Red Dawn

If you didn't know, a re-make of the great 80's flick Red Dawn comes out tomorrow.  And if you are anything like me, you probably have zero interest in seeing a re-make of a movie that had such a ridiculous premise to begin with.  But that's not the point.  If you have never seen Red Dawn, then the basic plot is about the Russians successfully invading America and a group of teenagers hiding in the woods, revolting, killing some Russians, getting killed themselves, and all while yelling "Wolverines".  In the re-make, I'm assuming the plot is the same except it is the North Koreans who invade (it was supposed to be China but they changed it b/c the studios didn't want to offend such a large movie-going market. Seriously) and instead of Patrick Swayze and a young, not crazy Charlie Sheen, it stars the guy who played Thor, the guy who played Peeta from The Hunger Games, and a couple of token hotties.  Well, in a recent trailer I watched for the re-make, they show a scene where one of the stars of the movie, played by Chris Hemsworth (aka Thor and the only main actor in this movie born before the release of the original), says "For them this is just some place.  For us, this is our home".  Does anybody else find this unsettling?  If you don't, then you should know that Chris Hemsworth is Australian, so when he is referring to America as his "home", I find it disturbing because Hollywood has no worthy young American actors that can play the role of badass and they had to outsource the part to an Australian.  I know I have talked about the lack of American Action Stars before, but do you know why America has no young actors who can play a badass?  The answer - Tween girls.

Because of tween girls, Hollywood hires nothing but young, pretty-boy actors to star in all of their stupid vampire movies that the new crop of young actors are more likely to break a nail than kill a bad guy if they were holding a gun.  And because Hollywood only hires pretty boys, it seems as if the rest of America no longer cares to produce young actors who will grow up to be the next Bruce Willis or even the next Matt Damon.  Think about it.  Who are currently the top American actors under 30?  When I did a little research, I compiled a list and it wasn't pretty (well, technically it was).

• Zac Efron - three words.  High.  School.  Musical.
• Shia LeBouef - sure, he was in a couple action movies, but he was running for his life the whole time in each flick.
• Taylor Lautner - one word.  Twilight.
• Josh Hutcherson - too short (5'5), his ceiling is Tom Cruise and that's not saying much.
• Jesse Eisenberg - I actually like this guy, but he has a zero percent chance of becoming an action star.

What do all of those guys on that list have in common?  They are all pansies.  Otherwise, all of the rest of the top actors under 30 are either British or Australian.  So, because tween girls crave skinny pretty boys and Hollywood has no problem giving that to them, those dumb teenagers are directly causing the wussification of America.  And because America can't produce any young worthy action stars, Hollywood has to outsource all of those roles to foreigners.  Thanks a lot, Tweeners, you are killing the future of the American Badass.

"This is Adrianne Palicki, she is in the re-make and she is American.  USA!  USA!  USA!"