Brainfart's Crush of the Month - September

At the beginning of every month, we here at Brainfart will be bringing you our Brainfart Crush of the Month!  Sometimes it will be someone you have heard of, sometimes it will be just a random hottie you may have seen before, and sometimes it might be my neighbor.  Who knows!  Let's see who we picked this month:

This is Jessica Lowndes.  I saw this picture a while back and fell in love.  In fact, she has been my wallpaper ever since I saw her.  Who is she?  I didn't know until I looked her up.  Apparently, she was on the 90210 reboot.  I personally never saw that, but I can only assume she was incredible.  She also dated Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul for awhile.  I picked her as this month's crush because I can stare into her eyes for hours.  So sexy.  Congratulations Jessica on this amazingly sexy honor.

NOKW - The Wolverine

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series where I point out things in a movie I can tolerate and then one thing I just couldn't (if you want, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Wolverine

Basic Plot:  Our favorite clawed mutant is back for the 7th time (yes, I'm counting his cameo in X-Men: First Class).  This time he is in Japan and fighting some more bad guys.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that it took me way too long to figure out that this movie was set after the shitty 3rd X-Men movie and not after the shitty origin movie.  The fact that staying in a hole in the ground for a couple of hours won't save your from the fallout of an atomic bomb.  The fact that Wolverine's biggest characteristic in the comics is that he is really small, but Hugh Jackman towers over everyone in this thing.  The fact that I still don't know what the Viper Lady's motivation for being evil was.  The fact that Mariko's friend (Yukio) comments early in the movie that Mariko's dad is "okay" at sword-fighting and then proceeds to get her ass kicked by him later.  The fact that I'm still not sure if Japanese Hawkeye was a mutant or just a really good shot with a bow.  The fact that Yashida (the bad guy) blew billions of his company's money on curing himself and only one person noticed.  The fact that I still don't understand how drilling into Wolverine's claws can allow the bad guy to steal his mutant ability.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that while Logan's mutant healing ability isn't working, he isn't bleeding all over the place every time he uses his claws.  In case you haven't seen this underrated movie, the Viper lady puts some sort of machine on his heart that suppresses his healing power and he runs around half the movie bleeding from numerous gunshot wounds.  And yet every time he whips out his claws, those wounds seem to heal immediately.  How?  He can't heal, so every time he uses his claws, his hands should be bleeding but somehow they don't.  On a side note, every time Wolverine unleashes his claws, wouldn't they be covered in blood anyways?  In any case, Logan should be bleeding a lot more than he does in this movie.  I am not okay with that.

"The fact that I don't remember this scene with Psy in it."

Stupid State Laws - Florida 10

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Florida

"A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing."

I totally understand this one.....oh wait, no I don't, this is stupid.  Unmarried women?  Only Sundays?  Is this a Bible Belt thing?  Sure, banning alcohol sales on Sundays (aka the Day of the Lord) kind of makes sense, but even then, most Bible Belt states don't even do that anymore.  So, why can't an unmarried woman parachute on Sundays?  Honestly, I don't know what makes less sense, the unmarried part or the Sunday part, both are equally baffling.  If I had to guess, a lawmaker's mistress was a big parachuting enthusiast but could only go on Sundays.  One day, the mistress broke off their adulteress affair and the lawmaker took his revenge by banning her from enjoying her one love.  Otherwise, this law seems highly pointless.  Fucking Florida and its stupid laws.

"Rookie, whose bright idea was it to arrest this criminal in the act?"
"Yours, sir."
"Oh yeah.  Next time remind I'm afraid of heights before we jump out of an airplane."
"This is so awesome, sire!"
"Shut up, rookie."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Some dude went back and edited the original Doom video game and made it way more violent.  I didn't know that was possible, but it is.  Here is the trailer for the new game:

Summary:  Punching a giant demon in the balls, flicking him off, and telling him to fuck himself.  I'm on board.

R.I.P. Georgia

"You will be missed, puppy."

