Stupid State Laws - Florida 11

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Florida

"Torpedoes may not be set off in the city."

That makes sense, you don't want some dumb Floridian blowing up a city while trying to impress his stupid friends on a dare.  Then again, shouldn't this one be chalked up to common sense?  Who in their right mind would want to blow a torpedo......oh yeah.  It's Florida.  The state known for its white trash residents.  Which brings me to another thought.  Wasn't Florida known for its over abundance of old people not that long ago?  In order to change the perception of a state that quickly is quite impressive.  Their residents must have been working overtime with their stupidity the past decade to be able to make the nation forget about their old people and now only picture a state full of hicks wearing jean shorts and NASCAR cut-off t-shirts.  Congratulations Florida, you truly are a one of kind.

"Rookie, look what we have here.  A law breaker!"
"But Sarge, this guy hasn't set off the torpedo."
"Good, let's make him set it off because I've always wanted to see one of these things go off.  Then we arrest him."
"Isn't that entrapment?"
"He won't know that, anyone dumb enough to own one of these won't know the law."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  I think the title of this video sets it up nicely, enjoy:

Summary:  There is no way a garage door can lift a person, let alone being able to generate enough lift to kill them.  And how was the death by basketball to the head not the most ridiculous.  I'm sorry, but a man couldn't throw a basketball hard enough to make someone's head explode and yet a hot chick could?  Just ridiculous.

Who Is This? Part 20

So, who is that scruffy looking dude?  No, it's not the uni-bomber's son.  Try again.  Nothing?  How about a hint, idiot?  His most famous role involved making friends.  Perfect hint if I say so myself.  It wasn't?  Gosh, you really are dumb today, dear reader.  Here's another hint for your slow-witted mind.  His most famous role involved making friends with a luck dragon named Falcor.  Yup, that is Barret Oliver, the guy who played Bastian as a kid in The Neverending Story.  He sure has let himself go, hasn't he?

What is he up to now?  I'll put it this way, if you click on his IMDB page, it still shows a picture of himself as a kid.  So, I'm guessing he hasn't done much other than grow a beard.  Also, doesn't he kind of look like the kid from Jurassic Park?

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 2

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by Sportsbook.ag

#14 USC Trojans (+3) @ #10 Stanford Cardinal

3:30
ABC

#6 Michigan State Spartans @ #4 Oregon Ducks (-12)

6:30
FOX

Michigan Wolverines @ #15 Notre Dame Fighting Irish (-3.5)

7:30
NBC

BYU Cougars @ #25 Texas Longhorns (-1.5)

7:30
Fox Sports 1

Virginia Tech Hokies (+11) @ #7 Ohio State Buckeyes

8:00
ESPN

-A buddy of mine asked me this summer what record Clemson could finish with and I would be happy.  My response was 1-11, as long as that one win was against those dirty South Carolina Gamecocks.  Then I got to thinking about it and realized that that response was not only the funny answer but also true.  Just imagine if your favorite team was winless going into the last game against your arch-rival and your team won.  You could hold that win over their heads for years.  They would say "Your team sucks, they only won one game" and you can always respond with "Yeah, but who did they beat, sucka!".  Sure, it would suck to have such a shitty record, but hilarious that you won the one game that truly matters.

-How many bandwagon SEC fans do you think know what SEC stands for?

-When I heard that Brent Musburger was going to announce games for the SEC Network, I was fairly curious to see who they would pick to be his color analyst.  So, I tuned into the Texas A&M v. South Carolina game to find out and then heard the worst choice possible.  Jesse Palmer.  I can't stand that guy.  I know I've expressed my dislike for him on multiple occasions in last year's WPOTW, but seriously, this is an insult to college football.  That guy is a blowhard and seems to speak just to hear the sound of his own voice.  He adds nothing to the game but false or blatantly obvious statements.  As fellow Brainfart contributor Alex, a Georgia Tech grad but childhood South Carolina fan, texted me during the game "There's nothing worse than losing and having to listen to Jesse Palmer".  And to top it off, he has grown the douchiest beard possible.  Epic fail, SEC Network.

