Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 10

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on BCS Standings
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

USC Trojans @ Oregon State Beavers (-5)

Friday 9:00
ESPN2

#21 Michigan Wolverines (+6) @ #22 Michigan State Spartans

3:30
ABC

Georgia Bulldogs (-2.5) v. Florida Gators

EverBank Field, Jacksonville FL
3:30
CBS

#18 Oklahoma State Cowboys (+2.5) @ #15 Texas Tech Red Raiders

7:00
FOX

#7 Miami Hurricanes @ #3 Florida State Seminoles (-22)

8:00
ABC

-Is it just me or does Nevada coach Brian Polian look like.....

Former Oregon and current Philadelphia Eagles coach, Chip Kelly?

Almost spot-on, right?

-If all games were only 57 minutes long last weekend, I would have gone 4-2.  However, they unfortunately play the full 60 minutes and I put up a fucking goose egg.  0-6!  I've been doing college football picks for five years now (the first three years were on another website) and I've never had a losing season and I've definitely never thrown up a goose egg in the win column for a week.  My luck has been horrendous this year.  I've never had so many backdoor covers kill me like this and I honestly don't know what to do....but I did come up with an idea.  This week, I'm thinking about making my picks and then doing the complete opposite of that and seeing what happens.  This is where I usually tell you guys that I will have a winning week or your money back, but at this point, I'm in a funk of massive proportions and I can only guarantee that I will have a winning week or I just might go insane.

-Also, there is a real lack of good match-ups this week (half of the Top 10 teams have byes), so I'm only going with 5 games instead of the usual 6, because I just couldn't find another game that looked worthy of picking.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(There were a couple other good signs ("The Replacement Refs Did More for Seattle than Jim Mora Did"), but this is the only one that made me chuckle.)

-Alright, enjoy the tenth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 0-6
Season Results: 21-29-3

Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts - Part 9

Here comes the next edition of Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts (click here to see the others).  Basically,  these are a bunch of random thoughts that came to mind that I couldn't really expand on and thought I should just make them into list form for your enjoyment.  Here goes:

• With the release of the new movie Riddick, I guess Vin Diesel has finally come to realize his acting range is limited to only Riddick and Fast and Furious movies.
• Am I the only one that every time I reach into my mailbox I feel like I'm going to be bitten by mailbox spiders?
• I feel like the NFL shouldn't count an intercepted ball that is not directly the fault of the quarterback against said QB's stats but they should call it something else, especially in fantasy football.
• Do you think that woman with the last name the same as a state's name are considered pretentious when they keep calling themselves "Ms. [insert state name]" even though that is their name?
• Is it just me or is that Wendy's commercial redhead seem to be becoming a bigger and bigger c#$% with each new commercial?
• Why do college football fans refer to California as "California" when everyone else knows the school as either "Berkeley" or "UC-Berkeley"?
• If Hillary Clinton gets elected in 2016 and re-elected in 2020, then she and Bill will be tied with each other for the President Having Lived in the White House the Longest Award, even if they were only President only half of that time.
• I've never understood how Acting Award voters can actually judge an acting performance against another when both are completely different roles.
• Why in the hell is It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League on FXX?  Nobody gets that fucking channel and I miss those shows.
• Someone should tell Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone that they are 66 and 67 respectively and that action movies starring them are no longer believable.  Oh, I guess I just did.
• I had a blood test done recently and found out that due to a genetic trait in my blood I am pretty much a shoe-in to get Alzheimer's.  Well, that sucks.....I think, I can't remember.
• I saw a picture of Marlon Brando in his prime the other day it is blew my mind as to how I picture him from his later work.  Just look at those two pictures, the transformation is scary.

Are Comic Book Movies The New James Bond

How many Spider-Man movies have their been?  What about Batman?  Or Superman?  Or more importantly, how many more of each are we going to see in the future?  For Spider-Man, the fifth movie in the franchise will be coming out next summer with two more already set to come out 2016 and 2018.  And how many James Bond movies have there been?  The 25th will come out sometime in 2015.  So, my question is - are comic book movies setting themselves up to be like the James Bond series?  Both seem to be cranking out movie after movie.  Both have no problems getting a different actor to play the main character whenever audiences get tired of the current actor.  And both seem to make gobs of cash each time a new one comes out.  So, it really does seem to me that comic book movies are setting themselves up to make as many movies in the future as they feel like as long as people keep coming to see them.  Plus, comic book movies have tons of source material to work with when there are literally thousands of comic books based on the title characters from these movies.  I'm going to guess that yes, comic book movies are the new James Bond-like series.  As long as they don't pick a super weird story from the comic books to bring to the big screen, they could continue to make these movies for as long as they feel like no matter who is playing the hero....even if that actor is Ben Affleck.

"Spider-Man 17, Spider Harder."

