The Force

This week, we celebrated Star Wars Day, aka "May the 4th Be With You".  And that got me to thinking - what exactly is it that "The Force" does for somebody who can wield it?  If I really cared, I'm sure I could find any number of books written on the subject by some super dorks, I mean fans, but I want to know what the Force is based solely off of what we saw in the 6 Star Wars movies.  With that being the basis, this is what we know about "The Force".

• You have to have some sort of stuff in your blood in order to use the Force, but that's irrelevant because it was covered in The Phantom Menace and I refuse to believe that movie exists even if I did just mention it.
• You can move things with your mind, telekinesis-style.
• You can bend people to your will like Professor X.
• You can uhhhh....feel stuff, kind of.
• You become a visible ghost after you die.
• If you are a bad guy, you can shoot lightening out of your hands.  That seems to be the only upside to going over to the Dark Side.
• And I think you have to have the ability to use the Force in order to use a lightsaber, but I'm nor sure about that.  We only see Jedi use them, so this is an assumption on my part and I don't feel like looking it up.
• Also, I guess it allows you to deflect laser beams with your lightsaber, but that might just be really good training.

That's about it.  Four, maybe five things if you are a good guy and one extra thing if you are a bad guy.  But considering how cool the Force sounds, you would think it would allow you to be able to do a lot more cool stuff, like teleport or stop time.  And now that I think about it, what in the hell is the Force?  How do the Jedi know that it isn't just that stuff in their blood that allows them to do all this stuff and not some mythical power?  That would make more sense, because if there is a magic power floating through the air, I feel like with the technology in those movies, they could create a machine that could harness it for other purposes.  Oh well.  So, what did we learn today?  Nothing, absolutely nothing.  You're welcome.

"If The Force actually existed, you know people would do stuff like this all the time and post it to Facebook.  We are so dumb."

Brainfart Crush of the Month - May

At the beginning of every month, we here at Brainfart will be bringing you our Brainfart Crush of the Month!  Sometimes it will be someone you have heard of, sometimes it will be just a random hottie you may have seen before, and sometimes it might be my neighbor.  Who knows!  Let's see who we picked this month:

This is Alison Brie.  If you are a fan of comedies, you know her as Annie Edison from Community and if you are a fan of dramas, then you know her as Trudy Campbell from Mad Men.  She is this month's Brainfart Crush solely based on that picture above.  Plus I heard her interviewed on a podcast recently and she was hilarious, on top of the fact that she looks really sexy as a cartoon (not that I'm into that sort of thing).  Congratulations Alison on this prestigious honor!

Random Movie Trivia - Men In Black

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

Men In Black

• The MIB headquarters are located in the ventilation tower of the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel, which connects Manhattan with Brooklyn.
• Actor Vincent D'Onofrio researched his role as Edgar by watching a lot of bug documentaries. In order to achieve his character's distinctive walk, he put on knee braces so he couldn't bend his legs, and taped up his ankles.
• According to the novelization, J is right to shoot Tiffany, the cardboard cutout on the MIB firing range. She's actually a dangerous alien in disguise, while all of the other aliens around are completely harmless.
• The "known aliens" visible on the screen at MiB headquarters include Al Roker, Isaac Mizrahi, Danny DeVito, director Barry Sonnenfeld, Chloe Sonnenfeld (Barry's daughter), Sylvester Stallone,Dionne Warwick, Newt Gingrich, Anthony Robbins, George Lucas, and executive producer Steven Spielberg.
• Clint Eastwood was offered the role of K but turned it down.
• Chris O'Donnell was first offered the role of J, but he turned it down because he thought it was another "new recruit" role like his performance of Dick Grayson from Batman Forever (1995) and Batman & Robin (1997).  David Schwimmer was asked to play the role of J before Will Smith, but turned it down.
• Will Smith was cast because Barry Sonnenfeld's wife was a fan of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
• When K reveals there are about 1500 aliens on Earth and most of them are on Manhattan just trying to make a living, James asks "Cab drivers?". This is a reference to writer Douglas Adams's 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' novels, particularly the final novel 'So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish', where archivist Ford Prefect's entry in the Guide hints that driving a cab is a good way to make a living for aliens visiting New York.
• Quentin Tarantino was originally offered the chance to direct, but turned it down.
• Linda Fiorentino "won" her role in Men in Black in a poker game with director Barry Sonnenfeld. Afterwards he warned her she would not be in any nude scenes.
• The noise the neuralyzer makes when it flashes is the sound of a strobe flash reloading.
• John Turturro was offered the role of Edgar, but had to decline due to other commitments.

