Monday, December 2, 2013

NOKW - King Kong

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  King Kong (2005)

Basic Plot:  A boat full of filmmakers search for and find a secret island that is inhabited by primitive people, dinosaurs, giant bugs, and a giant monkey.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that Jack Black was cast in this movie.  The fact that this movie is set during the Depression when money is hard to come by and Jack Black keeps promising to pay people after the voyage and they keep agreeing with this situation.  The fact that finding a place called Skull Island was thought to be a worthy endeavour.  The fact that everyone wasn't trampled during the Brontosaurus stampede.  The fact that they call them Brontosauruses when those dinosaurs don't actually exist.  The fact that everyone wasn't killed when being attacked by those giant bugs.  The fact that everyone didn't die during any of the other ridiculous situations.  The fact that King Kong was able to kill three T-Rexes.  The fact that Kong was able to so easily bust through the primitives' wall towards the end of the movie and didn't do it at any other time in its life.  The fact that King Kong exists at all.  The fact that anyone would think bringing a giant killer monkey to a populated city would be a good idea.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that after knocking out King Kong, they were able to get him in their boat and then found somewhere to hold him.  In this movie, King Kong is 25 feet tall and weighs anywhere from 20 to 60 tons.  Also, it is set in 1930's which means that our boat and its crew are working with some really crappy technology.  So, my question is - how in the hell did they get a 20 to 60 ton monster onto their boat?  And considering a couple scenes show us the boat's small cargo hold, where in the hell did they put Kong?  Let's say they do somehow get Kong on the ship and in the tiny cargo hold, how did they keep him there?  Sure, they could have kept drugging him, but they were traveling from Indonesia to New York on a boat, that would take months and Kong would surely die before making it there.  On top of that, where did they get enough food to feed a 20 to 60 ton monkey for those many months in transit?  If anything, Kong should have died well before making it back to the States, but I still have no idea how they ever got him on the boat in the first place.  I am not okay with that.

"I could see him maybe beating one T-Rex, but three?  No chance."

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