NOKW - The Truman Show

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  The Truman Show

Basic Plot:  A dude unknowingly has his ENTIRE life filmed 24/7 and it is broadcast as reality television, but he eventually figures it out and escapes.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that people thought watching a normal guy doing everyday stuff was good TV.  The fact that holding a person against his will and filming him without consent didn't get the creators of The Truman Show instantly arrested.  The fact that it took Truman 30 years to figure out that something was really strange about his life and that everyone around him was acting.  The fact that the creators of the show were able to keep Truman in his town for so long without him becoming suspicious.  The fact that more people didn't try and put a stop to this insane experiment of a TV show.  The fact that the creator of the show actually tried to kill Truman on live TV and probably will not be arrested for his attempted murder.  The fact that his life will be way worse off by leaving his fake life because he will be the most recognizable person on the planet and will never get a moment's peace like he would have if he stayed on the show.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that there is no way that the creators of the show will ever be able to recoup the cost of Truman's fake town.  The creators of the show literally built an entire town called Seahaven and put it in a massive dome that can be seen from space.  The town and dome alone had to have cost billions and on top of that, they have the technology to control the weather which can't be cheap.  And sure, the show is on the air for 30 years, so maybe they would be able to get back their investment through advertisements, but think about the other costs that go into the show.  Each person in that entire town is an actor and therefore that is an entire town's worth of people who they have to pay a yearly salary.  Then there are the maintenance costs for each building and what about the security of making sure people did not try and sneak into a structure that is so large that you can see it from the International Space Station.  Add all that up and I have no idea how this show even got past the budgeting stage of pre-production.  I am not okay with that.

"That's just his street and that alone would cost a lot, but they built a town in a bubble that can be seen from fucking outer-space and that would cost billions."

Stupid State Laws - Minnesota

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Minnesota

"Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head."
and
"A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head."

I had to include both of those laws because they are so similar and because they are both equally ridiculous.  I guess the first question is - why would anyone want or need to walk around with a duck or chicken on their head?  Was that an old-timey fashion statement that thankfully didn't catch on?  Seriously, what in the hell would possess someone to think "Hey, you know what would work better than a hat?  A duck!"?  On top of that, how do you even get the chicken or duck to stay up there?  It's not like it's the flattest of surfaces and you will be walking around so it will be next to impossible for it to sit still without ripping out half of your hair.  In fact, I think the state of Minnesota was on to something.  They said to themselves "This stupidity of people with ducks on their heads has to stop, let's make a law that you can't do it anymore in our great state".  I applaud you, Minnesota.

"Now go forth in the world, new graduate of Duck on your Head University.  And remember to always wear this duck on your head.....except in Minnesota, they are our sworn enemies and will throw you in jail just for our beliefs."

NFL Awesome Picks Spectacular - Playoffs Week 1

Because we here at Brainfarts love us some football, we decided that we would not only be doing college football picks each week, but we would also be doing some NFL picks, too. So, here is where I make my NAPS (NFL Awesome Picks Spectacular):

Picks are in red

All lines are provided by Sportsbook.ag

Cincinnati Bengals (+4.5) at Houston Texans (UNDER 43)

Saturday 4:30

- The Bengals defense has been on fire in the second half of the year.  They are the number one pass defense in the NFL over that span.  The Texans are struggling coming into the playoffs and their bread and butter, Foster, seems to be off.  This game should be a defensive battle that I think the Bengals can win outright but we will take the 4.5.

Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers (-8) (OVER 46)

Saturday 8:00

- The Pack get Cobb back to boost the offense and even in the bitter cold, Rodgers should lead the offense to victory.  The Vikings have played well but there just isn't enough behind Peterson.  Of all the playoff QBs I would worry about in the playoffs, Ponder is number one.

Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens (-7) (OVER 47)

Sunday 1:00

- The Ravens are flying under the radar for the playoffs but they have a great RB and a solid team around him.  That is usually the recipe for playoff success especially against a rookie quarterback that struggles away from home.  Luck will try to back-door cover but Ray Rice will salt the game away with a late TD.

