The McCarthys

Do you guys know who Melissa McCarthy is?  If not, she is the star of the TV show Mike and Molly as well as the actress who played the crazy funny lady in the movie Bridesmaids.  In case you can't picture her, here is a picture of her from Bridesmaids:

Now, do you guys remember Jenny McCarthy?  I guess she is most famous for either being the host of the old MTV show Singled Out or for her Playboy spreads, it kind of depends on how much you like boobs.  In any case, here is a picture:

Did you notice the one thing that was similar about these two women?  And no, the answer is not large boobs, pervert.  The answer is that both of their last names is McCarthy.  It turns out that Melissa and Jenny are cousins.  I know, I never would have guessed that in a million years.  I heard this little piece of trivia the other day and it blew my mind and I felt I should share it with you guys that way the next time you hear it at Trivia Night, you will know the answer.  You're welcome.

Random Movie Trivia - Fight Club

I did one of these posts a couple of weeks ago and because learning random bits of trivia is fun for all, I decided to do it again and may make it a new weekly post once college football is over.  Here goes:

Fight Club

• The director of this movie is David Fincher, but did you know that he might have the strangest assortment of directing credits to his name that I have ever seen.  He has also directed Se7en, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Social Network, The Game, Alien 3, Zodiac, Panic Room, and the strangest one of all, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
• Fight Club was originally a book and the author actually said he thought the movie was an improvement over his book, then again, Brad Pitt will make anything better, am I right?
• In the scene where Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are drunk and hitting golf balls, they actually got drunk.
• This movie was shot right after Edward Norton starred in American History X and for his role in Fight Club, Edward lost 20 pounds (and the swastika tattoo) in order to look more like an "every-man".
• The director wanted Helena Bonham Carter to play Marla and the studio wanted to cast Reese Witherspoon for the the part, but Reese turned it down because she considered the part "too dark".  Sarah Michelle Gellar was also approached for the part but couldn't do it because of her contract with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
• In the scene where one of the Fight Club members hoses down a priest for his homework assignment, you can see the camera shake.  This happened because the cameraman couldn't stop laughing during the take.
• During the first fight between Edward Norton and Bard Pitt, Edward was supposed to fake hit Pitt in the ear, but the director pulled him aside and told him to really hit him and when you go back and watch it, you can see Edward smiling while Pitt really is in pain.
• Peter Jackson was the original choice to direct this movie and even though he loved the book, he was too busy prepping for The Lord of the Rings.
• Russell Crowe was the producers' choice for the role of Tyler Durden and Matt Damon and Sean Penn were considered for the part of "The Narrator".  I think they made the right call in the end.
• Meat Loaf's fake breasts and love handles were due to a fat suit that was filled with birdseed to ensure it hung correctly and that fat suit weighed around 100 pounds.
• The author of the book came up with the idea for his book after he was beaten up during a camping trip when he complained to some nearby campers about their radio being too loud.  When he showed up at work after the incident, he found it strange that none of his co-workers asked him about the bruises and instead only asked "How was your weekend?".

"I'm positive that Brad Pitt is the only person on the planet who could make what he is wearing look cool."

Cost of Xmas Song Crap

News alert from every organization that is lazy - the cost of the crap from the Twelve Days of Christmas has gone up (click that link to see what I'm talking about....or don't)!  HORNS! ALERT! BANG! BOOM! BIFF!  It's called inflation, idiots.  Apparently this year's cost is up 6%.  The cost never goes down unless there is a flood of  pear trees on the open market.  Oh well - I guess news organizations cater to the Walmart crowds. Let's give into the stupidity and further examine the Twelve Days of Christmas list:

