Monday, July 22, 2013

NOKW - Star Wars 2

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Basic Plot:  Good question.  Well, some clones attack, kind of, and Anakin Skywalker is all grown up but still an apprentice.  Also, Yoda has a fight scene for some reason.

I'm Okay With:  The fact that after the train wreck that was The Phantom Menace this movie really wasn't that much better.  The fact that a bounty hunter hired another bounty hunter to try and kill Natalie Portman when he could have just done it himself.  The fact that Anakin jumped out of a flying car, fell hundreds of feet, landed on another fast-moving flying car, and somehow didn't die.  The fact that the Jedi Council thought it would be a good idea to send their young Jedi apprentice to guard a hot young former queen in an isolated place without thinking that maybe that wouldn't result in any hanky panky.  The fact that the cloning aliens cloning facility is located on a planet covered in nothing but water and stormy weather and somehow thought that this business model would result in business.  The fact that cloning thousands of kids to be trained in nothing but combat is not considered highly illegal.  The fact that I really wanted to punch young Boba Fett in the face for being so annoying.  The fact that the bad guys capture two Jedi and a member of the Senate, sentence them to death by fighting giant monsters, and thought they would get away with it.  The fact that Yoda is surprisingly skilled with a lightsaber.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that whoever was behind the cloning project picked a bounty hunter as their cloning model and not a badass Jedi.  A bounty hunter wouldn't be a bad idea considering they are decent fighters and probably lack empathy, but wouldn't you want a much more badass person to clone for your army?  Wouldn't a Jedi make much more sense?  Not only are they trained to wield arguably the most badass weapon in existence, but you would also have an entire army that can throw their enemy across the battlefield with their minds.  On top of that, if you pick the right Jedi you know that guy is ten times more intelligent than Jango Fett.  Come on, the telekinesis thing alone should have been reason enough to pick a Jedi over a stupid bounty hunter any day of the week.  But no, they choose Jango Fett.  I am not okay with that.

"Anyone who purposely dresses like that cannot possibly be trustworthy."

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