Movie: The Goonies
Basic Plot: A group of friends go on an adventure to find One-Eyed Willie's gold in the hopes of saving their foreclosed homes from the expansion of a country club.
I'm Okay With: The fact that the Goonies' parents are apparently too poor and incompetent to pay for their own homes and this meant that they should be given a second chance just because it was a country club that was trying to take away their homes. The fact that the Goonies just so happen to stumble across the three things (an old newspaper article, a map, and an artifact relating to hidden treasure) that they need to start their treasure hunt in one of their parents' attics and nobody else before them was able to figure out their significance. The fact that Chunk would be friends with a group of kids who constantly made fun of him and forced him to do the "Truffle Shuffle" all the time. The fact that a group of kids thought it would be a good idea to go up against the fugitive family, the Fratellis. The fact that Sloth didn't rip Chunk limb-from-limb when he first met him (side note - I had a middle school teacher who played pro football with John Matuszak, aka Sloth, with the Houston Oilers). The fact that the Goonies weren't killed in any one of the numerous booby traps considering a professional treasure hunter was killed by one of the first ones. The fact that no one found One-Eyed Willie's ship long before now considering there was an easily accessible hole in the cave that led directly to that ship. The fact that One-Eyed Willie's ship was able to sail after rotting inside that cave for however long it was there.
I'm Not Okay With: The fact that One-Eyed Willie and his crew didn't bother to leave his ship but instead just died sitting in their chairs. It's not like they couldn't leave that cave and we know that because they apparently took the time to set up a bunch of booby traps and there was even an exit in the main cave with the ship. What exactly was he and his crew proving by dying beside all of their treasure? Wouldn't it have been a better idea to leave the boat there, take some of the treasure, and have an awesome time on the town. I haven't seen this movie in a long time and they may have explained why he stayed, but even if there was an explanation, that is no reason to steal all of that treasure only to sit there looking at it while you whither away and die. That makes no sense. You obviously horded all that stuff so that you would become filthy rich the easy way, but why not spend it? And if One-Eyed Willie's plan was to die and never spend it, then why didn't his crew just mutiny, steal it, and spend the hell out of it? I am not okay with that.
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| "Come on, big guy, those kids found their way onto your ship, you could have found a way off of it." |
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