Random Movie Trivia - Dumb & Dumber

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

Dumb & Dumber

• The 'Most Annoying Sound in the World' scene was improvised by Jim Carrey and the look on Jeff Daniels' face is genuine shock.
• Jim Carrey had chipped his tooth years before the movie was filmed and removed the cap to make his character look more deranged.
• Harry and Lloyd's characters are named after silent comedy icon Harold Lloyd.
• In order for Jeff Daniels to get that awesome frizzy hair, he only washed his hair with shampoo but never blow dried it or combed it.
• In the scene where Harry and Lloyd are escaping the 'gas man', you can see a man urinating on a wall in the background who was not supposed to be there.
• Film debut of Harland Williams.  He played the cop who drank Harry's pee.
• Steve Martin and Martin Short both turned down the part of Lloyd.  Rob Lowe was also up for the part but lost out to Jeff Daniels
• Jim Carrey was initially offered $700,000 to do this movie, but Ace Ventura opened the weekend of contract negotiations and debuted at no. 1 at the box office.  After that, his agent him a $7 million deal, almost half of the movie's entire budget.
• Nicolas Cage and Gary Oldman were the original choices to play the main characters.  What and what?!?!
• If Mary (Lauren Holly) had ended up marrying Lloyd, that would have meant her married name would have been Mary Christmas.
• The original ending would have been Harry and Lloyd getting on the bus full of bikini models, but Jim Carrey refused to do it and thought the two idiots passing on the opportunity would have been funnier.

"Yup, this almost happened."

Stupid State Laws - Vermont

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Vermont

"Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth."

This might be one of the rare occurrences where I agree with this law and do you want to know why?  Blow jobs.  Think about it.  What is the one huge advantage to your woman not having teeth?  That's right, she can't use them during fellatio.  I commend you, Vermont, for having the foresight to create a law that helps men everywhere with better quality head.  Thank you......however, if this law was not made because of smoking pole, then you are stupid, Vermont, and this law is retarded.

"Well, if those are the false teeth a woman is trying to buy, then I totally understand why this law was made."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  This is the newest short from SNL when Bruce Willis hosted a couple of weeks ago.  You may have seen this already, but if you haven't, you are in for a treat:

Summary:  Bruce Willis is great in this thing, his dance moves are inspiring.  And I dare you to not yell out "It's A Boy Dance Party" the next time you are hanging out with your buddies.  I double dare you.

Worst Movie Remakes

Last week, we did a list of the Best Movie Remakes.  This week, we are doing the funnier of the two lists - the worst movie remakes.  Let's do this:

• Bangkok Dangerous - I'm fairly positive no one saw this movie and therefore no one knew it was even a remake to begin with, therefore instantly making it a terrible remake.
• Bedazzled - You know what, I actually like Brendon Fraser, but I did not like this movie.  It was so silly, it was stupid and should just be forgotten it was ever (re)made.
• Clash of the Titans - Sadly, I saw this one when it was in the theater and I remember walking out of it thinking, "The special effects were kind of cool, but what a stupid pile of shit".
• Carrie - Why does this need to be remade?  I've heard of the first one but have never seen it and I'm fairly sure that if that scene where Carrie gets blood poured on her at the prom wasn't in the movie, no one would have ever remembered it.  But whatever, a remake is unnecessary and yet Hollywood is dumb and a remake was made.
• The Day the Earth Stood Still - I never saw this movie and tried to watch it once when it was on FX, but it was terrible.  Also, did you know that Jon Hamm's character dies in this movie?  That's not cool.
• Godzilla - Not only did Hollywood not learn their lesson the first time they remade this, they are making another one that is coming out next year.  The worst part is that there is no way even Bryan Cranston can save the new one.
• The Karate Kid - The kid didn't even learn karate in this one, therefore it shouldn't be called The Karate Kid and therefore sucks balls.
• The Longest Yard - Adam Sandler as a quarterback.  Try again, Hollywood.
• Planet of the Apes - Mark Wahlberg has grown on me, but this movie with its impressive cast was dumb and confusing and Marky Mark should have passed.
• Psycho - For some reason, the director did a shot-for-shot remake of the original.  What's the point of that?  You're just watching the exact same movie with a different cast and that defeats the purpose of a remake.
• Red Dawn - I never saw this one but my brother said it sucked, so it's going on this list.
• Taxi - Anything that combines Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah shouldn't have even made it past pre-production.  What in the hell were the producers thinking?
• The Wicker Man - Quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made and Nick Cage's second movie on this list.  When will he ever learn?  However, seeing him covered in bees was pretty funny.

"Any time Nick Cage sports some ridiculous hair in a movie, I feel obligated to show a picture of it."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 9

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on BCS Standings
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

#9 Clemson Tigers (-14) @ Maryland Terrapins

3:30
ESPN

#10 Texas Tech Red Raiders (+7) @ #15 Oklahoma Sooners

3:30
FOX

#12 UCLA Bruins (+23) @ #3 Oregon Ducks

7:00
ESPN

#21 South Carolina Gamecocks @ #5 Missouri Tigers (-2.5)

7:00
ESPN2

Penn State Nittany Lions (+14.5) @ #4 Ohio State Buckeyes

8:00
ABC

#6 Stanford Cardinal @ #25 Oregon State Beavers (+3.5)

10:30
ESPN

-The perfect blueprint for a team to win on the road in a hostile environment is the get the crowd out of it as soon as possible and that is exactly what Florida State did last weekend in Clemson.  I was at the game and before kickoff, the Clemson fans were going nuts.  The players ran down The Hill and then they played "We Will Rock You" (something they have never done) and every single fan was yelling out the lyrics.  The fans couldn't have been any more psyched for kickoff.  But then Clemson fumbled on the first play of the game, FSU scored a touchdown two plays later, and just like that, the crowd was deflated and the Seminoles rolled.  Would Clemson have won had they not fumbled on the first play?  Probably not, but things sure as hell snowballed after that play and the Tigers never got back into it.  Things couldn't have gone any better for Florida State and they nailed the perfect blueprint for winning on the road.  Am I bitter?  Nah, Florida State is definitely the better team and my only hope is that they go on and dethrone the evil SEC and their National Championship streak.  Screw those guys.

