Baseballs

Did you know that every baseball that Major League Baseball uses has mud rubbed all over it?  It's true, they literally take every brand new baseball they buy and then rub a special, top-secret mud on them in order to take the "shine" off each baseball.  And when I say "top-secret", I mean no one other than the owner of the company that sells it knows exactly where this mud comes from except that its source is somewhere in New Jersey (which makes sense).  Now, you are probably asking yourself - why do they use this particular mud and not just any random mud you can find on the side of the road?  The answer is quite simple, they have used other mud and this mud has produced the best results.  The other "rubs" they have tried either damaged the baseballs or discolored them.  So in other words, if you have ever caught a foul ball or a homerun at a baseball game, you have now probably been infected by some scary STD from New Jersey due to the mud rubbed all over it.  Well, that's all I've got, it's Sunday, sue me.

"What team does she pull for?  The correct answer is - I have no idea, I never looked up."