The Maggie Theory

Awhile back I read a Bill Simmons' column where he talks about something he calls the "Maggie Theory". Basically, the theory pertains to great movies that have a glaring weakness that makes the movie unwatchable over time.  Usually this weakness is a casting choice that makes you cringe each time you rewatch the movie.  In honor of the Maggie Theory, I've come up with a couple of movies which were one actor/actress away from being a classic.  Let's do this:

• Caddyshack, Maggie - This is the movie where the theory got its name.  Maggie plays Noonan's annoying girlfriend and her accent just drives me nuts.  They could have left her out of the movie and nobody would have noticed.
• Gangs of New York, Cameron Diaz - I actually liked this movie.  It was a little long but Daniel Day-Lewis was so good it almost overshadowed how terrible Cameron Diaz was.  Could they not find a better actress for this part?  The answer is yes.  Easily.
• The Dark Knight, Maggie Gyllenhaal - On four occasions (I looked it up), I have stated that Maggie Gyllenhaal is the only reason this movie wasn't seriously considered for a Best Picture Oscar.  I hated her so much, that I actually applauded when she was blown up (oh yeah, spoiler alert).
• The Fifth Element, Chris Tucker - If you haven't seen this movie, go watch it now.  It is awesome....if you can get over Chris Tucker's annoying character.  He's supposed to be the comic relief, but I think his character just sucked the life out of me every time he opened his mouth.
• Old School, Ellen Pompeo - This was Bill Simmons' biggest Maggie Theory nominee in his article and I couldn't agree more.  When I saw this movie, I didn't think she was that bad.  Then I saw an episode of Punk'd (back when it was popular) where she was the victim and she came off as the biggest bitch in the world and it really changed my view of her so much that I can't stand her anymore, making Old School a slightly worse movie.
• Pulp Fiction, Bruce Willis's French Girlfriend - This is by far the biggest Maggie Theory in my view.  Even more than Maggie Gyllenhaal, which is hard to do.  Bruce Willis' girlfriend in this movie was beyond awful.  Every time I heard her speak, I wanted to rip out my eardrums with a spork.  She is the number one reason I find it hard to rewatch Pulp Fiction to this day.

"Katie Holmes might not be the greatest actress in the world, but anyone other than Maggie Gyllenhaal would have made The Dark Knight that much better."