-So, how exactly do I make my picks?  To be honest, every single one of them is based on my gut instinct.  Yeah, I have no magic formula.  I don't look at match-ups.  I don't look at past results.  I make them based purely on how I feel about that game.  So, if you are using my picks to gamble, remember that the next time you throw a hundred bucks on a game, you might not sleep as well at night.  Mwhahaha!

-Speaking of my picks, I had my worst week of the year and for once it wasn't because of a bunch of backdoor covers, it was because I just sucked at making picks last week.  I was so bad that the only one I got right (Auburn +13 v. Texas A&M) I wanted to change but forgot to do so before last week's picks were posted.  Oh well, this week I will knock out a winning week or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(There were a lot of signs making fun of Jameis Winston (the best being "Jameis Winston Likes The Dentist") and not nearly enough signs bashing Jesse Palmer.  The one below was the best one I could find a picture of.  Also I saw a sign that said "Noles? What, Like Beyonce?" that really made me chuckle.)

-Alright, enjoy the ninth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 1-5
Season Results: 21-23-3

Don't Disrespect the Chief

As of this post, the Kansas City Chiefs are only favored by 7.5 points over the Cleveland Browns.  This is a classic Vegas game.  What possible reason could there be for that small of a spread?  Often this means Vegas knows something you don't.  Maybe the Browns have a much better defense than we think or the Chiefs offense is too vanilla to beat even a slightly above average defense.  To that I say screw it.  This is my NFL pick of the year thus far.  Chiefs minus 7.5.  Here are the reasons:

• They are the Browns - has anything good ever come from that franchise?
• Jamaal Charles is the third leading rusher and has the second most TDs for a RB
• KC's pass defense is one of the best in the NFL
• KC's rush defense is not that great, but fortunately the Browns are HORRIBLE at running the ball
• Weeden (CLE QB) is 30th in the league in passing rating and 35th in QBR
• The Chiefs turnover differential is +11.  Cleveland's is -1
• The Browns still don't know who is going to start the game at QB.  Not because they are hurt, they are just terrible.
• CLE averages 11.5 points per game under Weeden

No way the Browns score more than 13 points which means KC only needs 21 at a minimum.  I think they do it easily.  Final score 31-10 Chiefs.

"However, the Browns are no.1 in Fan Middle Fingers."

Who Is This? Part 3

Who is this?  This is an easy one....well, not really, he doesn't look anything like he used to, so I'll give you a hint - he liked Rocky Road ice cream.  Did that do it?  Okay, how about this hint - The Truffle Shuffle.  Yeah, that should have done it for you.  That up there is Jeff Cohen of The Goonies fame.  Other than his big role as Chunk, Jeff did a whole lot of nothing when it came to acting, but he is currently a big time lawyer in Hollywood, so he has that going for him.  Look at him down there, I'm bet he's glad that he lost all of that weight.

"To this day, fat kids are still subjected to the Truffle Shuffle.  And to this day, it is still hilarious every single time."

NOKW - Con Air

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Con Air

Basic Plot:  Nicolas Cage and his awesome hair battle vicious criminals aboard an airplane.  Also, Dave Chappelle is in this movie.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that it was so easy for a bunch of restrained criminals to take over an airplane full of guards.  The fact that nobody noticed Dave Chappelle leave the plane when he went to hide the plane's transponder in another plane.  The fact that nobody recognized the country's most notorious criminal, Cyrus the Virus, when he was helping bring the new inmates on the plane even if he was wearing a hood.  The fact that I actually like this movie and will watch it when it comes on.  The fact that Nick Cage stayed on the plane so that he could find Bubba some insulin was the dumbest reason ever when he could have just left the plane and instantly told someone to stop the plane because it had been taken over by criminals.  The fact that the assault force that was going after the downed plane was so easily ambushed.  The fact that no one noticed three inmates escape the crashed plane in Vegas.  The fact that nobody seemed to care that Nick Cage murdered the three escaped inmates in that Vegas chase scene, speaking of which....

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Nick Cage should never have gone to jail in the first place when he was sentenced for murder in a crime where he was clearly protecting his wife from some drunken idiots.  The military court claimed that because of his military training, he shouldn't have used such deadly force to fight off his attackers, but have they ever heard of self-defense?  I don't care how deadly his training made him, when a drunken asshole attacks you and your wife with a knife, you do whatever you have to do to protect yourself.  Let's say that he didn't use his training and was stabbed to death, I bet those same people who sent him to jail would have said "Why didn't he use his training to ward off his attackers?".  So, then why did they send him to jail when he was clearly just trying to stop some drunk dudes (who obviously were out to harm him) from assaulting his wife?  I am not okay with that.

"That hair, what can you say?  It's so......glorious."

Stupid State Laws - Utah 5

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Utah

"It is illegal not to drink milk."

My first thought when I saw this law was that those Mitt Romney sketches on SNL make sense now.  My second thought was - what?!?  This makes so little sense that I'm beyond confused.  Does this mean that the only beverage you are allowed to drink in the state of Utah is milk?  Does this mean that if you go to a restaurant the waiter doesn't ask for your drink order, they just bring you some milk?  Are stores allowed to sell only milk?  Does milk even provide you with the necessary nutrients to survive if that is the only thing you drink?  Did you know that you can't drink an entire gallon of milk in one sitting without vomiting it all back up?  That is a fact, I tried to do it once in college.  I finished off the whole gallon, thought I had succeeded where other's couldn't, started playing some Mike Tyson's Punchout, and then 15 minutes later barfed my guts out.  Wasn't college awesome?  But that's not the point.  What the hell is going on here, Utah?  I need answers and I need them now.

