Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Top/Bottom 5 Movie Roles - Bruce Willis

Here is where I pick a random actor or actress's Top 5 and Bottom 5 Movie Roles (I assume the post title gave that away).  This won't necessarily be the chosen actor or actress's best roles, but a combination of their best and my favorite.  In other words, if there is a tie, I'll go with my favorite.  Also, I won't actually be ranking them, they will be in a random order.  Lastly, this isn't these actor's or actress's best movies, but their best characters.  Let's get started:


Top 5
John McClane, Die Hard - Of course John McClane made the list.  He's the reason we even know who Bruce Willis is and made it cool to wear a wife beater....until rednecks took that away from us.
Korben DallasThe Fifth Element - Highly underrated movie and Bruce nails this role.  Also, it helps this movie that my teenager self got to see some Milla Jovovich side boob
Jimmy TudeskiThe Whole Nine Yards - I don't care how stupid the sequel was, the first one was hilarious.  And once again, we got to see some boobs, this time it was Amanda Peet's boobs.
Dr. Malcolm CroweThe Sixth Sense - I just noticed that's three straight movies with a number in the title.  Weird.
Joe BlakeBandits - This is one of fellow Brainfart contributor Alex's favorite movies and I have to agree, it's pretty good.  No boobs this time, but it did have a super young January Jones in it.

Bottom 5
John McClane, A Good Day to Die Hard - Yup, as awesome as John McClane is, we cannot excuse him for this piece of shit.  The first sequel?  Sure.  The second one?  Better than you would think.  A third one?  Kind of dumb, but entertaining.  A fourth one?  NO!!!!  This was a travesty to the great career of John McClane and should be removed from your memories for his sake.
Harry StamperArmageddon - Michael Bay was involved, therefore it was crap.
Hudson HawkHudson Hawk - Has anyone seen this movie?  It's so dumb, it's almost watchable, but then you watch a second time and realize that it is just dumb.
ChurchThe Expendables - I still don't know how this movie spawned two sequels.  I only saw the first one and it was an hour and a half of old people fighting and terrible one-liners.
Butch CoolidgePulp Fiction - I love this movie.  Everything is incredible about it......except for Bruce Willis's character's choice in girlfriends.  She is by far the most annoying person to ever appear in a movie and it makes watching this movie again painful.

"Besides this movie being highly underrated, I'm fairly certain it was the last time Bruce had hair."

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