Hot Dog, I'm Going To A Game

In my opinion, hot dogs are the best food item ever, which makes them a really easy choice for best stadium food ever. Baseball games do no count unless you eat a hot dog - that's why David Wells and Cecil Fielder have played the most real games of anyone ever. Hot dogs are similar to a sandwich in that it is a blank canvas...but this canvas mandates meat. There are actually people out there that don't like sadwiches and hot dogs. You put whatever the hell you want on it moron. It's like researching and picking out a car then buying and not liking it - makes no sense. Do you like chicken noodle soup? How about a hot dog with grilled chicken and some crunchy noodles. If you think ketchup and cheese will make it worse then stop reading right now.

Hot dogs are similar to what Ron White said about breasts, you will try any of them once even if they don't look that great. You want to see a 60 year old biker lady's boobs, "Sure, why not." You want to try a hot dog with onion rings and Doritos with some blue cheese? "I'll have a bite."

Hot dogs also don't lend themselves to dirty hippie vegans. There are plenty of vegan sandwiches but you can't have a true vegan hot dog - only a bunch of grass shaped like a penis. Fortunately for those men who are nervous about the shape, there is a world-wide gentleman's agreement not to make fun of it. It is the same agreement we have with cigars.

To celebrate the first start of another overpriced Japanese pitcher, the Rangers even sold some super weird Chinese hot dog even though Yu Darvish is from Osaka (Oops).

"Wanton wrapped hot dog?  I'll take two!"

So, the next time you are at a game, have a hot dog and enjoy. What's did you say? You prefer pizza? Then put some hot dog in the crust!