"She's drinking water!  Arrest her now!!!"

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Is this cat really going to jump all the way onto the ceiling light?  Hell yeah!

Summary:  Nice!  The best part is, judging by the quality of the music, they were actually playing that song when the jump occurred.  Solid.

Disecting One Small Playoff Issue

There are a lot of issues and pros and cons to the new college football playoff that will start next year.  Talking about all of them at once is a job for the pros who get paid to write long columns.  I want to address one issue, the playoff selection committee.  First things first, here is the committee.

I think people went a little too far against the computer system and wanted a human component.  Only one problem, humans are imperfect and can be affected by many other outside factors.  For instance, there is only one person with ACC ties versus other big conferences that have two or more.  How can that not be a disadvantage for the teams from the ACC?  All the members of the committee have had too much life experience with too many people not to be influenced by something.  This will be an issue not for just who will get in, but seeding also.  Honestly I would feel better about it if all the members were like Condoleezza Rice, she is probably the most unbiased member.

It is also going to be really easy to get mad at the committee when the choices they make don't go to their school.  What if there are 5 undefeated teams this year including Clemson and Clemson gets left out.  Dan Radakovich (Clemson athletic director and committee member) would be tarred and feathered by the Clemson faithful.  It is a terrible conflict of interest.

For all the faults, the BCS did provide the most comprehensive and in depth ranking system we have ever had.  It blended human rankings with statistics to rank the teams.  Why not ditch the committee and still use the computer rankings for who gets in the playoff and playoff seeding.

"OK, maybe she's biased too."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 8

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

Central Florida Knights @ #6 Louisville Cardinals (-12.5)

Fri 8:00
ESPN

#22 Florida Gators (-3) @ #14 Missouri Tigers

12:21
Not Sure

Auburn Tigers (+13) @ #7 Texas A&M Aggies

3:30
CBS

#10 UCLA Bruins (+5.5) @ #13 Stanford Cardinal

3:30
ABC/ESPN2

USC Trojans (+3) @ Notre Dame Fighting Irish

7:30
NBC

#5 Florida State Seminoles @ #4 Clemson Tigers (+3)

8:00
ABC

-How much different would football be if you only had three downs to get 10 yards?  Or what if they took away some of the dumb penalties like running into the kicker?  Or how about you had to get 15 yards for every four downs?  Okay, I think they do that last one in Canada, but you get my point.  I really wonder how different football would look if they had come up with a different set of rules when they were inventing the game back in the day.

-So, they announced that Virginia Tech will be playing Tennessee at the Bristol Motor Speedway a couple years from now.  However, look at the picture below and see if you notice the same thing I did.

Did you see it?  Yeah, every single seat in that place is horrible for watching college football.  Sure, it could hold 160,000 fans and will break the All-Time Biggest Crowd record, but none of those spectators will be able to see the game.  Maybe they should have thought that one through before giving it a green light.  Then again, whenever you can sell 160,000 tickets, they couldn't care less if the fans can see the game or not as long as they are rolling around in bundles of cash.

-I went 3-3 last week.  I can live with that.  However, I wish I had known that Georgia was missing their top two running backs and their top three receivers going into that game.  I definitely would have picked Missouri.  Oh well.  I promise a winning week this time or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(That sign was so perfectly placed.  Also, ESPN announced they are coming to Clemson for the second time this season next week and I cannot wait to see the signs bashing Jesse Palmer.  I hate that guy.)

-Alright, enjoy the eighth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-3
Season Results: 20-18-3

Rappers Turned Actors

I've noticed a disturbing trend lately - rappers who have decided to dabble into acting.  What makes these guys think they can act?  Obviously, one of their "yes" men thinks it's a good idea or their agent (who is also a "yes" man) tells them they can do it, but we all know better.  So, I compiled a quick list of the former rappers who have gone on to do TV or movies.  Oddly enough, not all of these rappers are terrible actors, but for the most part, they are really really bad.  Also, I won't be listing guys like Will Smith and Mark Wahlberg because those guys will always be actors before rappers in my book.  Let's do this:

• Ice Cube - Every time I see one of his Coors Light commercials I feel like someone should remind him that he did the family comedy Are We There Yet? and he should no longer be allowed to act 'hard'.  However, Friday was pretty good.
• Ice-T - I've never seen his Law & Order show, but I did see Leprechaun in the Hood and that should tell you everything you need to know about his 'acting' abilities.
• LL Cool J - He was surprisingly good in Any Given Sunday and Toys (even though that movie was a bucket of poop), so I'm not going to bash him.
• Vanilla Ice - Just kidding.
• Nelly - The Longest Yard remake was the only thing I ever saw him do and that movie can kiss my ass.  Did they really think they could make us believe that Adam Sandler was a quarterback?
• Queen Latifah - Did you know her real name is Dana Owens?  Yeah, anyone who willingly changes their name to Queen Latifah should never go into acting, let along get their own talk show.  Yeah, she has her own talk show now.
• 50 Cent - I can barely understand what he is saying when he raps, what makes him think that that will translate to movies?
• Snoop Dogg - I don't give a damn that he calls himself Snoop Lion now, he will always be Snoop Dogg to me.  Also, Soul Plane.  Yikes.
• Mos Def - The last three on this list are the only acceptable rappers turned actors that I feel like have some actual acting talent.  While people didn't like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you can't blame Mos Def for that, he was pretty good.
• Ludacris - Yes, that's how he spells 'Ludicrous', but whatever, this guy actually was pretty good in the (undeserving) Oscar-winner Crash.  We'll just forget that he keeps doing those Fast and Furious movies, they suck.
• Andre 3000 - Outkast was and is one of the greatest rap groups ever and therefore we will overlook the fact that Andre Benjamin is a mediocre actor.

