Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Noah's Ark

Has anyone actually read the Bible?  More specifically, has anyone read the Old Testament?  During church, I used to read the Bible to stave off boredom and for the most part, the stories in that thing are pretty crazy.  There is a lot of murder, a couple of orgies, God striking people down with lightening and earthquakes, a little guy beating a giant, no actual mention of the Holy Grail, a few human sacrifices, and lots and lots of pure chaos.  But there is one story that has always confused me, the story of Noah's Ark.

Sure, I can accept that gathering two of every species on the planet somehow won't create a world of nothing but inbred animals and the end of life.  I can even accept that those same animals were able to survive on Noah's Ark for months even though they literally needed to eat one another in order to survive.  But the thing that has always confused me is where exactly did all of that water came from?  Even if all of the ice on the planet melted today, Florida would disappear but even then, the top of the Epcot's Spaceship Earth would still be above visible.  So, how was the entire Earth covered in water during Noah's adventure? I guess you could argue that God can do anything he wants, but if he drowned the entire Earth and then when the water receded, there still wouldn't be anything to eat for years and Noah and his animals would be screwed.

There wasn't much in the Old Testament that really made sense, but the story of Noah's Ark was the most odd of them all.  What exactly did God gain by wiping out mankind?  For that matter, why didn't he do it again when his son was beaten then murdered?  You would think that if He hit the reset button once, then he probably should have done it again when humans deserved it.

"That lion is already eyeing that lamb and they haven't even gotten on the boat yet, but somehow that lamb survived.  Shenanigans!"

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