Dog Names

Our family dog, Georgia, passed away at the end of the summer.  It was a sad time for our family because she was the best dog ever (trust me, she was better than your dog).  And because she was the best dog ever, I decided to honor her by naming every dog we get in the future with the name of a U.S. State.  After looking through a list of the states, I came up with a nifty list of my own.  Most of the names are derived from a state, but I still found a couple that work by themselves.  Here are the best ones I found:

Males

• Ari or Zona - Arizona
• Colorado
• Indiana
• Tuck - Kentucky
• Louie - Louisiana
• Monty - Montana/Vermont
• Tex - Texas

Females

• Ally - Alabama
• Cali - California
• Connie - Connecticut
• Deli - Delaware
• Georgia (of course)
• Ida - Idaho
• Ana - Louisiana
• Minnie - Minnesota
• Missy - Mississippi (by far my favorite)
• Penny - Pennsylvania
• Virginia or Ginny

After showing my brother this list, he came up with a few of his own that I liked:

• Nessie - Tennessee
• Whiskey - Wisconsin
• Mitch - Michigan
• Brasky - Nebraska
• Rhodie - Rhode Island

"Georgia loved the snow.  Unfortunately, it snowed more on the day of this picture than it has in the last five years combined.  Welcome to South Carolina."

Top/Bottom 5 Movie Roles - Billy Bob Thornton

Here is where I pick a random actor or actress's Top 5 and Bottom 5 Movie Roles (I assume the post title gave that away).  This won't necessarily be the chosen actor or actress's best roles, but a combination of their best and my favorite.  In other words, if there is a tie, I'll go with my favorite.  Also, I won't actually be ranking them, they will be in a random order.  Lastly, this isn't these actor's or actress's best movies, but their best characters.  Let's get started:

Billy Bob Thornton

Top 5

Lorne Malvo, Fargo - I know this is cheating because it was a TV show, but damn it, he was amazing on this show.  He played suave and creepy so well and I had to include this role.
Morris Buttermaker, The Bad News Bears - Did they need to remake this movie?  No.  Was Billy Bob a good choice to play Buttermaker?  Yup.
Willie, Bad Santa - This movie is hilarious and I feel like it doesn't get its due when it comes to classic Christmas movies.  Every scene Billy Bob is in was pure gold.
Dan Truman, Armageddon - How did a Michael Bay movie make it on here?  Well, because Billy Bob was great as NASA's head guy.  Go back and watch this thing and you will be amazed at how convincing he was in this thing.
Terry Collins, Bandits - This movie is underrated.  Bruce Willis and Billy Bob play bank robbers and BB's character was really funny.  If you haven't seen this, then I suggest checking it out.

Bottom 5

Karl Childers, Sling Blade - Sure, this movie won some awards, but I found Billy Bob's character more annoying than anything else.  As the great Kirk Lazarus from Tropic Thunder once said, "You never go full retard" and BB did.
Hank Grotowski, Monster's Ball - You don't rape Haley Berry and don't expect to not make this list.  Triple negative, nailed it.
The U.S. President, Love Actually - I only put this one here because I'm ashamed I like this movie.
Dr. P, School for Scoundrels - Piece of garbage.
Charles Farmer, The Astronaut Farmer - I never saw this movie and I've seen a lot of movies, so that should explain everything you need to know about this thing and Billy Bob's part in it.

Stupid State Laws - Florida 15

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Florida

"Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person."

So basically, this law is to get rid of hobos from loitering around the downtowns of Florida.  I guess that makes some sense, but does it apply to everyone?  Because have you seen the citizens of Florida recently?  If the news is to be believed (which it shouldn't), Florida is nothing but meth-addicted drunk rednecks that will more likely have ten beers or lottery tickets on them than ten bucks.  If you apply that fact and this law is actually enforced, then 95% of the population would be in jail at any given time.  How in the hell does that state function if they have laws like this?  Florida, you continue to amaze me with your stupidity.

"Alright rookie, arrest these bums."
"Um, Sarge...."
"Bums are poor, so these bums probably don't have 10 bucks on them and therefore are breaking the law."
"Um, Sarge...."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  I love Weird Al Yankovic.  Here is one of his newest songs spoofing Pharrell's "Happy":

Summary:  It's amazing that Weird Al has made amazing parody songs for as long as he has.  Fun Fact - the only artist who has ever declined to have one of his songs spoofed is Prince.  Everyone else was totally cool with it.