-As for my picks last week, I finished above .500 and would have done better had I not switched the FSU pick at the last second.  Oh well.  In any case, I guarantee a winning week this week or your money back.

-Last Week's Funniest College GameDay Sign:

(If you don't get this, Google "Jameis Winston Crab Legs" and then you will laugh, too.)

-Alright, enjoy the second week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-2
Season Results: 3-2

2014 NFL Predictions

Just like we did with college football, we here at Brainfart thought it should be our duty to give you guys our predictions for the upcoming NFL season.  Did I say predictions?  I meant, we are going to show you the future.  Let's do this:

	Sambo	Alex
AFC North	Cincinnati	Pittsburgh
AFC East	New England	New England
AFC South	Indianapolis	Indianapolis
AFC West	Denver	Denver
Wildcard #1	Pittsburgh	Tennessee
Wildcard #2	Baltimore	Jets
NFC North	Green Bay	Green Bay
NFC East	Philadelphia	Dallas
NFC South	New Orleans	Tampa Bay
NFC West	Seattle	Seattle
Wildcard #1	Arizona	Chicago
Wildcard #2	Tampa Bay	New Orleans
Super Bowl Winner	Denver	Green Bay
	Awards
MVP	Aaron Rodgers	Peyton Manning
Def. POY	J.J. Watt	Richard Sherman
Off. ROY	Brandin Cooks	Kelvin Benjamin
Def. ROY	Ryan Shazier*	Clowney**

*Clowney can suck it! ** Haters gonna hate

"FOOTBAWLLLLLL!!!!"

Brainfart's Crush of the Month - September

At the beginning of every month, we here at Brainfart will be bringing you our Brainfart Crush of the Month!  Sometimes it will be someone you have heard of, sometimes it will be just a random hottie you may have seen before, and sometimes it might be my neighbor.  Who knows!  Let's see who we picked this month:

This is Jessica Lowndes.  I saw this picture a while back and fell in love.  In fact, she has been my wallpaper ever since I saw her.  Who is she?  I didn't know until I looked her up.  Apparently, she was on the 90210 reboot.  I personally never saw that, but I can only assume she was incredible.  She also dated Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul for awhile.  I picked her as this month's crush because I can stare into her eyes for hours.  So sexy.  Congratulations Jessica on this amazingly sexy honor.

NOKW - The Wolverine

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Wolverine

Basic Plot:  Our favorite clawed mutant is back for the 7th time (yes, I'm counting his cameo in X-Men: First Class).  This time he is in Japan and fighting some more bad guys.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that it took me way too long to figure out that this movie was set after the shitty 3rd X-Men movie and not after the shitty origin movie.  The fact that staying in a hole in the ground for a couple of hours won't save your from the fallout of an atomic bomb.  The fact that Wolverine's biggest characteristic in the comics is that he is really small, but Hugh Jackman towers over everyone in this thing.  The fact that I still don't know what the Viper Lady's motivation for being evil was.  The fact that Mariko's friend (Yukio) comments early in the movie that Mariko's dad is "okay" at sword-fighting and then proceeds to get her ass kicked by him later.  The fact that I'm still not sure if Japanese Hawkeye was a mutant or just a really good shot with a bow.  The fact that Yashida (the bad guy) blew billions of his company's money on curing himself and only one person noticed.  The fact that I still don't understand how drilling into Wolverine's claws can allow the bad guy to steal his mutant ability.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that while Logan's mutant healing ability isn't working, he isn't bleeding all over the place every time he uses his claws.  In case you haven't seen this underrated movie, the Viper lady puts some sort of machine on his heart that suppresses his healing power and he runs around half the movie bleeding from numerous gunshot wounds.  And yet every time he whips out his claws, those wounds seem to heal immediately.  How?  He can't heal, so every time he uses his claws, his hands should be bleeding but somehow they don't.  On a side note, every time Wolverine unleashes his claws, wouldn't they be covered in blood anyways?  In any case, Logan should be bleeding a lot more than he does in this movie.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that I don't remember this scene with Psy in it."