Monday, September 24, 2012

NOKW - Cowboys & Aliens

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Cowboys & Aliens

Basic Plot:  Some cowboys fight some aliens.  Also, it turns out that the super sexy Olivia Wilde was an alien too, but a good one.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that the aliens came to Earth to take our gold and as part of their plan, they have to wipe out the Earth's population for some reason.  The fact that the super sexy Olivia Wilde is an alien who came from another world and didn't bother to bring any sort of alien technology that could aid her in fighting the bad aliens.  The fact that super sexy Olivia Wilde is an alien looking to stop the bad guy aliens and just so happens to live in the one town the bad guy aliens attack.  The fact that James Bond might have the worst Old West accent since Liam Neeson in Seraphim Falls.  The fact that the cowboys thought it would be a good idea to go after the bad guy aliens even though they got their asses handed to them in their first skirmish with the help of only a couple guys and a handful of guns.  The fact that James Bond totally checks out the super sexy Olivia Wilde when she is naked in the scene where (Spoiler Alert) she comes back to life...somehow.  The fact that in the final fight scene, the bad guy aliens abandon their strategy of jumping out of bushes and killing cowboys in bunches when they could have easily won that fight in minutes.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that the bad aliens have an armband that can see through walls, detect other aliens, shoot some sort of projectile, and most importantly, blow up their ship in a nuclear-style explosion.  While that armband is awesome in its own right, why would they allow it the ability to blow up their entire ship with the wrong push of a button.  If you didn't see the movie, James Bond steals an armband while being held captive by the bad guy aliens and then gives it to the super sexy Olivia Wilde who crawls up into the heart of the bad guy alien's ship at the end of the movie and then blows the whole thing up using that armband.  So, if the bad guys are going to have such an awesome piece of hardware, why in the hell would they give it the ability to wipe them all out?  Seriously, what if some slow-witted alien rolls over while sleeping and accidentally pushes the "Blow Up Ship" button?  They would all be screwed, that's what would happen, so why would they even let it come to that?  On top of that, if they know James Bond has one of their armbands that has the potential to kill them all, why are they not using all of their resources to hunt him down and get it back?  I am not okay with that.

"If she told me I could touch her boobs only if I killed someone for her, I wouldn't hesitate."

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