"Oddly enough, Snoop might be the second best actor in this photo.  You decide who is the worst."

Best Movie Remakes

I was watching TV the other day and saw a commercial for the new movie, Carrie, and got to thinking - do we really need a remake of Carrie?  Also, if they are going to remake that movie, what exactly are the best movie remakes that Hollywood knocked out?  And for that matter, what are the worst movie remakes (which we will delve into next week!)?  So, here are the best movie remakes, at least, the remakes that I think are tolerable:

• 3:10 to Yuma - Other than the fact that a Brit and an Aussie played the two main cowboy characters, this movie was pretty good.  Still an odd casting choice no matter if those two actors are really really good.
• Bad News Bears - Come on, this is a tough movie to remake because of how lovable it was, but Billy Bob Thornton played a great drunk kids baseball coach.  The kid actors were pretty good, too.
• Dawn of the Dead - Of all fictional movie monsters, zombies freak me out the most because I've always felt that they are the most likely to actually happen.  That's all.
• The Departed - Who in the hell saw Leo's death coming in this movie?  It was so violent and so sudden that it made this movie worth it to me.
• The Fly - Jeff Goldblum as a human fly hybrid, what more can you ask for?
• The In-Laws - I actually own this movie.  I thought it was hilarious and starred Ryan Reynolds before he started making terrible movie decisions.
• The Italian Job - I think the only reason I liked this movie is because of Charlize Theron.  So hot.
• Little Shop of Horrors - 'Feed me, Seymour!'.  I honestly didn't even know this was a remake until I was compiling this list, but this movie was awesome.  Also, I miss Rick Moranis.
• Ocean's Eleven - Sure, the sequels sucked, but the first remake wasn't that bad.
• The Ring - I'm not a big horror movie fan, but this movie was actually pretty good and if I like a horror movie then it must have been a good remake.
• The Thomas Crown Affair - This movie was great and that final scene with all of the dudes in bowler hats was awesome especially with that song.  The only problem with this movie was that they thought it would be a good idea to show us Rene Russo's boobs, which just weren't that great, even if they were boobs.
• The Toy - Remember this movie?  Richard Pryor is purchased by a rich guy to be his spoiled brat's toy and every scene in this movie was hilarious because of Pryor.....which can't be said of Superman III.
• True Lies - Raise your hand if you didn't like this movie.  I dare you.  The only problem I had with this movie was that they cast Arnold as an American spy, that seems wrong even if he was great in this movie.

"However, sexy zombies are a different matter.  I would let her eat my brains."

Random Movie Trivia - Titanic

Here is the next edition in our weekly Random Movie Trivia post.  Enjoy:

Titanic

• The studio wanted Matthew McConaughey for the lead role, but director James Cameron pushed for Leonardo DiCaprio.  Proving once again, Hollywood execs are stupid.
• Macaulay Culkin was also considered for the part of Jack.  Christian Bale auditioned for the role but Cameron didn't want two Brits playing the lead American roles.
• James Cameron has gone down to the real Titanic so much that he has spent more time in its presence than the passengers of that fateful voyage.
• When Leo is preparing to draw Kate Winslet, he tells her to "lie on that bed, I mean couch".  The line was scripted as "lie on that couch" but Leo messed it up, but Cameron liked the mistake and left it in.
• For the most part, the entire interior of the Titanic was built exactly the same as the real one except for little alterations here and there.  One such alteration was that the staircase was larger because people in the 1910's were on average shorter than today and it would have looked strange had they left it the same size.
• A full-size replica of the Titanic was built in a tank in Mexico for the movie.  The start of construction started on the 75th anniversary of the ship's sinking.
• They actually flooded the entire set for the epic sinking scene and only had one try at it because the water destroyed the whole set.
• On the final night of filming in Nova Scotia, some pranksters slipped PCP into that night's cast and crew's dinner.  80 people got sick and 50 people were taken to the hospital because of hallucinations.  James Cameron forced himself to vomit before the drug could take effect and Bill Paxton felt the ill effects for two weeks afterwards.  The culprits were never caught.
• The budget of this movie ($200 million) was more than the inflated cost of the Titanic ($150 million).
• This movie is the most Oscar-nominated movie (14 nominations) to not win in any acting categories.
• Kate Winslet got pneumonia while filming the water scenes and almost quit but Cameron talked her into staying.
• Rose says "Jack" 80 times in the movie and Jack says "Rose" 50 times.
• After finding out that she had to pose nude in front of Leo, Kate Winslet decided to break the ice early on and flashed him off-set.
• Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman, Madonna, Jodie Foster, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, and Sharon Stone were all considered for the part of Rose.
• The movie stayed in the theaters so long that Paramount had to send replacement reels of the film to theaters because the originals wore out.
• Billy Zane was cast after James Cameron saw him in The Phantom.  What?!?!
• Robert De Niro was offered the part of Captain Smith but had to turn it down because of illness.
• James Cameron met his fifth wife, Suzy Amis, on the set.  Of all of his marriages, this one lasted the longest.  Notice I didn't say it lasted.