Brainfart's Crush of the Month - October

At the beginning of every month, we here at Brainfart will be bringing you our Brainfart Crush of the Month!  Sometimes it will be someone you have heard of, sometimes it will be just a random hottie you may have seen before, and sometimes it might be my neighbor.  Who knows!  Let's see who we picked this month:

This is Tami Donaldson.  She is amazing.....to look at, but probably amazing regardless.  Who is she?  A model and former Price is Right beauty.  And beauty is the best way to describe her.  She got my pick this month because of that picture alone.  I guarantee half of you will use it as your desktop picture.  Okay, I can't guarantee it, but I'm sure some of you guys (and girls?) will.  Congratulations Tami on this amazing honor.

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 6

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by Sportsbook.ag

#7 Texas A&M Aggies (+2.5) @ #14 Mississippi State Bulldogs

12:00
ESPN

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide (-7) @ #11 Mississippi Rebels

3:30
CBS

#3 Oklahoma Sooners (-5.5) @ #25 TCU Horned Frogs

3:30
FOX

#13 Stanford Cardinal @ #8 Notre Dame Fighting Irish (+1.5)

3:30
NBC

#15 LSU Tigers @ #5 Auburn Tigers (-7.5)

7:00
ESPN

#17 Nebraska Cornhuskers @ #10 Michigan State Spartans (-7.5)

8:00
ABC

-Why is a Delay of Game penalty always credited to the quarterback when it's the center who didn't hike the ball before the play clock expired?

-There are three games between Top 25 teams at 3:30 on Saturday.  Clemson plays at 3:30 as well.  I wonder how many people will casually tune into the Clemson game.

-Why do only defenses get "gassed"?  Offenses run around just as much as the defense.

-The College Football Playoff will expand sooner rather than later for two reasons.  1) Money!  2) Because of the exclusion of a Power 5 conference champion or an 11-1 Notre Dame.  And that will happen this season and the left out team will go nuts about it.  I would not be surprised if the playoff expands next season especially when those money-grubbing whores see how much cash this thing will bring in.  On top of an 12-1 Ohio State being left out of the playoff when an 11-2 SEC team gets in.  Mark my words.

-Considering I started 0-3 last week, I'm pretty happy I broke even, mostly thanks to South Carolina's 4th quarter collapse.  Well, I guarantee a winning week or your money back!

-Last Week's Funniest College GameDay Sign:

"GameDay was in Columbia, SC this past weekend, so their signs were all dumb.  Instead, here is a picture of one of their classy fans."

-Alright, enjoy the sixth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-3
Season Results: 16-11

Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts - Part 22

Here comes the next edition of Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts (click here to see the others).  Basically,  these are a bunch of random thoughts that came to mind that I couldn't really expand on and thought I should just make them into list form for your enjoyment.  Here goes:

• Why does VH1 own the rights to Showgirls?  They do realize that no one has ever watched that movie for its plot, right?
• Zoe Saldana might be the biggest banking actress in Hollywood.  She currently is starring in three big franchises: Avatar, Star Trek, and Guardians of the Galaxy.
• Why in the hell does ESPN show so much Little League World Series coverage?  Does anyone actually watch it?
• I believe that Channing Tatum is the next Bruce Willis.
• Before certain shows, why does FX have a warning that the show might contain Nudity when none of their shows ever actually contains nudity?
• At what point does a struggling actress give up and go to porn?
• How has NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson never been sponsored by Jimmy John's?
• The Worst Tasting Thing You Would Purposely Put in Your Mouth Award has to go to a bitten into Tylenol.
• Did you know we are only 4 years away from kids born in the year 2000 being able to vote and buy cigarettes and porn?
• The only James Bond actors I feel like could actually win in a fistfight are Sean Connery and Daniel Craig.  Sorry, Dalton, you mean seem tough, but you would go down.
• Do the marketing people at Cheez-It realize that their commercials portray the idea that they murder sentient cheese to make their product?

"That talking cheese will soon be murdered for your enjoyment."