Alabama
"It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty."
Sadly, I actually know why this is a law, but it doesn't make it any less stupid. Apparently, the rednecks down in Bama figured out that if they lose a hand or foot "accidentally", they can collect disability and no longer have to work. While that scam earns those idiots money, they don't seem to understand that losing an appendage is a really really dumb idea. I couldn't imagine not having hand. Do you know what I wouldn't be able to do without a hand......wait, don't think about that, I know exactly where your dirty mind is going. Instead, imagine no longer having a foot. That would suck. You would have to walk with a cane, you wouldn't be able to drive a stick shift, and no more hacky sack. Okay, maybe that last wouldn't be a loss, but losing a hand or foot just so you can collect a meager living is pretty dumb and it's just as dumb that so many idiots did this on purpose that they had to make a law about it. Way to go, rednecks.
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| "We gotta let her go, rookie. That madman did the maiming, she's clean." "Should we arrest him, Sarge?" "Are you serious! He's a magician, he'll just disappear if we get close to him. You have so much to learn, rookie." |
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