Friday, November 15, 2013

Movie Media Coverage

Every time I watch a movie that involves superheros, alien attacks, or some sort of supernatural event, I always wonder what the media coverage would be like the day after those events.  Look at this way, for a straight week after the Boston Marathon Bombing, we got non-stop coverage of the bombing and only a couple of people were killed in the attack.  My heart goes out to those people's families and I'm not trying to downplay that event, I'm just trying to say that the media went crazy over that attack.  Now, just imagine that coverage but instead of a bomb during a marathon, imagine that it was 30-foot tall alien robots getting in a fight in a populated area.  It would be insane.  Let's look at a couple of movies were would be watching the media showing the same clips and images over and over for months:

  • Transformers - Like I said above, just imagine the coverage we would have to endure if 30-foot alien robots fought it out in a large city.
  • The Avengers - At the end of the movie, they show some of the TV coverage after the attack in New York, but what I really want to see is the stories about the clean-up.  First off, there would be billions in damage, but more importantly, how in the hell is anyone going to remove those giant flying alien corpses?  Is there any conceivable technology that can move something that size?  I really want to know.
  • Man of Steel - If there was a lot of damage in The Avengers, just imagine the cost of the destruction of Metropolis in this movie.  Not to mention the fact that there are aliens out there that are indestructible and can fucking fly.  I would love to see the debate on numerous shows about the physics of Superman's flying ability.
  • X-Men 3 - A group of mutants were able to uproot the Golden Gate Bridge and make it fly across the San Francisco Bay.  How do you even go about fixing something like that?  Do you blow it up and start over?  Do you just leave it?  It would be fascinating to watch the coverage of that.
  • Spider-Man - While the fights in the sequels were cooler, just imagine the media foaming at the mouth the first time Spider-Man and the Green Goblin go at it during that parade.  They kind of show some of the coverage through The Daily Bugle, but that only scratches the surface.
  • The Dark Knight Rises - Gotham was taken over by terrorists with a nuke for five months.  During that five month stretch, we would never hear the end of it from CNN and the other news channels.  You wouldn't be able to turn on the TV without seeing live shots of Gotham and after about a week, I would want to punch somebody and would pay anything if they would just talk about something else.

"If Superman actually existed, TMZ would jizz their pants every second of every day covering this guy."

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