Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts - James Bond Edition

Here comes the next edition of Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts (click here to see the others).  Basically,  these are a bunch of random thoughts that came to mind that I couldn't really expand on and thought I should just make them into list form for your enjoyment.  Here goes:


  • For some reason, I always want to say James Bonds even when I know that's incorrect.
  • Was Pierce Brosnan a good Bond?  Or was the Goldeneye video game for the N64 so awesome it has blinded my generation from seeing how shitty he actually was?  I honestly don't know, that game was awesome and I'm biased.  Then again, Die Another Day was really really bad and that should pretty much conclude that he wasn't that good.
  • You would think that a super spy would be in his late 20's or early 30's, aka his prime, and not a 40 year old or nearly 60 like Roger Moore was when he filmed his last movie.
  • Just once I would love to see Q give Bond a gadget that didn't come in handy at just the right time.
  • Moneypenny just isn't that hot, why does James try to bang her all the time?
  • Sean Connery played Bond 7 times, but in a really weird order.  He did 5 movies, then George Lazenby did one, Connery did one more, then Roger Moore did 6, followed by another Connery movie, then Roger Moore did his last one.  Weird.
  • If Skyfall is supposed to be a prequel to the rest of the movies, then either James Bond doesn't age or Q has a debilitating aging disease.
  • For being a British spy, James Bond was played by one Scot (Connery), one Australian (Lazenby), one Welshman (Dalton), one Irishman (Brosnan), and finally two Brits (Moore and Craig).
  • How many illegitimate children do you think Bond has?
  • Timothy Dalton was highly underrated as Bond, it just sucks the movies he was in weren't very good.
  • Considering Bond's notoriety, he seemed to be able to infiltrate every one of his villains' organizations way too easily.
  • Was I the only one who was always super annoyed by almost getting to see some boobs in every movie?  Especially the opening credits.  What a tease!
  • Have you ever noticed that James says his witty one-liners way too often when no one else is around?  What's the point if there is no one else to laugh along with him?
  • Does Q hate Bond?  He always seem to hate to have to deal with him.
  • How many years did Bond train on driving vehicles alone?  Because he seems at equally at home driving in cars, tanks, 18-wheelers, planes, helicopters, submarines, and space shuttles.
  • Did any of the Bond villains' evil schemes actually make sense?
  • And if you are Bond villain, you really should stop hiring henchmen who look like evil henchmen, it gives away that you are a villain way too quickly to everyone.
  • What is the mortality rate of sleeping with Jimbo?  It's gotta be about 50% because it seems like one chick per movie dies after he bones them......and that doesn't include the multitude of STDs he gave the ones that didn't get murdered.

"Q at age 30?"

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