"Yeah, this movie almost went from the 2nd highest grossing movie of all-time to a piece of shit."

Stupid State Laws - Utah 4

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Utah

"A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence."

You know this law was made by a female senator who wanted to take her cheating husband down, no matter what happened to her in the process.  Seriously, why else would this law exist?  Here are the facts - women are crazy and are so crazy that they would go to jail just to take down their man so they could prove their point.  Also, I feel like this law sets all equality laws back to dark ages.  Wasn't that the whole point of equal rights?  So, this law proves that some crazy lady had a vendetta and this was her crazy plan to achieve her vendetta.  Damn you, Utah, you should have seen what that crazy lady was up to.

"Alright, lady, you killed four hobos so you are under arrest.  Now, where is your husband?"

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Do you guys remember one of the greatest video games ever made by the name of Chrono Trigger?  Now, what would happen if somebody updated that game to today's level of graphics?  Imagine no more.

Summary:  Yeah, that looks fucking awesome.  The guy making it is not done yet, but when he's done, I will be first in line to get a copy.  Hopefully in the new version defeating Magus won't be nearly as tough...then again, that was one of the best parts of the game.

Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts - Part 8

Here comes the next edition of Truly Random Brainfart Thoughts (click here to see the others).  Basically,  these are a bunch of random thoughts that came to mind that I couldn't really expand on and thought I should just make them into list form for your enjoyment.  Here goes:

• Why do movie commercials tell you that they are showing you a "sneak peek" of their movie when it really is just one of that movie's trailers?
• Do you think terrorists watch Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down (two movies about the White House being taken over) as training videos?
• Do you think that I just got red-flagged by the FBI because of that last statement?
• I still don't understand why we park in driveways and drive on parkways.
• Dear ESPN, if you are showing a game on Thursday, calling it "Monday Night Football" makes no sense.
• Did you know that Gene Hackman's last movie was 2004's Welcome to Mooseport?
• I'll one up that last one.  Can you believe that Sean Connery's last movie was in 2003?  And that that movie was The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?  Ouch.
• Remember when everyone thought that the Denver Broncos were crazy when they signed Peyton Manning and traded Tim Tebow?  Manning had 7 TD's in his first game this season and Tebow couldn't even make a team as the 3rd string quarterback.  Ha.
• My life's goal is to one day say this phrase - "Excuse me gentlemen, but I have an appointment to go helicopter shopping".
• Is anyone else disturbed that Michael Jordan keeps murdering sentient shirt tags in those Hanes commercials?
• I hate dust.
• What do dogs dream about that causes them to bark in their sleep?  My dog does this all the time and I really want to know what's going on in her dream.
• Did you know Selena Gomez is 21?  Look at that picture below, she looks like she is fucking 12.

"No way is she 21."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 7

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

Rutgers Scarlet Knights (+19) @ #8 Louisville Cardinals

Thur 7:30
ESPN

Missouri Tigers (+8) @ #7 Georgia Bulldogs

12:00
ESPN

#10 Oklahoma Sooners (-14) v. Texas Longhorns

Cotton Bowl, Dallas TX
12:00
ABC

#17 Florida Gators @ #11 LSU Tigers (-7)

3:30
CBS

#18 Northwestern Wildcats (+10.5) @ Wisconsin Badgers

3:30
ABC

#2 Oregon Ducks (-13.5) @ #19 Washington Huskies

4:00
Fox Sports 1

-I have a feeling that we have seen the end of Conference Realignment and for one very big reason - it is giving student-athletes leverage in their cause to be paid.  Look at this very simple equation:

Conference Realignment = Bigger TV Deals = More Money for Schools = Colleges Should Have to Pay Players with that much Money Rolling Around

Look at it this way, Texas made over $70 million in profit last year.  Not revenue, but profit.  That's after paying for the volleyball teams' travel expenses, golf equipment, wrestling mats, etc.  $70 million.  And where is that money going?  I have no idea, but it's not going to the players that are providing the product on the field.  Basically, every time a conference brings in a new team, they get to renegotiate their TV contract, and every time they renegotiate their TV contract, conferences make even more money and that large number is published for the world to see including the players who are looking to get paid.  Therefore, realignment will probably cease for awhile until the court cases are settled.  Then in all likelihood, all hell will break loose again.

-Personally, I think college players should be paid when schools are making so much money off of the games that these players are playing.  The only problem I have with paying players is that only a couple of the players on each team are worth more than the free education, books, housing, etc that given to them when given a full ride.  So, should a back-up long-snapper on scholarship be making as much as Johnny Football?  No, and that is the only thing that colleges can argue when it comes time to finally pony up the cash that they are making.

-Damn it, this is the second week in a row that three teams scored in the final minutes to swing it to where I went from winning three picks to losing three picks.  I am getting killed on these backdoor covers.  Just once I would like to actually have one of these backdoor covers go in my favor.  The worst one by far was the Ohio State game.  I had that one wrapped up and then Ohio State scored a meaningless defensive touchdown as time expired to give me a loss.  So gay.  Well, I promise to get luckier this week or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(It's so true.  There was also another sign that said "Kanye Named His Baby After Us" that made me chuckle and would have won if it didn't pertain to something that involves Kanye's whore of a wife.  And there was another sign that read "Show Us Your Tats" that made me laugh.  If you don't get that, Google "Ohio State Tattoos Scandal".)

-Alright, enjoy the seventh week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 2-4
Season Results: 17-15-3

Why Can't I Get Out of Walmart?