"Chris, when we said 'Men in Black', this is not what we were talking about.  You know what, you're out, we're going with the Fresh Prince."

Stupid State Laws - Alabama 5

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Alabama

"It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile."

Holy crap, that seems really dangerous.  Wait a second, don't headlights count as a lantern?  I would say yes and that makes this doubly dangerous.  Any idiot (and Alabama is full of them) could drive the wrong way down a one-way street, claim their headlights were on and get away with their crime.  Sure, this law probably meant a literal lantern, but times have changed, Alabama, and you guys need to update this law.  However, that doesn't explain the reason behind the law in first place.  Why have one-way streets if you are only going to allow people to drive the wrong way on them anyways?  Alabama, that's just dumb.

"Well, he does have a lantern on the front of his car, Sarge."
"Shut up, rookie and arrest that funny man."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  This is a little older - pre-playoffs - but it is a solid one.  Just an innocent post-game interview with Joakim Noah.

Summary:  When he finds out the weather is bad it's like someone just kicked his puppy.  This just goes to prove that no matter how famous you are or how much money you make, there is one thing that can make or break your day - the weather.  I guess that's why everyone talks about it so much.  Makes you wonder why people live in Chicago.....and the murders.

Movie Trailer Review - Spider-Man 2

This is not a review of the trailer, but a review of this movie based entirely on this movie's trailer.  I have a special talent of being able to figure out whether a movie will be any good based just on the trailer and I'm finally putting that talent to good use.  Screw you, it's a real talent.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

At first, I was pretty excited about this movie, but then they just kept adding villains and now I'm not so sure because it reminds me too much of that atrocity Spider-Man 3.  Even though I like Jamie Foxx and Paul Giamatti (did you know his dad used to be the MLB Commissioner?), I have never heard of their characters before.  Seriously, who are Electro and The Rhino?  And on top of them, they are giving us the Green Goblin, who is played by that guy (Dane DeHaan) from that movie about kids who get superpowers, Chronicle, who I think is a great actor, but still, why so many villains?  They really should scale it back a little considering they have two more sequels already in the pipe.

Anyways, on to the trailer.  The trailer I put in up there is the one that shows how Jamie Foxx becomes Electro and even shows a little bit of his and Spider-Man's first confrontation.  And frankly, I don't see how Spider-Man can defeat that guy, he looks way more powerful.  In any case, this movie looks decent, the effects look on par to the rest of the superhero movies they throw at us each year, but the plot looks a little more complicated than it needs to be.  It's going to be a real debate as to whether I go see this in the theater or not.  I saw the first one during its first week and liked it more than most people, but after watching the trailer for this one, something about it doesn't seem to sit right with me.  So, I going to recommend seeing it only if you are bored and have ten bucks to burn.

Estimated Opening Weekend Box Office Gross - $100 million +

What Kind of Fart This Movie Will Resemble:

The Dud Fart - The Dud Fart is not really a fart at all. It's a fart that fails. For this reason it is strictly a group one identification fart, because there is no real way you can identify a fart that somebody else expected to fart but didn't. It is the most private of all farts. In most cases the farter usually feels a little disappointed.

NOKW - 300

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  300

Basic Plot:  The story of a bunch of scantily clad dudes killing a bunch of bad guys.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that these guys are considered hardcore warriors and yet fight in nothing but glorified speedos and a cape.  The fact that Spartan kids are not traumatized after going through their warrior upbringing.  The fact that Leonidas would just kick a dude down a well for delivering a message.  The fact that Michael Fassbender, aka the young Magneto, is in this movie.  The fact that Lena Headley, aka Cersai Lannister, plays Leonidas' wife in this movie.  The fact that even though I know this is based on a graphic novel, having monsters part of the fight makes no sense of a real historical event.  The fact that anyone would be okay with hauling their leader around on a super huge, super heavy throne.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that there are more than 300 guys.  Yup, there were more than 300, therefore the title is a lie.  As soon as our title group sets off, they run into some Arcadians and Greeks who join their army.  You remember the scene, it's where Leonidas asks them what profession each one is, they respond things like baker and farmer, and then he asks his group what profession they are and they all yell something that I assume means warrior.  So, what does 300 plus another group of guys equal?  More than 300.  I am not okay with that.