• 12 Drummers Drumming ($2,775.50) - What else would drummers do?  How much to watch them play tennis?
• 11 Pipers Piping ($2,562) - What else would pipers do?  How much to watch them play tennis?  Fun fact - Pipers are only slightly more expensive than drummers.  Seems like they would be much more expensive given the lack of supply.
• 10 Lords a Leaping ($4767) - Are there 10 lords left in the world?  It will be close - I will make a call to my fiefdom.
• 9 Ladies Dancing ($6294) - All payable in ones.  ZING.  This may be the only one I want.
• 8 Maids a Milking ($58) - Joke overload - I can't do it.
• 7 Swans a Swimming ($7000) - Wow - so much more expensive than the goose.  Maybe you could get old ones that are way past thier prime for $4000.
• 6 Geese a Laying ($210) - How exactly do you time it so that all of them are "a laying"at the same time?  Seems improbable.  $210 also seems cheap enough to make this experience a fun Tuesday night with some friends.  This one is up $48 from last year - a 30% increase!?!?!  We need government regulation - this is worse than gas prices.
• 5 Golden Rings ($750) - The way I lose wedding rings I will be there shortly.  You knew Jesus was a boy because there are only 5 pieces of jewelry on this list.  ZING!
• 4 Calling Birds ($519.96) - As my morning self can tell you, there is no bird that doesn't call loudly so that is no worry.  If you were smart you would get 3 turtle doves and 2 partridges so they would be interchangeable and you wouldn't have to worry about losing the turtle doves or the one partridge that is so critical to the song.  I hope everyone considers this.
• 3 French Hens ($165) - How disappointing if you got all the other items and only got regular hens, not the French ones.  What a Charlie Brown moment that would be!
• 2 Turtle Doves ($125) - More birds!  What's the deal - I know of a few people who have ONE bird, but this makes 23 birds for one Christmas - ridiculous.  You should have just said you want a lot of birds.
• 1 Partridge in a Pear Tree ($15) and a Pear Tree ($189) - This is really the big climax?  A bird and a tree?  There are like 50 of each in my backyard.

"If this what they mean by "Nine Ladies Dancing" then I am in, however, I don't think my wife will appreciate the gift as much as I will."

Achilles and His Heel

Do you guys remember the story about the legendary Greek hero, Achilles?  If not, do you at least remember the 2004 movie Troy which starred Brad Pitt as the legendary Greek hero, Achilles?  Yeah, I know that that movie isn't a great example of cinematic history, but it covered the gist of Achilles's story.  In any case, the Greek mythology behind Achilles is that he was the son of the nymph (some sort of fair, I think)  Thetis and the King of the Myrmidons.  When he was born, his nymph mother wanted to make him immortal and she achieved this by dipping him in the river Styx.  However, because she held him by the heel, that part of his body did not absorb the magic of the river Styx and was very much vulnerable.  With that out of the way, I have a couple of very big questions about his death.

If you don't remember, the legend is that during the Trojan War, Achilles helped Agememnon besiege the city of Troy because the Prince of Troy, Paris, stole Agamemnon's brother's wife, Helen, when in reality he was just looking for a reason to attack Troy all along.  While Troy was being sacked (and after those idiots didn't bother to check to see if anyone was hiding inside a giant wooden horse), Paris shot and killed Achilles with an arrow that hit him in the heel.  So, my first question is - how exactly does someone die from a simple arrow to a part of the body that holds no vital organs or large arteries and is in fact, just a large shock-absorbing muscle?  I could understand if Achilles's mom dipped him into the river Styx by holding his temples and he was shot by an arrow there, but no, he was shot in the heel.  The aftermath of an arrow to the heel would be that he couldn't walk on it for awhile, but certainly not death.  The only way that he could have died from this injury is if that arrow was poisoned or some meddling Greek Gods got involved.  Sure enough, that is what they claim happened in a couple of versions of the story, but not in the most famous story about Achilles, Homer's Iliad.

My next question is - if Achilles's mother knew he was vulnerable in his heel, why didn't she tell him?  And if she did tell him, why didn't he just where a piece of armor that protected THE ONE SPOT on his body that could get him killed?  Here's an idea Achilles, wear high-top sandals or a piece of metal that wraps around your ankles.  In fact, wear nothing but a piece of metal around your ankles, it's not like a blow to the head is going to do any harm your invincible body.  The Greeks told a lot of crazy stories, but this one takes the cake in stupidity when it comes to an easily avoidable death to your greatest hero.

"If he was invulnerable, then why in the hell is he wearing armor?  Why wouldn't he just fight naked?  That would certainly give him the element of surprise."