Why the hell are the Entrance and Exit doors at Walmart the opposite from the rest of the country?  Everything in America is based on doing stuff on the right.  Drive on the right.  Emergency turn on the right.  First in flight was the Wright brothers.  So why does Walmart put their entrance on the left?  Now I am walking across people leaving to get in the store - and that is if everyone is doing it correctly.  I can only assume that this was done because of a multi-million dollar study designed to make everyone spend an extra penny thus making the owners billions of dollars.  Jerks.  Here is how I see it.  The executives figure that people are nervous/scared/embarrassed to go to Walmart because they are feeding the man and putting all little mom and pop shops out of business so before you go in they want to shake you up a little to forget those bad things.  They do this by making you run into people.  I would not be surprised if the supply closet also has 'women's restroom' on it just to mess you up even more.  When you get in the store you are disoriented into buying a 1,000 bars of soap instead of the one bar you needed.  It's .007 cents less per bar - how can you pass this up?  That is the thinking that running into people causes.  Clearly thinking people do not care about these things and actually consider how you will store 1,000 bars of soap.  Stupid Walmart.  I hate you.

"Idiots."

Movies Sequels, Prequels, and More Part 7

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original.  In this case, we will be looking at all of the video games that are in production to become movies:

• Devil Wears Prada 2 - Technically, the novel is still being written, but come on, this movie made a ton of money and won a lot of awards, there will be another movie coming shortly.  Oddly enough, I actually liked the first one and will probably see this one, too.
• Naked Gun Remake - No.  Bad Hollywood!  You cannot remake this movie and get away with it.  The worst part is you know that those idiots who write the [insert genre here] Movie movies will probably write this one, instantly making it terrible.
• A Time to Kill 2 - Just like The Devil Wears Prada 2, this one is still in the writing stage by author John Grisham.  And just like Prada Devil, it made a ton of money and will be made into a movie.
• Escape From New York Remake - Okay, I will admit that this one has potential only because the technology is there to make a visually acceptable movie.  Admit it, the graphics in the first movie were terrible.  However, you can only guess that whoever they cast to play Snake Plissken will be a mistake.
• The Adventures of Tintin 2 - Do we really need another one of these?  The answer is no, but kids will go see it therefore they will make it.
• Pitch Perfect 2 - Tween girls are stupid and spend their money on stupid movies just like they did on the first movie in this series and that means they have to make another one so that tween girls will then spend more money.  It's a viscous cycle.
• The Last Symbol - Also known as DaVinci Code 3.  I read this book and it was definitely the worst in the series.  Considering that Angels & Demons was such an awesome book and that movie sucked, this movie will beyond terrible.
• Finding Nemo 2 - Sure, why not.
• Bourne 5 - The previous four in the series made a lot of money, even the one without Matt Damon, so a fifth one was inevitably.  However, the fourth one's plot was really dumb, hopefully they get a better script this time.
• Ted 2 - I was really disappointed when I finally got around to seeing this movie.  It wasn't as funny as I thought it could have been.  But if they bring back Flash Gordon to do more hilarious stuff, maybe it can redeem itself.

"Good news - with a 3rd Robert Langdon movie, we might get to see Tom Hanks and that ridiculous haircut again!"

NOKW - Home Alone

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Home Alone

Basic Plot:  The McCallisters leave for vacation but forget that brat of kid behind who then does what any kid would do if left alone, he foils a couple of neighborhood burglars.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that no matter how fast you have to leave the house and no matter how many people you have going on vacation, there is no way you forget a kid.  The fact that if a kid as young as Kevin was portrayed to be was left home alone that he would definitely seek someone out because there is no way he would have known how to feed himself.  The fact that the thieves thought flooding people's homes after robbing them made any sense.  The fact that people think this movie is one of the best Christmas movies ever made, no chance, this movie is mediocre compared to A Christmas Story and Die Hard.  The fact that Kevin was able to set up so many booby traps and not set off a single one himself.  The fact that Kevin was able to set up a zip line from his house to his tree house by himself.  The fact that the bad guys were able to keep moving after taking so much physical damage to themselves, seriously, a hot iron to the head would make me quit trying to catch that little bastard right away.  The fact that the crazy old guy was able to take the bad guys out so easily when Kevin's house of horrors couldn't.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Kevin's parents don't constantly call the cops or neighbors until someone goes and finds their kid.  Honestly, they call the cops once, the cops go by the house and don't find anything, so Kevin's parents don't bother to pester the cops until they do find him.  It's not like Kevin could be anywhere else, they left him home (alone).  And sure, most of their neighbors are out of town also which is why Joe Pesci and that other guy are robbing everyone else, but do they not have any other friends who live nearby that know Kevin and to whom he would open the door for?  And what about the old creepy guy who ends up saving Kevin at the end of the movie?  He's at home.  Sure, Kevin's parents may not know him that well, but at least he is nearby and they could call him to go by and check on the kid.  But no, they give up on this easy solution to their problem and decide to try and make it home to find him themselves.  Hell, if they called the house enough, I'm sure Kevin would have eventually picked up the damn phone.  I am not okay with that.

"How do they keep falling for these booby traps?  After the first one, I wouldn't touch anything without checking to see if it had a hot iron attached to it or something."

Stupid State Laws - Utah 3

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Salt Lake City, Utah

"No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin."

