Braves, I'm fairly certain Chipper's head would be right beside Hank Aaron.  Also, I bet he could still hit better than about 50% of the league right now.
• Aidan Gillen (44) - Otherwise know as Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish from Game of Thrones.  In the books, his character never came off as wimpy, but way more devious.
• Djimon Hounsou (50) - You may not know his name, but you know who this is.  He was the black guy from Gladiator or the guy who helped Leo in Blood Diamond.  He will be in this summer's Guardians of the Galaxy which I'm really looking forward to.
• Richard Donner (84) - I bet you are saying "Who?".  Well, he directed a ton of great movies like The Goonies, Superman, all of the Lethal Weapons, The Toy, and best of all, Scrooged.  Now you are saying "I love that guy".
• My Nephew Trey (8?) - I just asked, he'll be 9.  I may not know how old he is, but I at least know his birthday.....but that's because my birthday is tomorrow.
• Katherine Webb (25) - It's amazing that you can become famous because Brent Musburger drooled over you during a boring football game.  Then again, she is really hot, so maybe she would have become famous regardless.

"This is what you get if you are the quarterback for Alabama."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - April 7th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Jackie Chan (60) - Wow, he's 60?!?  I did not see that coming.  I do have some good news, a Rush Hour 4 is in the works.  Oh wait, did I say good news?  I meant bad news, a Rush Hour 4 is in the works.
• Russell Crowe (50) - Am I the only one that feels like Russell hasn't done a good movie in years?  The last thing he starred in that I enjoyed was Cinderella Man.  He will be playing Noah this summer and I will predict it now, that movie will suck.
• James Garner (86) - If you're a chick, then you will remember him from The Notebook.  And if you're a dude, then you will remember him from, uhhhh, The Notebook.  We all know you watched it and secretly liked it.  That Ryan Gosling is dreamy.
• Francis Ford Coppola (75) - The director of all two Godfather movies (there never was a third one and you know it!) hasn't done much lately other than produce stuff.  Fun fact - did you know he directed the movie Jack?  You know, that dumb movie where Robin Williams' character aged really fast.  Crazy, right?
• Bill Bellamy (49) - This comedian and actor has been seen in things like....well....the only thing I can think of is Any Given Sunday where he played a WR.  Do you know who the other WR was on that fictional team?  None other than Terrell Owens.
• A Bunch of Random Sports Stars like Tiki and Ronde Barber, Adrian Beltre, and Tony Dorsett.

"Maximus sure has let himself go, hasn't he?"

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - March 24th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Peyton Manning (38) - Peyton turns 38 today and he just had the best statistical season a QB has ever had.  I say statistical, because it would have been the best season ever if he didn't get killed in the Super Bowl.  Good thing he has a comedy career to fall back on.  His stint as host of SNL was priceless.
• Jim Parsons (41) - Yeah, Sheldon is in his 40's.  The guy doesn't look a day over 30.
• Alyson Hannigan (40) - Another 40 year old?!?  What is going on?  I feel like American Pie only came out a few years ago and Alyson is still that nerdy band geek.  Then again, maybe I'm just thinking of that American Pie sequel that sucked.
• Jessica Chastain (37) - Definitely a RHILF.  The "RF" stands for redhead, you can figure out the rest.  Jessica will be starring in Christopher Nolan's Interstellar this summer and I can't wait to see what Nolan has in store this time.
• Tommy Hilfiger (63) - You know, that guy who makes clothes that nobody wears.
• Kelly Lebrock (54) - The star of Weird Science is in her mid 50's and based on that picture below, mother nature has not been kind to her.
• Louie Anderson (61) - Remember this guy?  Me neither.  But I do remember his nasally voice though and it still haunts my dreams.
• Lara Flynn Boyle (44) - The only reason I included her is because she played a decent bad guy in the second Men in Black movie.  Other than that, I can't name another thing she has ever been in.
• Mark "The Undertaker" Calaway (52) - Ah yes, The Undertaker, one of the few wrestlers that I could name off of the top of my head.  What I find amazing is that he is still alive considering all of those steroids you know he took.
• Harry Houdini (140) - I am amazed that he has his own IMDB page, then again IMDB might be the greatest website ever and they know what the hell they are doing.

"Yikes."

Today's Celebrity Birthdays - March 10th

I decided to start up a new post where I list the "celebrities" that were born on this day and then either praise them or mock them.  It will be fun, so let's do this:

• Chuck Norris (74) - It still shocks me to see that Chuck is in his mid 70s.  Then again, he has only been in one movie (The Expendables 2) since 2005, so maybe his age is finally catching up with him.
• Carrie Underwood (31) - She is still the only American Idol winner that you can claim went on to have a wildly successful career.  Sure, you could say that Kelly Clarkson is still around, but come on, Carrie is way hotter, therefore, more successful.  I don't make the rules, that's just how it works.
• Robin Thicke (37) - The only thing I know about this guy is that Miley Cyrus had her "I'm crazy" coming out party on his crotch.  Also, every time I hear his name, I just assume he is related to the great Alan Thicke.  (Update - I have been informed by a buddy of mine that Robin Thicke is in fact Alan Thicke's son.....and that really pisses me off!)
• Olivia Wilde (30) - I am in love with this pretty lady.  If I could exchange 20 years of my life to hang out with her for a day, I'm fairly sure I would do it.
• Sharon Stone (56) - Remember her?  Me neither, but she was pretty hot in her prime.  She hasn't done anything big since she starred in Sphere all the way back in 1998....1998?!?  Wow, she really fell off fast, didn't she?
• Jon Hamm (43) - My man, Jon Hamm.  My favorite thing about Jon is that he is known as the ever serious Don Drapper on Mad Men, but he is actually really funny.  Just find any episode of the hilarious podcast, Doug Loves Movies, that he is on and you will see what I mean.
• Danny Pudi (35) - I can honestly say that I did not know that he Danny was 35.  He plays a college student on the very funny Community and doesn't look a day over 25.  Good for him.
• Paget Brewster (45) - No idea who this is, but she stars on Criminal Minds and that seems like a popular show and I'm sure a few of our dear readers watch it, so I included her on this list.
• Osama bin Laden (Dead, USA USA USA!) - We gotcha, you terrorist bastard.  It took 10 years and finding a massive amount of porn hidden on your computer, but we gotcha!

"I picked this day solely because of Olivia "Sexy Eyes" Wilde.  Yum."