Top 5
John McClane, Die Hard - Of course John McClane made the list. He's the reason we even know who Bruce Willis is and made it cool to wear a wife beater....until rednecks took that away from us.Korben Dallas, The Fifth Element - Highly underrated movie and Bruce nails this role. Also, it helps this movie that my teenager self got to see some Milla Jovovich side boob
Jimmy Tudeski, The Whole Nine Yards - I don't care how stupid the sequel was, the first one was hilarious. And once again, we got to see some boobs, this time it was Amanda Peet's boobs.
Dr. Malcolm Crowe, The Sixth Sense - I just noticed that's three straight movies with a number in the title. Weird.
Joe Blake, Bandits - This is one of fellow Brainfart contributor Alex's favorite movies and I have to agree, it's pretty good. No boobs this time, but it did have a super young January Jones in it.
Bottom 5
John McClane, A Good Day to Die Hard - Yup, as awesome as John McClane is, we cannot excuse him for this piece of shit. The first sequel? Sure. The second one? Better than you would think. A third one? Kind of dumb, but entertaining. A fourth one? NO!!!! This was a travesty to the great career of John McClane and should be removed from your memories for his sake.Harry Stamper, Armageddon - Michael Bay was involved, therefore it was crap.
Hudson Hawk, Hudson Hawk - Has anyone seen this movie? It's so dumb, it's almost watchable, but then you watch a second time and realize that it is just dumb.
Church, The Expendables - I still don't know how this movie spawned two sequels. I only saw the first one and it was an hour and a half of old people fighting and terrible one-liners.
Butch Coolidge, Pulp Fiction - I love this movie. Everything is incredible about it......except for Bruce Willis's character's choice in girlfriends. She is by far the most annoying person to ever appear in a movie and it makes watching this movie again painful.
"Besides this movie being highly underrated, I'm fairly certain it was the last time Bruce had hair." |
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