"You were the best friend our family ever had."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 1

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by Sportsbook.ag

#20 Texas A&M Aggies (+10.5) @ #9 South Carolina Gamecocks

Thurs 6:00
SEC Network

Boise State Broncos v. #19 Mississippi Rebels (-10)

Georgia Dome, Atlanta
Thurs 8:00
ESPN

#16 Clemson Tigers (+7.5) @ #12 Georgia Bulldogs

5:30
ESPN

#1 Florida State Seminoles (-18) v. Oklahoma State Cowboys

AT&T Stadium, Irving TX
8:00
ABC

#14 Wisconsin Badgers (+5) v. #13 LSU Tigers

NRG Stadium, Houston
9:00
ESPN

-Welcome back to another season of me blindly picking college football games against the spread.  Last season, I had a losing record, which is the first time that has happened to me since I started doing this 5 years ago.  Was it a fluke or did my luck finally run out?  I'm hoping it was a fluke.  Having said that, I will warn you that the hardest week to pick games (other than picking bowl games) is Week 1 because no one really knows how good a team is and picking these games truly is blind luck.  However, I will do the best I can or your money back.

-So, I was researching for my fantasy league and a (brainfart) thought came to me - do football recruits look at a program's former players' NFL success when making their decision for which school they are going to attend?  The reason I bring this up is because the best WR in the NFL is without a doubt Calvin Johnson, who went to Georgia Tech.  Arguably, the second best WR is the NFL is Demaryius Thomas who also went to Georgia Tech.  And yet, Georgia Tech can't recruit a stud WR to save their lives.  Sure, that may have more to do with the fact that they run an offense that runs the ball, but they should still be able to sell the fact that they can produce All-Pro WR's.  Or look at Alabama, they have had the top rated recruiting class each of the past five years, but can you name one former player that has had huge success in the NFL recently?  Julio Jones maybe, but he's been hurt more often than healthy.  Eddie Lacy had one good year.  Otherwise, I can't even name another former Bama player that has been killing it in the pros and yet they keep bringing in every blue chip recruit they want.  So, either Georgia Tech is doing a poor job of selling their former players' NFL success or they are and nobody cares.

-Alright, enjoy the first week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 0-0
Season Results: 0-0

2014 College Football Predictions

Oh yeah, it's college football time!!!  So we here at Brainfart are going to give you a glimpse into the future and let you know who is going to win the Conference and National Championships.  Well, all of the good conferences because I don't even know who in the hell plays in the Big East anymore:

	Sambo	Alexatgt
ACC Coastal	Virginia Tech	Georgia Tech
ACC Atlantic	Florida St	Florida St
ACC Champ	Florida St	Florida State
SEC East	Georgia	South Carolina
SEC West	Auburn	Auburn
SEC Champ	Auburn	Auburn
Big 12 Champ	Oklahoma	Oklahoma
Big 10 East	Michigan St	Ohio St
Big 10 West	Nebraska	Wisconsin
Big 10 Champ	Michigan St	Wisconsin
PAC 12 North	Oregon	Oregon
PAC 12 South	UCLA	UCLA
PAC 12 Champ	Oregon	Oregon
	Playoff Teams
Team 1	Florida St	Florida State
Team 2	Oregon	Oregon
Team 3	Auburn	Wisonsin
Team 4	Oklahoma	Auburn
Winner	Oregon	Florida State

Top 10 All-Time Wins v. Largest Stadium Capacity:

(I excluded teams like Yale from these rankings because, well, just because)

1) Michigan - 910 Wins, #1 (109,900)
2) Texas - 875 Wins, #8 (100,119)
3) Notre Dame - 874 Wins, #21 (80,795)
4) Nebraska - 865 Wins, #15 (87,091)
5) Ohio State - 849 Wins, #4 (104,851)
6) Oklahoma - 842 Wins, #18 (82,112)
7) Alabama - 838 Wins, #7 (101,821)
8) Tennessee - 804 Wins, #5 (102,455)
9) USC - 786 Wins, #10 (93,607)
10) Georgia - 767 Wins, #11 (92,746)

-First, I should point out that I didn't include teams like Yale on the list because, well, why would I, Ivy League schools don't count as real football.  So, why did I point this out?  I have no idea.  I just wanted to know if there was a correlation between the all-time winningest teams and stadium capacity.  The final result - I would say that there is a correlation.  The smallest stadium is Notre Dame's and yet they still have the 21st largest stadium in college football.  Now you know and Knowledge is Power!

"FOOTBAWWWWWWL!!!"