Come on, Utah, this makes no sense whatsoever.  I could see walking on the street with a beer in a paper bag as being a crime, but a violin?  Why the hell not?  I've racked my brain to come up with any silly possible scenario in which this could be illegal and I honestly can't think of anything.  And if I can't come up with something stupid, then this law should not exist.  Period.  In what universe is carrying a violin in a paper bag a bad thing?  Does this mean it is okay to walk down the street with a violin not wrapped in anything?  And if that is not illegal, then why is carrying a violin in a paper bag bad?  Utah, get your shit together, this law is so stupid it pisses me off.

"It checks out, it's not paper.  You got lucky....this time."

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Dad makes Vines about being an everyday superhero father.

Summary:  I bet his wife is super pissed she bought him that mask.  Maybe it was for Halloween but it was expensive so he wanted to get more use out of it to make it worth it.  I also wonder how many of these he had to get enough good ones to fill up 3 minutes - I'm guessing 1000.  Bravo, dad - way to make boring fathering fun.

Don't Bench me Bro!

Being a college or NFL football coach has to get really stressful.  Your whole career is controlled by young kids playing a game.  Your career has a three-year shelf-life unless you are really good.  Even Mark Richt at Georgia gets second guessed all the time even though he has won 9 or 10 games at least for a thousand years now.  A few bad bounces and you go from hero to fired.  One of the easiest ways to lose games in any level of football is turnovers. 

Outside of QBs, the main culprits of this are when a running back fumbles because they touch the ball much more often than anyone else. You can teach guys how to hold the ball correctly and other techniques to prevent fumbling, and you can even go to extremes to stress how important it is to hold onto the ball, but sometimes fumbles happen.  That is when some coaches go off the rails and get mad at their players and sometimes even bench them for fumbling.  We have seen this in two big cases this year - Stephen Ridley for the Patriots and David Wilson for the Giants.  My question for the coaches is this: Do you think they want to fumble?  Do you think they weren't actively trying not to fumble?  They know how important every game is.  They get paid on their performance just like you except no one else can bail them out.  I would argue fumbling hurts the player much much more than the coach.  If that is the case and the player knows fumbling cannot continue to happen then why would the coaches bench their best players?  It makes no sense.  Ridley and Wilson are clearly the most talented and explosive backs on their teams.  By not using them coaches are hurting their teams' chances of winning.  The craziest part is they really haven't even failed yet - they haven't had time to!  They both got benched after one or two fumbles and then the coach assumes that it will continue.  Why not find out at least, it might be an aberration.  If they fumbled in the middle of the year you wouldn't bench them.  Makes no sense. 

So coaches, play your best players and if the turnovers get out of hand then bench the guy.  Until then, enjoy the good runs.  (I wrote this because I have both Ridley and Wilson on my fantasy team and it is killing me.)

"Butts - the number one cause of fumbles by idiots."

Weekly Picks of the Week - Week 6

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on Coaches Poll
All lines provided by BETONLINE.ag

Maryland Terrapins (+15) @ #8 Florida State Seminoles

12:00
ESPN

#6 Georgia Bulldogs @ Tennessee Volunteers (+10.5)

3:30
CBS

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets @ #14 Miami Hurricanes (-5)

3:30
ESPNU

TCU Horned Frogs @ #10 Oklahoma Sooners (-10)

7:00
FOX

#3 Ohio State Buckeyes @ #15 Northwestern Wildcats (+7)

8:00
ABC

#18 Washington Huskies @ #5 Stanford Cardinal (-7)

10:30
ESPN

-One of my favorite story lines this season has been the Heisman chances of Jadeveon Clowney.  Before the season, ESPN had him ranked as their leading candidate to win the coveted award by a good margin.  Two weeks later, he didn't even receive a single vote in their poll.  Sure, I'm slightly biased because he plays for Clemson's rival, but this proves once again that ESPN loves to push certain teams and players down our throat so hard that those teams/players have no chance to succeed to those standards.  I feel sorry for Johnny Football.  If he has one bad game, everyone but ESPN will jump all over him, calling him terrible and tearing his game apart.  Also, Louisville's Teddy Bridgewater has zero chance of winning the Heisman only because I can't even name two teams in his conference.  Remember Case Keenum?  He put up video game-like numbers (5,631 yds, 48 TDs and only 5 INTs his senior year) for Houston and because his conference sucked, he didn't win.  Same thing will happen to Teddy.  The good news is that he will probably be drafted first overall in the draft, so he has that going for him.

-Has a wealthy kid ever not taken a scholarship so that that scholarship can go to someone who needs it adding depth to the team?  Kind of like a professional taking less money so that his team can sign better players (not that that has happened lately, only Tom Brady and Chipper Jones come to mind).  Take Johnny Manziel for example.  That kid's family has a lot of money and can easily afford to pay his tuition.  So, why doesn't he just have his family pay his way to school and then give his scholarship to a kid who could actually use it, thus helping his team build better depth?  I really feel like this should happen but I have never heard of such a thing actually occurring.

-I got hosed last week with my picks.  Georgia and Wisconsin both scored in the final minutes making both games a push and Central Florida scored in the final minutes to get a backdoor cover.  So, instead of going 4-2, I ended up 1-3-2.  Such horseshit.  Well, I promise to have a winning week this time or your money back.

The Funniest Sign From Last Week's College GameDay

(Also, I saw at sign at the Clemson game that said "Everyone Smack Palmer Nov.14".  Because I said last week that Jesse Palmer is college football's worst announcer, that sign really made me laugh.  He'll be calling the Georgia Tech v. Clemson game on Nov. 14th and I really hope everyone actually smacks him.)

-Alright, enjoy the sixth week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 1-3-2
Season Results: 15-11-3