NOKW - Demolition Man

Here comes the next chapter in our "I'm Okay With, I'm Not Okay With" series (if you don't know what this is, click here for all of the past posts):

Movie:  Demolition Man

Basic Plot:  Sylvester Stallone is a cop from the past who is frozen for some stupid reason and is thawed out decades later to help stop Wesley Snipe from wreaking havoc on the peaceful city of San Angeles (or was it Los Diego).

I'm Okay With:  The fact that the movie starts out with an action scene that would make a great scene for a movie I would rather watch than this movie.  The fact that Stallone goes to ice prison for a crime that Wesley Snipes's committed.  The fact that the freezing process looks really really painful.  The fact that freezing prisoners and than releasing them back on the world still in their prime seems ridiculous instead of letting those same prisoners waste away in a prison and releasing them when they are old men.  The fact that the phrase "Murder Death Kill" is redundantly stupid.  The fact that this might have been the best role of Wesley Snipe's career.  The fact that this movie takes a dark turn if you pretend that Sandra Bullock's character is Sly's character's long lost daughter because they definitely hint that this might be the case and yet they bone at the end.  The fact that those tickets Stallone gets for cursing will probably never be paid.  The fact that this movie is basically one big Taco Bell advertisement.  The fact that Jack Black has a really small part in this movie.

I'm Not Okay With:  The fact that I still don't know what those three fucking shells in the bathroom are for.  If you haven't seen this great cinematic work yet then just know that you are missing out on great art.  In any case, a running joke throughout the movie is that Stallone goes to take a dump and instead of toilet paper there are three seashells (see picture below).  But what in the hell are these seashells supposed to accomplish when wiping your ass?  According to the DVD commentary, you are supposed to use two of them like chopsticks to open your ass cheeks and then use the third one to wipe.  WHAT?!?  That doesn't solve the problem at hand mostly because I don't see how a seashell's shape is supposed to help wipe your butt.  On top of that, do you throw the seashells away after you are done because there is definitely going to be a lot of poop all over the place?  And if they throw them away after each use, wouldn't that be more wasteful than just using toilet paper?  Yes.  It would.  I am not okay with that.

"I feel like there should poop all over that little seashell shelf."