Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Rules That Movies Should Obey

There are just certain rules that a good movie should follow, and because I love to make silly lists, here are a couple of said rules:

  • Never Kill a Dog - NEVER.  I don't care if it moves the plot along, a good movie should never kill a dog.  The only movie I can think of right now that did this is that stupid alien invasion movie, The Darkest Hour, where the aliens are invisible and kill anything they touch.  It was a really dumb movie and then they killed a dog and it turned into a terrible movie.
  • Don't Force Romances - I understand that in order to get men and women to come see a movie, you need a romance, but please don't force a romance on us.  Don't write a character in the movie just so you can trick people into coming to see your movie, it's unnecessary.
  • Twist Endings Must Make Sense - A good twist ending is fun every now and then, but don't make a movie based entirely around a twist ending that doesn't make sense.  Or basically every M. Night Shamalamdingdong's movie after The Sixth Sense.  Seriously, water kills the aliens?  So dumb.
  • No Stating the Obvious - I hate it when you are watching a movie and a character says exactly what is going on.  I can see it happening, I don't need the movie to also tell me what is happening.  I can't think of any examples right now, but you know what I'm talking about.
  • Witty One-Liners Are Not Always Necessary - It was okay when Will Smith did it in Independence Day.  It was not okay when Will Smith did it in Wild Wild West.
  • Eye Candy Characters Must Be Believable - I'm looking at you, The World is Not Enough.  Denise Richards should never play a nuclear scientist and she certainly shouldn't be named Dr. Christmas Jones.
  • Don't Substitute CGI for Plot - This seems to be a growing trend in Hollywood right now.  Movies like Wrath of the Titans, 47 Ronin, and the soon to be released I, Frankenstein seem to think it's okay to just throw a bunch of computer graphics on the screen and hope the audience doesn't notice the plot is nonexistent.  

"A nuclear scientist would never wear something like that, let alone be that hot."

No comments:

Post a Comment