Monday, June 24, 2013

NOKW - Star Wars VI

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Basic Plot:  Something about space wizards, space rebels, and space bears.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that they show robots being tortured in Jabba's palace as if robots can feel pain.
The fact that Luke seems to become an expert at all things Jedi since the last movie when it took every other Jedi years to master the Force.  The fact that big hairy guy cried over losing his Rancor when there is no way that thing knew who he was or if he was dinner or not.  The fact that Luke's plan to save Han involved having everyone get captured and almost killed by Jabba the Hutt and not just paying the ransom which would have been infinitely easier.  That fact that there is no way a Sarlacc could grow that large let alone survive in an environment that provides zero subsistence unless Jabba the Hutt throws him some prisoners every once in a while.  The fact that Boba Fett went out like such a bitch.  The fact that for the longest time I pronounced it Hans Solo and not Han Solo.  The fact that Ewoks exist.  The fact that the Empire had a spy amongst the rebels and spoiled their surprise attack and the rebels didn't have any spies to tell them that their plan was actually a trap.  The fact that killing the Emperor wouldn't solve the galaxy's problems, it would only create a bloody power vacuum that would last for years.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that who ever is funding to make the Death Star would ever give the Empire more money to build a second Death Star after the first one was destroyed so easily.  Sure, the Empire can probably strong arm some people into giving them funding, but think about the insurance on something like the Death Star especially after the first one blew up.  Those premium payments would bankrupt even the richest regime in the universe.  Oh, and I just looked this up, the first Death Star was only 160 km wide while the second one was 900 km wide.  That's almost SIX times larger.  That means that you will have at least ten times the building materials needed (if not a lot more because I really have no idea the math behind something like this).  The budget on this thing would be enormously bigger than the budget for the first one.  And let's not forget about the loss of life after the first one blew up.  Would you want to work on the second one?  No.  I do know that the second Death Star had over two million people working there when it blew up, that's a lot of people.  Plus, you would have to imagine that the first Death Star was employed by the best and brightest in the Empire, so the second one would be staffed by the JV squad after the Varsity squad blew up.  I don't care how far-reaching the Empire is, there is no way that someone would front the cash for a second Death Star after a rag-tag team of rebels blew up the first one.  I am not okay with that.

"Plus how exactly does this thing fly?  I don't see anything on the there that looks like a propulsion system?"

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