Friday, January 10, 2014

NFL QBs Named Matt....

....suck.  For some reason, there are a lot of quarterbacks in the NFL with the first name Matt.  And all of them suck at playing the position.  All of them!  To prove my point, I made a list of these Matts.  Let's explore:

  • Ryan - Matt Ryan has had some success in the league and even made it to the NFC Championship last year, but as a whole, his career has sucked.  He has one playoff win and since losing his best receiver this year, the Falcons have gone from first to worst in their division.
  • Stafford - This guy was drafted first overall in 2009 and has had a so-so career to date.  Basically, he couldn't stay healthy his first couple seasons, has a 24-36 career record, and if he didn't have the best receiver in football (Calvin "Megatron" Johnson), he would suck even more than he does now.
  • Schaub - The best way to sum up this guy is by this stat - he owns the NFL record for consecutive games throwing a pick-six with four.
  • Flynn - Somehow he owns all of the Green Bay Packers' single game passing records which he translated into a huge contract with the Seahawks only to be beaten out by a rookie for the starting job, then was traded to the awful Raiders, lost the job again, got cut, went to the awful Bills, got cut, and is now on the Packers again, all in the span of two years.  Pure suck.
  • Lienart - The only thing this guy has going for him is that he won the Heisman in 2004.  In 31 career NFL games, he has 800 fewer passing yards and 32 fewer touchdown passes than Peyton Manning has through 14 games this season.
  • Moore - After seeing him on Hard Knocks last year, I actually came to like this guy because he is one goofy bastard, but that doesn't make him a good quarterback.  In fact, he has never been the starter for a full season and is a career back-up for the most part.
  • Hasselbeck - This is the only guy who has started in a Super Bowl and actually had some pretty decent seasons with the Seahawks.  Also, I'm fairly certain he has more play-off wins than the rest of the QBs on this list combined (5).  However, he has basically been a back-up for the past two seasons which means he currently sucks.
  • Cassel - Just like Matt Flynn, this guy translated one good season with the Patriots into a big contract with the Chiefs but sucked pretty hard when he got there.  He is currently the back-up in Minnesota and can't even beat out noodle-arm Christian Ponder.
  • Barkley - If Barkley had gone into the draft after his junior season, he would have been drafted in the Top 5, but he stayed an extra season and fell all the way to the 4th Round the next year.  I feel like that should wrap up why he sucks pretty easily.
  • McGloin - This guy currently starts for the Raiders and the Raiders suck.  The end.
  • Simms, Blanchard, Brown, Scott - I grouped these guys together because I have no idea who they are, but they showed up in a search I did for QBs named Matt and I thought they should be included.  Considering I have never heard of any of them should tell you all you need to know about their suckiness.

That's 14 guys named Matt who "play" quarterback in the NFL and the only one who was any good is a 38 year old backup today.  In other words, if you are thinking about having a son who you want to play quarterback one day, for the love of the football gods, do not name him Matt.

"Instead, name him Peyton."

P.S.  I finished 9-7 with my College Football Bowl Picks and I couldn't be happier.  Sure, some of that is because Clemson won the Orange Bowl, but it's also because picking bowl games is a total crap-shoot and finishing above .500 is pretty impressive.  I'll take it.

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