Seattle Seahawks (-3) at Washington Redskins (UNDER 46)
Sunday 4:30

- RG3 has been great this year, but he is still a little limited by his leg injury and has not beaten a lot of great defenses.  The Hawks are one of the most solid teams on both sides of the ball.  Their defense is getting back their top corner back and has been smothering against the run.  On offense, Wilson has been better than RG3 the last month and has done it through the air while leaning on Lynch for the ground game.  It has been a nice story for the Redskins this year but I see a double digit victory for Seattle in this one.

Last Week's Results: 3-3

Season Results: 36-42-2

Movie Review - Django Unchained

As I always like to do after seeing a good movie, here is my review and recommendation of a new movie release:

Going into Django Unchained, I understood it was supposed to be funny but fairly gory.  After seeing the movie, I can agree that it was very funny but far from gory.  Bloody?  Yes.  Gory?  Not a bit.  When someone uses the word "gory", I imagine gross-looking open wounds and body parts lying all over the place, but this movie had none of that.  Hell, at one point a character is blown up with dynamite and Tarantino didn't even have blood splatter all over the place like he did in every other fight scene in the movie, which by the way was awesome.

As for Tarantino, Django Unchained contained most of his usual stuff - great story telling, 10 minute scenes that would only be 30 seconds in any other movie, writing in his own cameo, and odd dialogue.  However, this was the first Tarantino movie that I can remember that is told in a 100% linear fashion.  In other words, it didn't start somewhere and then jump all over the place in time and I kept waiting for a flashback or flash-forward, but it just never happened.  And for how Django ranks amongst other Tarantino flicks, I would say it falls somewhere in the same league as Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill: Vol. 1, so that is some high praise.

Next up, we have to discuss the cast.  Did you know that Tarantino had Will Smith in mind when he wrote the part of Django?  Well, it's true and I couldn't be happier that Smith turned it down because Jamie Foxx was incredible and I don't think Will Smith could have played that role nearly as well (Will Smith's angry face isn't very convincing and Jamie Foxx's is).  Also, Christoph Waltz was his usual awesome self and it was refreshing to see him play a good guy instead of a villain for once.  And speaking of the villain, Leonardo DiCaprio did an absolutely great job as the evil southern plantation owner.  If he doesn't get an Oscar nomination, I will be shocked because this character was the complete opposite of what he usually plays.  But the best performance of the movie was definitely Samuel L. Jackson (did you know he is 64 years old?). You will have to see the movie to understand how awesome he truly was in this flick.  Also, there was a cameo by Jonah Hill and the scene he was in might have been the funniest scene of the whole movie.

Lastly, I'm going to go ahead and give this movie the "Most Times The N-Word Was Said in Movie History Award".  Seriously, they drop the N-Word like it is going out of style.  Then again, it was set in 1858 when owning slaves was the norm, so that was just how people probably talked back then (I did not research this).  In any case, they used it so often that you just became numb to it after awhile, kind of like 90's rap.

I am going to go ahead and suggest that if you like Quentin Tarantino movies and you are on the fence about seeing it, then I highly suggest you go and see this movie.  Like I said, it was probably his best film since the first Kill Bill (the second sucked compared to the first one) and that is saying something because that movie was really good.

