That title is kind of oddly worded, isn't it? I really couldn't think of a better way to phrase it. Oh well. In any case, I stumbled upon a really great podcast recently called James Bonding. On it, two comedians, Matt Mira and Matt Gourley, bring on guests each episode and discuss one of the numerous James Bond movies. It's really funny and it made me go back and watch some of the earlier James Bond movies myself. While watching said movies, it really made me laugh whenever they introduced some of the women in the movies because they really did have the dumbest names ever. Pretty much all of them could be a character in a James Bond movie or a pornstar's name. So, I decided to take it upon myself to look through all of these movies and make a list of the Top 10 funniest ones. Let's see what I came up with:
- 10) Jenny Flex (A View to a Kill) - Let's start out with an easy one. Flex? Really, what does that imply, Mr. Bond? Boning.
- 9) Strawberry Fields (Quantum of Solace) - She was the agent who met Bond in Bolivia and who ended up boning him within an hour of meeting Jimbo. While they never said her first name in the movie, she is credited as Strawberry Fields on IMDB. Get it, Strawberry Fields? If not, it's a Beatles song.
- 8) Honey Ryder (Dr. No) - The very first Bond girl and after doing a quick Google search, I was surprised that there isn't a pornstar with the same name. I guess it's copyrighted.
- 7) Jinx Johnson (Die Another Day) - Hally Berry played this Bond girl that sounds more like a comic book character that Stan Lee came up with than a Bond Girl. The good news is that she looked great in that bikini of hers. The bad news is that this was the worst Bond movie ever. Seriously, I don't think Pierce Bronson had a real line of dialogue other than witty one-liners. It was sad.
- 6) Penelope Smallbone (Octopussy) - Does this mean that I think it means? I guess Bond's manliness is actually making up for something.
- 5) Plenty O'Toole (Diamonds Are Forever) - I watched this movie recently and Plenty O'Toole might be the most annoying Bond girl to date. And that includes Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist.
- 4) Octopussy (Octopussy) - While funny, I'm still not sure that it should top the next three on this list.
- 3) Xenia Onatopp (Goldeneye) - Oh Famke Janssen, you were so hot in your prime. Sadly, she has to cake on the makeup nowadays, but back then, yum. Also, did anyone ever play as her in the Goldeneye game? I know I didn't. I always played as Boris, I loved his Hawaiian shirt.
- 2) Pussy Galore (Goldfinger) - Oh come on, this one isn't even trying. That is clearly a pornstar name, but no, James Bond character. No way a movie could get away with that name today.
- 1) Dr. Holly Goodhead (Moonraker) - And here is the name that made me write this post. Goodhead? Really? You know this name was written into the script just because of the endless one-liners you could make from it. Wow. Just wow.
- Bonus) Mrs. Moneypenny (All of Them) - She may not sound like a pornstar, but it is still a ridiculous name. Also, Bond flirts heavily with her in every movie, but the actresses who played the character were never all that hot. Does this imply that Bond has poor taste? No, because he boned a lot of hot ladies. I guess this just means that Bond was a sex addict, which isn't all that surprising when you think about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment