Stupid State Laws - Georgia 12

Here comes another post about a state law that still exists on the books and why it is ridiculous (to see them all, click here):

Georgia

"Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter a game of bingo."

This law is so stupid, it's funny.  Who cares if you entice people to play bingo by giving away goldfish?  No one.  And for that matter, would you take the goldfish even it was free?  No way, that thing is just going to die in a couple days anyways.  On top of that, if someone is on the fence about playing bingo, I truly don't think a free goldfish is going to be what gets them to buy a card.  Why, Georgia?  Why is this law in existence?  Explain yourself!

"Well, what do we have here?  It looks like we finally nabbed the Goldfish Bingo Bandit.  Isn't that right, rookie?"
"I don't think that's what the law means by goldfish, Sarge."
"Damn it, rookie!  How many times do I have to remind you to leave the thinking to me!"

Saturday's Video of Saturday

Here is our weekly funny video post.  Let's see what we got for you guys:

Set up:  Yup, we are doing another Weird Al video.  This is another song that proves that Al has still got it:

Summary:  I really wish a school band would play this song during a game.  It's demoralizing and hilarious at the same time.  Just imagine the crowd yelling in unison "We're great and you SUCK!".  It would be priceless.

Who Is This? Part 29

This is a good one.  It's such a good one that I will give you a good hint.  That is a picture of this guy as a kid.  Wasn't that a good hint?  Of course it was, so who is it?  You still don't know?!?  What the hell!  Fine, I'll give you a great hint this time.  That guy grew up to become the guy who traveled in time with his buddy Bill and also became The One in a computer-created world ruled by machines.  Yup, that's Keanu Reeves.  Cute kid, right?  And you can kind of see the resemblance.

So, what is he up to now?  Well, he finally released a good movie recently with John Wick, which I haven't seen, but my brother tells me I have to check out.  And he has five movies in the pipe, but nothing that jumps off the page as looking particularly interesting.  The good news is that there is talk of a Bill and Ted sequel, so we have that to look forward to.

Weekly Picks of the Week - Championship Week

Picks in Bold

Rankings based on CFP Selection Committee Rankings
All lines provided by Sportsbook.ag

PAC-12 Championship
#7 Arizona Wildcats (+14) v. #2 Oregon Ducks

Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara CA
Friday 9:00
FOX

SEC Championship
#16 Missouri Tigers v. #1 Alabama Crimson Tide (-14.5)

Georgia Dome, Atlanta
4:00
CBS

#9 Kansas State Wildcats (N/A) @ #6 Baylor Bears

7:45
ESPN

ACC Championship
#4 Florida State Seminoles v. #11 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (+4)

Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte
8:00
ABC

Big 10 Championship
#13 Wisconsin Badgers v. #5 Ohio State Buckeyes (+4.5)

Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis
8:15
FOX

-NFL Draft "Expert" Mel Kiper Jr. said this before the 2010 Draft:

“If [Clausen is] not a successful starting quarterback in the NFL, I’m done. That’s it. I’m out.”

After starting 10 games his rookie year, Jimmy Clausen hasn't started a game since.  Clausen sucked so bad his first year in the league (3 TDs, 9 INTs) that the Panthers went out and drafted Cam Newton first overall the following year.  That means he was so bad that they weren't even willing to give him a second year to develop.  On top of the fact that he sucked so bad that his team got the first pick in the draft the next year.  If I'm not mistaken, this means that Mel Kiper Jr. owes us his resignation.

-Stat of the Week:
Years in the SEC:  Missouri - 3, South Carolina - 23
Division Titles:  Missouri - 2, South Carolina - 1

SEC Least Update

-I know I said that I wouldn't make fun of the SEC East again this season, but last weekend made me break that promise.  The almighty SEC went 0-4 against the lowly ACC last weekend, and all four teams that lost were from the SEC East.  I found that too hilarious not to mention.

-Two winning weeks in a row!  I am on a roll.  And I would have gone 4-1 if I didn't chicken out and pick Minnesota like I wanted to but didn't want to be picking so many visiting teams.  Oh well.  You can expect my streak to continue this week or your money back.

-Last Week's Funniest College GameDay Sign:

"If you don't get why that's funny, it's either because 1) you don't have Chick-fil-a in your town and didn't know they are closed on Sundays, or 2) you also wait outside Chick-fil-a on Sundays."

-Alright, enjoy championship week of college football.

Last Week's Results: 3-2
Season Results: 37-40

A Sports Question

Miami Marlins player, Giancarlo Stanton, recently signed a 13-year/$325 million contract.  That is an absurd amount of money!  In fact, during his press conference after signing his contract, a reporter informed him that his new contract will pay him roughly $69,000 a day for the length of his contract.  That is beyond absurd.  This got me to thinking.  What comes first - a player in one of the major sports signs a one billion dollar contract?  Or the Apocalypse?

In the past two years, seven sports stars have signed contracts worth over $200 million.  That's a lot of money.  In fact, that's more money than you can spend unless you really don't understand how to manage your money, and if you have that much money, you can definitely afford a good money manager.  Ten years ago, players were only signing contracts in the 100 million dollar range.  So, at this rate, I can only assume that a player will sign the first billion dollar contract in the next 30 years or so (I have nothing to base that on, just guessing).  With that in mind....

When will the Apocalypse occur?  In the next 30 years?  Depends on what we are talking about.  I can only assume that at the rate computers are improving, we could see the machines take over in that same time span.  So, that brings me back to my original question - what comes first?  A billion dollar athlete?  Or robots becoming our overlords?  It really could go either way.

"Guess what kid, one day you will either grow up to be the first guy to ever have a billion dollar contract, or have your brains eaten by a zombie.  It really is 50/50."

Brainfart's Crush of the Month - December

At the beginning of every month, we here at Brainfart will be bringing you our Brainfart Crush of the Month!  Sometimes it will be someone you have heard of, sometimes it will be just a random hottie you may have seen before, and sometimes it might be my neighbor.  Who knows!  Let's see who we picked this month:

This is Hannah Ferguson (click on her name for a kind of NSFW photo).  As you can tell, she is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, but she is also the hot chick eating a cheeseburger and washing a truck in those Hardee's/Carl's Jr. commercials.  I don't know about you, but I instantly fell in love with her as soon as I laid eyes on this photo.  I'm guessing it's her super sexy eyes.  And for that, I would like to congratulate Hannah on this most stupendous honor.

Top/Bottom 5 Movie Roles - Adam Sandler

Here is where I pick a random actor or actress's Top 5 and Bottom 5 Movie Roles (I assume the post title gave that away).  This won't necessarily be the chosen actor or actress's best roles, but a combination of their best and my favorite.  In other words, if there is a tie, I'll go with my favorite.  Also, I won't actually be ranking them, they will be in a random order.  Lastly, this isn't these actor's or actress's best movies, but their best characters.  Let's get started:

Adam Sandler

Top 5

Billy Madison, Billy Madison - All I will say about how much I like this movie is that my fantasy football team is named Nudie Magazine Day.
Happy Gilmore, Happy Gilmore - Every time I see this movie again, I always laugh at how ridiculous Julie Bowen's haircut is (she plays the blond mom on Modern Family).
Bobby Boucher, The Waterboy - Was Bobby Boucher a dumb character?  Yes.  But as a whole, this movie was pretty funny and one of the last times Sandler made a decent film.
Barry Egan, Punch-Drunk Love - Ah yes, this flick.  Adam's first go at a drama.  And you know what?  He was pretty damn good.  Surprisingly so.  I saw this once and didn't like it, but that was probably because he was so convincingly not funny that I totally missed at how good of a job he actually did.
Nicky, Little Nicky - I know, this movie was really terrible, but for some reason I like it.  I can't explain why, but it's funny to me and I don't know why.

Bottom 5

Everything Else He Has Ever Done - Seriously, everything he has done outside of a couple of movies, the rest of his movie career is garbage, especially the last decade or so.  It seems that every single one of his movies lately follows the same script - pick a hot love interest, go to an exotic locale, and make a bad movie.  How is he still getting work with his string of crap?  I honestly don't know anyone that has gone to see one of his movies since 2000.