Fart Rating (out of 5):  4.25 Farts

NOKW - Jurassic Park

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Jurassic Park

Basic Plot:  A rich old dude figures out a way to clone dinosaurs, creates an amusement park, and during the first tour of his new dinosaur park, the human-eating monsters get loose and start eating humans.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that scientists thought mixing dinosaur DNA with frog DNA somehow makes perfect clones of dinosaurs.  The fact that those same scientists didn't bother to check to see if that same frog DNA wasn't of a species that could change their sex, you know, so that their all-female dinosaur island couldn't do the same thing.  The fact that the only smart thing the rich old guy does in the entire movie is put his dinosaur amusement park on a small uninhabited island; after that, it's all downhill.  The fact that the scientists thought it would be a good idea to breed Velociraptors even though they are super smart and really good at murdering people.  The fact that that the little kid not only survived a long fall while inside an SUV but also survived being electrified when the security fence turned back on with him still holding onto it.  The fact that that same SUV fell off of a cliff that wasn't there when they first went past the T-Rex pen.  The fact that the fat bad guy thought turning off all of the electrical fences instead of just disabling the gates he needed to access was a good idea.  The fact that the Raptors figured out how to open doors in minutes despite never having seen one.  The fact that the T-Rex creates ripples in water with its every step, but they don't hear him coming at the end of the movie when it miraculously saves the humans from the Raptors.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that Samuel L. Jackson's character, a computer expert, thought that simply rebooting the computer system would get rid of the fat bad guy's computer virus.  Have you ever had a computer virus?  Did you reboot your computer hoping that would help?  Did it work?  Of course not.  If anything it made it worse because it allowed the virus to fully attach itself to your directory files.  So, why did one of the head computer technicians think that by rebooting the system it would fix the problem?  And sure, it actually did work, but that's because this is a movie and if it didn't work, everyone would have been eaten alive and we couldn't have that.  And okay, maybe it really was as easy as rebooting the system in order to fix this particular computer virus, but why in the hell did it take so long for Samuel L. Jackson to figure that out?  He's the computer geek for the most sophisticated amusement park in the world, he should know how to fix a simple computer virus in seconds.  And maybe that thing wasn't technically a computer virus, but it was a program that did a bunch of stuff you didn't want it to do and it was really tough to get it to go away, which to me is the idiot's definition for a computer virus.  And another thing, did the fat bad guy ever intend to have the fences come back online?  If so, when?  And if not, did he really think he was going to be able to hide for the rest of his life from a billionaire with unlimited resources after destroying that billionaire's billion dollar amusement park?  I am not okay with that.

"Not only can she open doors, but she would also solve complex math equations if she had opposable thumbs."

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!

Calvin Johnson's absurdly good season, and career thus far, highlight how great he is and prove even more how really great Jerry Rice was.

First, let's start with Calvin.  Calvin Johnson is already, barring injury, considered by many to be a sure-fire Hall-of-Famer.  This year he broke Jerry Rice's receiving yards in a single season record with 1,964 yards.  He only had 5 touchdowns this year but was tackled on the 1 yard line 6 times!  With his best receiving year ever, Calvin already has 488 receptions, 7,836 receiving yards, and 54 touchdowns.  Those are incredible numbers and make you wonder if he will break all of Jerry Rice's career receiving records (he owns all of them).

Jerry Rice has basically had the career Calvin has had times three and plus some.  Adding his injured or strike-shortened seasons together Rice had about 19 full NFL seasons.  Through his first 6 seasons (which is where Calvin is now) Jerry had 42 less receptions, 30 more yards, and 25 more touchdowns compared to Calvin.  Expanding that out, Calvin is on pace to be right with Rice in receptions and yards but not even close in TDs.  As good as the start to Calvin's career has been, Jerry Rice's second six years were even better.  Rice's second six seasons compared to Calvin's first six: 116 more receptions, 675 more yards, and 21 more touchdowns.

What does this all mean?  Calvin Johnson has a legitimate shot at Rice's records, which is saying a lot since no one has even been on a pace to beat him for more than a season or two.  But Calvin is going to have to step it up even more to get them and still maintain longevity - Calvin is still less than a third of the way to Rice's career in terms of length.  Don't forget though - Rice played the majority of his career with two Hall of Fame quarterbacks while Calvin has played his with a jugghead.

"6'-5", 239 lbs, 4.35 sec 40 time, 42.5" vertical, 11'-7" broad jump. FREAK!"

Happy New Year

I hope your hangover is not as painful as mine.  Happy New Year!!!