Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Sequels, Prequels, and More - Part 14

Another look at Hollywood's hilarious concept of upcoming movies, meaning that they have run out of ideas and they can only come up with another round of prequels, sequels, and remakes and nothing original.  In this case, we will be looking at all of the video games that are in production to become movies:

  • Lobo - Who?  Exactly.  He is a Superman villain and if I didn't tell you that, you would be super confused right now, which begs the question - if you don't know who he is, why make a movie about him?  He's kind of cool, but not cool enough to have his own movie.  I did read that in a DC-Marvel crossover comic book series, Lobo was pitted against Wolverine, so if they he shows up in this movie, then maybe it will be worth making.  Maybe.
  • Sonic the Hedgehog - You mean Sega's answer to Nintendo's Mario is getting his own movie?  Unless this is a cartoon movie, there is no way it will be any good.....just like that Mario Bros. movie.
  • Sherlock Holmes 3 - Apparently it is rumored that Rachel McAdams's character will be back.  Umm, isn't she dead?  Then again, they didn't actually show that she was dead, just hinted at.  Either way, I'm in.
  • Jack Reacher 2 - Did anybody actually see the first Jack Reacher?
  • Salt 2 - Ugh.  I watched the first Salt once and was so confused by the end of it that vowed if they ever made another one, I would never watch it, even on TNT.  Okay, that's not true, but before you know, I vow to never see this movie, even on TNT.
  • X-Men: Apocalypse - Channing Tatum as Gambit.  Quicksilver (the best part of Days of Future Past) is back.  Plus all of our other favorite characters against the most powerful mutant in the Marvel universe.  Yes, please.
  • Sandman - Joseph Gordon-Levitt is attached to this comic book character that isn't the guy from that crappy Spider-Man 3 movie.  That's already confusing.  I'm out.
  • Flash/Green Lantern - This is marked as Green Lantern 2 on IMDB but I read that the Flash will be in it.  If Ryan Reynolds and space chickens are involved, I can already predict it will be a bomb.
  • Wolfenstein - Yup, they are making a movie based on the video game.  I saw Doom and that movie was basically the same game but with demons instead of Nazis.  There is no way this turns out well.
  • Shazam - A kid who can become a superhero by saying "Shazam!".  That is not a movie about that kid, it's about the wizard named Shazam who allows that kid to become a superhero.  At least that's what I'm assuming because otherwise this movie would be called Captain Marvel.  In any case, nope.

"There is no way to make a movie where Mecha Hitler exists, but if they don't include Mecha Hitler, this movie will suck.  That's a hell of a catch-22."

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