Movie: Jurassic Park
Basic Plot: A rich old dude figures out a way to clone dinosaurs, creates an amusement park, and during the first tour of his new dinosaur park, the human-eating monsters get loose and start eating humans.
I'm Okay With: The fact that scientists thought mixing dinosaur DNA with frog DNA somehow makes perfect clones of dinosaurs. The fact that those same scientists didn't bother to check to see if that same frog DNA wasn't of a species that could change their sex, you know, so that their all-female dinosaur island couldn't do the same thing. The fact that the only smart thing the rich old guy does in the entire movie is put his dinosaur amusement park on a small uninhabited island; after that, it's all downhill. The fact that the scientists thought it would be a good idea to breed Velociraptors even though they are super smart and really good at murdering people. The fact that that the little kid not only survived a long fall while inside an SUV but also survived being electrified when the security fence turned back on with him still holding onto it. The fact that that same SUV fell off of a cliff that wasn't there when they first went past the T-Rex pen. The fact that the fat bad guy thought turning off all of the electrical fences instead of just disabling the gates he needed to access was a good idea. The fact that the Raptors figured out how to open doors in minutes despite never having seen one. The fact that the T-Rex creates ripples in water with its every step, but they don't hear him coming at the end of the movie when it miraculously saves the humans from the Raptors.
I'm Not Okay With: The fact that Samuel L. Jackson's character, a computer expert, thought that simply rebooting the computer system would get rid of the fat bad guy's computer virus. Have you ever had a computer virus? Did you reboot your computer hoping that would help? Did it work? Of course not. If anything it made it worse because it allowed the virus to fully attach itself to your directory files. So, why did one of the head computer technicians think that by rebooting the system it would fix the problem? And sure, it actually did work, but that's because this is a movie and if it didn't work, everyone would have been eaten alive and we couldn't have that. And okay, maybe it really was as easy as rebooting the system in order to fix this particular computer virus, but why in the hell did it take so long for Samuel L. Jackson to figure that out? He's the computer geek for the most sophisticated amusement park in the world, he should know how to fix a simple computer virus in seconds. And maybe that thing wasn't technically a computer virus, but it was a program that did a bunch of stuff you didn't want it to do and it was really tough to get it to go away, which to me is the idiot's definition for a computer virus. And another thing, did the fat bad guy ever intend to have the fences come back online? If so, when? And if not, did he really think he was going to be able to hide for the rest of his life from a billionaire with unlimited resources after destroying that billionaire's billion dollar amusement park? I am not okay with that.
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| "Not only can she open doors, but she would also solve complex math equations if she had opposable thumbs." |
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