NOKW - The Goonies

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Goonies

Basic Plot:  A group of friends go on an adventure to find One-Eyed Willie's gold in the hopes of saving their foreclosed homes from the expansion of a country club.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that the Goonies' parents are apparently too poor and incompetent to pay for their own homes and this meant that they should be given a second chance just because it was a country club that was trying to take away their homes.  The fact that the Goonies just so happen to stumble across the three things (an old newspaper article, a map, and an artifact relating to hidden treasure) that they need to start their treasure hunt in one of their parents' attics and nobody else before them was able to figure out their significance.  The fact that Chunk would be friends with a group of kids who constantly made fun of him and forced him to do the "Truffle Shuffle" all the time.  The fact that a group of kids thought it would be a good idea to go up against the fugitive family, the Fratellis.  The fact that Sloth didn't rip Chunk limb-from-limb when he first met him (side note - I had a middle school teacher who played pro football with John Matuszak, aka Sloth, with the Houston Oilers).  The fact that the Goonies weren't killed in any one of the numerous booby traps considering a professional treasure hunter was killed by one of the first ones.  The fact that no one found One-Eyed Willie's ship long before now considering there was an easily accessible hole in the cave that led directly to that ship.  The fact that One-Eyed Willie's ship was able to sail after rotting inside that cave for however long it was there.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that One-Eyed Willie and his crew didn't bother to leave his ship but instead just died sitting in their chairs.  It's not like they couldn't leave that cave and we know that because they apparently took the time to set up a bunch of booby traps and there was even an exit in the main cave with the ship.  What exactly was he and his crew proving by dying beside all of their treasure?  Wouldn't it have been a better idea to leave the boat there, take some of the treasure, and have an awesome time on the town.  I haven't seen this movie in a long time and they may have explained why he stayed, but even if there was an explanation, that is no reason to steal all of that treasure only to sit there looking at it while you whither away and die.  That makes no sense.  You obviously horded all that stuff so that you would become filthy rich the easy way, but why not spend it?  And if One-Eyed Willie's plan was to die and never spend it, then why didn't his crew just mutiny, steal it, and spend the hell out of it?  I am not okay with that.

"Come on, big guy, those kids found their way onto your ship, you could have found a way off of it."

Stupid State Laws - Maine

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Maine

"Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack."

Hardcore.  But my question is - how often did people in Maine get attacked by Native Americans that they were required to impose such a stupid law?  It's Maine, it's not like it is a state smack dab in the middle of Native American territory.  If anything, they are more likely to be attacked by a couple of drunk Canadians than by a group of scalp-wanting Indians.  Sure, there were probably a lot more Native Americans in the area when the white man first showed up, but by the time Maine actually became a state and started making real laws, I would assume that most, if not all, of the Native Americans would have been slaughtered or relocated by then.  In any case, do you think that they still require the people of that state (Mainians?  Maineonites?) to take a shotgun to church if they even have one Native American in town?  So stupid, so funny.

"Honey, hurry up, we're gonna be late for church again."

NFL Awesome Picks Spectacular Week 13

Because we here at Brainfart love us some football, we decided that we would not only be doing college football picks each week, but we would also be doing some NFL picks, too. So, here is where I make my NAPS (NFL Awesome Picks Spectacular):

Picks are in red

All lines are provided by Sportsbook.ag

Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears (-4)

Sunday 1:00

- Bears are getting Forte back and have a healthy Cutler.  The Hawks offense can't roll against a good team and all the stats are against them - 1-5 on the road vs a 5-1 home Bears team.  They will not score enough to cover this one on the road - Bears by 10.

Arizona Cardinals (+4.5) at New York Jets

Sunday 1:00

- The Jets playing at home is going to be much worse for them than playing on the road and with the added loss of Fireman Ed they have no spirit.  Even if Sanchez sucks they don't have Tebow to bail them out.  The dumpster fire continues to burn in spite of the Cardinals QB situation.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7) at Denver Broncos

Sunday 4:00

- The Bucs lost a close one to the Falcons last week but it was no embarrassment - they have been playing great as of late.  The Broncos are good but with the loss of McGahee they looked a little lost and became too one-dimensional.  Even Peyton needs some kind of running game to keep the defense honest.  The Bucs may not win but they have the horses to make a game of it.

Indianapolis Colts (+5) at Detroit Lions

Sunday 1:00

- Detroit is surprisingly terrible this year and are coming off of an 0-3 stretch.  Not much has gone well for them and they have to go up against the resurrected Colts who have the cancer-fighting spirit on their side.  Luck and company have enough weapons to win a scoring race with the Lions.

Carolina Panthers at Kansas City Chiefs (+3)

Sunday 1:00

- The Eagles are the only thing that has made the Panthers look good all season.  The Eagles have not won more recently than the Phillies so that win isn't saying much.  Did you see how Bryce Brown tore through the Panthers defense?  The Chiefs have Jamal Charles so they have that going for them.  I would not make my worst enemy watch this game but I think the Chiefs can grind out an ugly win in Arrowhead.

Last Week's Results: 6-5-1
Season Results: 26-29-2