Selling My Car

I sold my car about a year ago and am finally getting around to telling you guys about a funny story involved with the transaction.  First off, I should tell you that it was an orange-ish 1998 Ford Explorer Sport.  The "Sport" part means that it had the upside of being a stickshift, but the downside of only having two doors.  I loved that car as long as I didn't have more than one other person in it, because it was annoying to have to scoot the seats forward to give legroom to people sitting in the back.  Now, I had had this car for a decade and a half and it had all sorts of weird quarks.  Let me tell you about them:

• The windshield wipers worked about 75% of the time and if you wanted to use the windshield wiper fluid, you had to pump the button a few times until it finally figured out what you wanted.
• The rear windshield wiper worked maybe once a year.
• The cruise control feature quit working after only three years of owning the car.  So, you had to control your own speed on the interstate which was annoying on long trips.
• In order to unlock the tailgate, you had to hit the unlock button a few times.  If you wanted to use a key to unlock it, you had to wiggle the key in the lock really hard until it finally caught.
• The key just flat out didn't work on the passenger side door.
• And the best part of all, in order to listen to the radio, you had to have a CD in the CD player otherwise it would constantly be trying to find one and cut the radio off.

So, knowing that last part, I decided to burn one last CD for my car before I sold it and I came up with possibly the worst song known to man to put on that CD.  What song you ask?  The Monster Mash!  Yup, the Monster Mash.  Most annoying song ever if you have to listen to it on repeat and because that was the only song I put on that CD, if the new owner turned on the CD player, they would have to listen to that song on a loop until they figured out what was going on.  I'm sure the first time they heard it, they thought "I remember this song, fun".  The second time they thought "Weird, it's the Monster Mash again, oh well, I'll listen it to it again".  The third time "what the fuck, this song is really getting on my nerves".  And on the fourth time their head exploded causing my old car to fly off a conveniently placed cliff and my car is now in a trench with human brains splattered all over the interior.  Frankly, I think that's the way it would have wanted to go.

"It was nicknamed the Orange Delight by the cop who patrolled my high school."