Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Sequels, Prequels, Remakes, and More Part 5

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original:
  • Men in Black 4 - As confusing as the third one was, I feel like making a fourth one will only make this franchise that much stupider.  Then again, this only proves my theory that Hollywood truly has run out of ideas.
  • 21 Jump Street 2 - Channing Tatum and Johan Hill didn't look like high schoolers in the first movie, so making another one three years later makes even less sense.
  • Mission Impossible 5 - How old is Tom Cruise?  He has to be getting pretty close to where he is too old and no longer being a believable super spy.
  • Angry Birds - Sure, why not?  They might as well milk as much cash out of this game while they can, but it's set to come out in 2016, so will anyone even still be playing the game by then for the studio to even sell tickets?  Plus, what in the hell is the plot of this movie going to be?
  • Rio 2 - You know, this will be the sequel about two birds doing stuff in Rio.  Kids will go see it I guess.
  • Hot Tub Time Machine 2 - I enjoyed the first one, but is a second one really necessary?  And will it be the same guys going back in time again?  This has a Hangover 2 feel to it.
  • Haunted House 2 - This obviously is the new crappy franchise that has replaced the Scary Movie movies.  You already know this won't be the last one.
  • Godzilla Remake - For some reason Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston is in this thing and it will be hitting theaters sometime next year.  The good news is that it can't possibly be as bad as that piece of shit starring Matthew Broderick.
  • Fast and Furious 7 - Yeah, they are making another one and it is coming out next summer, one year after the sixth one.  Who keeps going to these things allowing them to keep making more?
  • Resident Evil 6 - Does Milla Jovovich get any work other than these movies anymore?  I guess not and that's why she must be forcing the studios to keep making them.
  • Night at the Museum 3 - First off, this one's subtitle is "Brother From Another Mother".  What does that even mean?  Will Ben Stiller be getting another security guard who also happens to be his brother.....from another mother?
  • Horrible Bosses 2 - The only funny part about the first movie was Colin Farrell, but they killed his character, therefore this movie will suck.  Plus, how is it possible that these guys got more terrible bosses?  You think they would have learned their lesson.
"What is he looking at?  A naked chick?  I wanna see!"

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